Post 50: A Lot Has Changed
I haven't looked at this thing -- I mean, really looked at it -- in over a year. It's like a previous life to me at this point. As of right now I am a second year graduate student at Hofstra University, majoring in Speech Communication, Rhetoric and Performance Studies. As of right now I have a 3.96 index and I received a $3000 scholarship for next year as a result. The plan once I'm done with this program is to go into screenwriting, either by internship or through New York Film Academy. It's pretty much my only shot at a field I could potentially thrive in, as sound recording doesn't have many avenues, drained me mentally when I did find one and even then I wasn't completely passionate about it at all the whole time. Retail, the steel mills of the middle class, has been my environment of employment for the past year. I started at Old Navy post-UNH for nine months. I learned a lot there... about people and their motivations. More on that later. I left Old Navy for my present job at Restoration Hardware and after four months, I'm borderline burnt out from the level of attention to detail as well as from the people interaction. I've even come up with a saying about my experiences in retail, "People are at their worst when they want to buy something and when they want to be entertained... people are at their best when they want to sell you something." It might end up being the topic of my thesis. I don't wanna get into anything too personal such my near 2 yr. relationship, or how far into debt I am right now (and that's before I start paying back loans for at least another year) for two reasons: 1) Blogging about personal shit has become cliche and 2) it can be viewed as an "unintended" message for anyone who knows me and could possibly read this. I truly don't care what you think of what I say but you're more than welcome to read this. It's the 21st century, if you don't want anyone attempting to read your diary, don't announce you have personal stuff in it or that you even have a diary; let others figure it out for themselves -- it's their choice.
You see, what I've learned is that when introduced to human motivation, many complexities emerge. These complexities become barriers from which, once they are removed, can the true motivations of people be seen. What those complexities are depend on the person but either way, it's never as simple as A=B; you have to see through it all to understand how a person thinks, and once you do that person no longer matters -- it says more about you for reacting to that person than it does about the person in question. I've had to come to terms with that, because it doesn't just apply abstractly nor just in the world of retail. It takes a lot to separate a person's actions from the person themselves and twice as much to separate their motivations for their actions from the actions themselves. This here creates the complexities I speak of and are only made worse when money or even art come into play.
Nobody does things just for the reason they mean anymore. One reason is given, five motivations are at its root. When things do become linear is when people become more afraid than ever because of the fear and threat of added motivation. It's probably why I love "The Dark Knight," which has become my favorite movie ever. The Joker isn't about greed, power or self-preservation, as many other villains are in both reality and artistically. It's about attacking one's moral code and exposing its fatal flaw... to be the complete antagonist to a protagonist and nothing more... just to be the antagonist.
It's an awesome feeling to possess an linear motivation... so much it's scary. That is what I try to strive for.
You see, what I've learned is that when introduced to human motivation, many complexities emerge. These complexities become barriers from which, once they are removed, can the true motivations of people be seen. What those complexities are depend on the person but either way, it's never as simple as A=B; you have to see through it all to understand how a person thinks, and once you do that person no longer matters -- it says more about you for reacting to that person than it does about the person in question. I've had to come to terms with that, because it doesn't just apply abstractly nor just in the world of retail. It takes a lot to separate a person's actions from the person themselves and twice as much to separate their motivations for their actions from the actions themselves. This here creates the complexities I speak of and are only made worse when money or even art come into play.
Nobody does things just for the reason they mean anymore. One reason is given, five motivations are at its root. When things do become linear is when people become more afraid than ever because of the fear and threat of added motivation. It's probably why I love "The Dark Knight," which has become my favorite movie ever. The Joker isn't about greed, power or self-preservation, as many other villains are in both reality and artistically. It's about attacking one's moral code and exposing its fatal flaw... to be the complete antagonist to a protagonist and nothing more... just to be the antagonist.
It's an awesome feeling to possess an linear motivation... so much it's scary. That is what I try to strive for.