Sam.
it wasnt safe to think about you until now. ive kept myself numb. i didnt allow myself to let you enter my mind even for a second... but its time to level with it...its time to let it go, and its time to heal. there had been times when i felt that it was okay for you to treat me the way you did. but it wasnt okay. it was rotten, and it was unfair. it was sworn onto my soul that i should love someone no matter how much pain i felt. that i should love you unconditionally. i swallowed your pain, your hate, your resentment, your anger...and your sex. every night i waited for you. i waited like a dog loyal for you love to come home and say that you loved me.
i gave you everything i had. i gave you my energy, my power, my will. and all you did was take it...you took everything i had. i felt bad for you. i felt like maybe i could heal you. i felt like maybe if i could teach you some things then you would realize that you could do it yourself. i felt like maybe if i tried enough, you would try too.
all you did was speak. you said all the words that would make anyone believe that it was true. you would talk for hours...you would say how beautiful i was, how amazing i was, how much you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me...but you werent there. you were never there.
and now ive been keeping myself numb for hours. since 4pm actually. its now 4am. 4:40 to be exact, and even now your taking my time....its funny how the man you thought that you love is really the man who taught you to be as far as away as you possibly could get.
the dog misses you. but even his precious face couldnt beckon me back to you....
i gave you everything i had. i gave you my energy, my power, my will. and all you did was take it...you took everything i had. i felt bad for you. i felt like maybe i could heal you. i felt like maybe if i could teach you some things then you would realize that you could do it yourself. i felt like maybe if i tried enough, you would try too.
all you did was speak. you said all the words that would make anyone believe that it was true. you would talk for hours...you would say how beautiful i was, how amazing i was, how much you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me...but you werent there. you were never there.
and now ive been keeping myself numb for hours. since 4pm actually. its now 4am. 4:40 to be exact, and even now your taking my time....its funny how the man you thought that you love is really the man who taught you to be as far as away as you possibly could get.
the dog misses you. but even his precious face couldnt beckon me back to you....