My Life as Soap Opera
Last time on Jacqui's life, we see her reduced to a quivering pile of emotions by It's Complicated's sudden, unexpected rejection. Truly, it seemed like the smallest argument turned out to be the straw that broke the camel's back. In tears, Jacqui begins taking the full dose of her anti-depressant once again, and life seems better. The clouds lift, she takes a deep breath, and vows to remain friends with It's Complicated. Jacqui's parents visit to cheer her up, and she has a wonderful day. Let's watch what happens next.
My parents and Grandpa took me out for dinner, and I had a great time. They had to go home to relieve my Aunt and Uncle, who were staying with my Grandma and needed to drive back to CT that night. I attended the One- Act plays and really enjoyed them. I even got to see Beth, Janella, and Laura on my way out. I texted It's Complicated and went to her room for a while. I sat on her floor and we talked. We skirted around the issue for a while; I didn't really want to dwell on it.
She restated that she thought we had miscommunicated; we had talked about it in a text a day or so before. She wanted me to sit on the bed with her, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I sat, perched on the edge. She said,
"I feel like we have to be really clear with each other, we're bad at explaining what we want. I wanted to slow down, I didn't want to stop." I paused, confused.
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, just nothing from the waist down."
"I'm sorry I have to ask you this, but I'm confused. Can I kiss you?"
"Yeah."
"WHAT?!"
I started laughing. Hysterically. I knew if I didn't laugh, I would cry. I had spent the entire week miserable, crying, trying to make myself forget being anything more than just friends with her. And she didn't mean it. She just wanted to slow down, to cut out the sex part of our relationship. I slid off the bed, I was laughing so hard. "Give me a minute." I thought about what she had said. "Ok, let me ask a few questions. Literally from the waist down?"
"You can touch my feet," she said. She seemed to not understand what I meant.
"This is embarrassing, but I want to be clear. What about above your waist, but below your head?"
"Oh, yes."
She explained that this was why she was pressuring me to hang out with her again. She had even started to get mad at me. From her point of view, I was essentially throwing a hissy fit because I couldn't sleep with her. She was wondering, "Is this really all about the sex for you?" But for me, I was trying to separate being at all physically close with her. I needed time, but she didn't know that was what I had interpreted this as. No wonder she didn't understand why I needed to distance myself.
I was now faced with a dilemma. I had spent a week trying to get over her. I knew, rationally, that this constant up and down of us fighting and making up was hell on my emotions. Add steroids into the mix, and I was in serious trouble. It might be easier for me to just cut off our physical relationship entirely, and be platonic friends with her. In my head, I knew this would be best.
But my emotions were begging me to be with her more. She had just said exactly what I wanted to hear; that we weren't over. I decided to go with my heart. Being more clear with each other would eliminate a lot of the fights we got into, and our relationship wasn't all about the sex. I like being close to her physically, but we don't need to do anything.
I stayed in her room until four AM that night. Her roommate had gone home for the night, as had mine. I walked back to my room with a hickey on my chest, and the feel of her skin on my mind.
Tune in next time for more of Jacqui's life.
My parents and Grandpa took me out for dinner, and I had a great time. They had to go home to relieve my Aunt and Uncle, who were staying with my Grandma and needed to drive back to CT that night. I attended the One- Act plays and really enjoyed them. I even got to see Beth, Janella, and Laura on my way out. I texted It's Complicated and went to her room for a while. I sat on her floor and we talked. We skirted around the issue for a while; I didn't really want to dwell on it.
She restated that she thought we had miscommunicated; we had talked about it in a text a day or so before. She wanted me to sit on the bed with her, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I sat, perched on the edge. She said,
"I feel like we have to be really clear with each other, we're bad at explaining what we want. I wanted to slow down, I didn't want to stop." I paused, confused.
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, just nothing from the waist down."
"I'm sorry I have to ask you this, but I'm confused. Can I kiss you?"
"Yeah."
"WHAT?!"
I started laughing. Hysterically. I knew if I didn't laugh, I would cry. I had spent the entire week miserable, crying, trying to make myself forget being anything more than just friends with her. And she didn't mean it. She just wanted to slow down, to cut out the sex part of our relationship. I slid off the bed, I was laughing so hard. "Give me a minute." I thought about what she had said. "Ok, let me ask a few questions. Literally from the waist down?"
"You can touch my feet," she said. She seemed to not understand what I meant.
"This is embarrassing, but I want to be clear. What about above your waist, but below your head?"
"Oh, yes."
She explained that this was why she was pressuring me to hang out with her again. She had even started to get mad at me. From her point of view, I was essentially throwing a hissy fit because I couldn't sleep with her. She was wondering, "Is this really all about the sex for you?" But for me, I was trying to separate being at all physically close with her. I needed time, but she didn't know that was what I had interpreted this as. No wonder she didn't understand why I needed to distance myself.
I was now faced with a dilemma. I had spent a week trying to get over her. I knew, rationally, that this constant up and down of us fighting and making up was hell on my emotions. Add steroids into the mix, and I was in serious trouble. It might be easier for me to just cut off our physical relationship entirely, and be platonic friends with her. In my head, I knew this would be best.
But my emotions were begging me to be with her more. She had just said exactly what I wanted to hear; that we weren't over. I decided to go with my heart. Being more clear with each other would eliminate a lot of the fights we got into, and our relationship wasn't all about the sex. I like being close to her physically, but we don't need to do anything.
I stayed in her room until four AM that night. Her roommate had gone home for the night, as had mine. I walked back to my room with a hickey on my chest, and the feel of her skin on my mind.
Tune in next time for more of Jacqui's life.