holyff, scribbles and rants
HFUIHRFKJWFGGBWG. i write so many things that i will never finish, not because i don't know, but because they're just stupid. okay, so mostly because i also don't know how to finish, tbh. but then again, why did i ever start it in the first place. i'll get like three really good sentences and then i deadpan into little tiny pieces of nothingness. and i shouldn't be writing and i should be reading tale of two cities or something, but this is more fun. anyways, i'll just rant.
I SAW XMEN FIRST CLASS, OMG. james mcavoy .. idek. thank you to his parents who birthed him. yum. and then everyone and everything else was just so fucking awesome, i can't even. my friends said it would suck just because wolverine wasn't in it but i beg to differ. it was, as i said, fucking awesome. and now i want to see the three musketeers bc logan lerman still kind of looks like he is twelve in it and transformers three. LOL, i know shoot me. i gotta be real, i'm so happy that megan fox is out. maybe it's cause i'm not a guy, but i just don't like her or her acting skills - lackthereof, WHATEVER. she's gorgeous, no doubt. but eh, don't fight with me on it. i'm not passionate enough to come up with other reasonable excuses for hating her. the new girl is pretty too - the girl whose name slips my mind, but whatever. i hope she can act.
AND 2PM hands up is prob my track for the summer. it's super western, i'm quite aware. but i'm american and i like it a lot, so don't judge me. even my friends who have NO IDEA WHAT KPOP IS AND DOESN'T KNOW IT EXISTS like it. that's super amazing in my book considering they hate f(x) and whatnot, whatever.
other than that i think i am pretty drama-rama free. i mean, i've pretty much successfully avoided hanging out with friends due to my antisocialness. except that's not true, but, i've been hanging ut with my old friends (i.e. the ones that don't go to my obnoxious ass private school) and it's been good. i've been good. life, for lack of a euphemism, is just fucking good.
back to my first paragraph:
i write nonsense and i think everyone knows it. things for couples that have no basis, and i'm just trying to expand from my usual couples like seokyu, yungseo, sunsun, haesica even - and therefore i go for crack like jongsun (LOL, wtf) jonghyun/sunny, jonghyun/sojin, sojin/the world, and anyone else there is. i've also really wanted to try and write more beast, secret, t-ara, AFTER SCHOOL AND MBLAQ, bghslb.
also, congrats junhyung and hara. i hope this inspires other idols to date publicly. (like jooyeon and g.o for instance /shot.)
1. this is just sojin and jonghyun, because i really like them. and this was supposed to be one of those random, slice of life pieces and instead it turned into this:
Jonghyun, due to a lack of a euphemism and necessity for one, is a loner. He always has been and most likely always will be - with the exception of the acoustic guitar slung around his frail chest and hung loosely on his back. But that was all he needed, honestly. Friends came and go and languages would change but music was universal. Therefore, since Jonghyun played music, he played universal. It sounds better when he just puts it in the terms of he played the universe - because he did, in that weird, metaphorical sense.
He thinks this for a long time: the accessories called words, the attention whores called people, and all in all, hand in hand, it was boring.
and that's the jonghyun part because i don't know how sojin got into this, but she does eventually in this little bit:
Sojin looks at him with slight disdain, her eyes looking into the soul, or his lack thereof one, but she still can't seem to see or read anything into it. If he's trying to ask her out on a date beneath all that constant stammering and weird hand motions, he is failing. Instead, she reads some kind of insult to her intellectual capacity, which isn't the case. She'll just pretend it is.
"I'm not stupid."
"What!? I never said you were."
"But I can tell, the way you look at everyone in our sociology class. You're not judgmental, only factual. I get that. You think that girls who need to act cute for a living is stupid - I get that too. But it is a living and it makes money and sometimes, girls actually just are cute and they can't help it. You're pretentious."
"What!?" Blasphemy. "I am not pretentious! I am the simplest guy out there - you don't even try and act cute. You're majoring in mechanical engineering for God's sake."
"Oh, so I'm not cute?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then what are you trying to say Jonghyun? You're horrible with words, or maybe they're just horrible with you. I don't know, you're better off being quiet - "
"Will you go out with me?"
Sojin stares before she realizes she isn't blinking. So she does so, her mouth opening to form a two letter word. Instead, it forms a three -
"Why?"
and that's the end of that. i don't know. sojin to me is really dry and hates acting cute but she does it anyways. she's super mature as seen from bouquet but when she's a dork, she's a dork. and i always thought jonghyun would like older women, since he probably doesn't "baby" girls a lot. i don't know if that makes sense, but to me it does. he likes a girl who would take care of herself. sojin doesn't talk a lot, but when she does she's really straightforward too. i think they'd have nice dynamics. then again, my interpretation of sojin could be totally wrong so .. yeah. awkward.
2. blahblahblahblah, this is g.o and jooyeon after school gen. because i obviously miss my otp and i want other people to write them. please. also, BEKAH, Y R U LEAVING!? /sob. no, seriously, why? after school isn't going to be the same without bekah, the badass hawaiin rapper, and a person with curves. i mean, really. but i guess it makes sense because one of the members had to graduate eventually and i think bekah kind of wanted to leave - or, well, i would understand why she would want to. but i want her to stay, but it's not like she'd listen to me. uggghehgjsahge. also, LOL at the fact that app. jooyeon got put into the sexy sub group. i mean, come on. i love her .. but .. lmfao <3
JOOYEON AND BEKAH WERE ROOMMATES IN PLAYGURLZ. but, jooyeon app doesn't even live in the dorm, but for fic purposes, let's pretend she does.
"Who am I going to play wii with now?" Jooyeon asks suddenly in the silence. Bekah is packing away her stuff into each and every box and suddenly, the room feels bigger. Lonelier, almost. Bekah casts a glance over her shoulder with a smile, bright and wide, but doesn't really give a reply. Jooyeon knows that Bekah has wanted to go home for awhile. She checked youtube once and recent searches consisted of hula dancing and shit like that. She's always known. Bekah shoves things into her boxes without care and Jooyeon can only afford to watch. She's awkward and scared and sad above all things because she knows nothing could make her stay.
She stands up from the huge teddy bear on the floor and hugs the girl from behind.
She's not as big as everyone says she is - fuck all those comments about Bekah being fat online because they're not true. Instead, Jooyeon just feels this tiny girl who stops packing and lets out a shudder of tears because she's so happy to be leaving that it hurts.
"I'll send you stuff from America, okay?" Bekah says with a lame attempt at smiling against, wiping away her running eyeliner. Jooyeon's eyes are dry but her lip is quivering.
"It's not like I could read it if it was in english, anyways," Jooyeon laments with a sheepish smile. She gets it, she really does. Things are wearing down thin for the original members: she's a folding screen now a days. And no matter how much she loves Uee, Nana, Raina, Eyoung, and Lizzy - it just isn't the same, and it probably never will be. After School was only a chapter for Bekah, Jooyeon reasons, the girl is onto what she really wanted in the first place. She'll be happy.
"Don't stop rapping, okay? Or singing, because even your voice is better than mine," Jooyeon nudges her. Bekah nods and just seals off the last box with tape.
"Hey, are you okay?" Byunghee asks over the phone. Jooyeon can barely hear him over her own heavy breathing and tears, the palm of her hand placed over her phone just so that he cannot hear her. But he can, he can hear all of it, and his voice echoes through the speaker again.
"Jooyeon, please - talk to me. Do you need me to come over?"
She only shakes her head in a no, as if he can hear her. She places her forearm over her eyes and just keeps the phone lying on the pillow beside her.
"Jooyeon -" Disconnect.
angst angst angst.
3. super power au nonsense. i have ALWAYS wanted to try something to this dynamic, but i never have and i wouldn't even know who i would write it with, you know? but watching x-men only kind of inspired me, and i didn't know who to choose. therefore, i only wrote like .. seven sentences. lmfao, i have failed. i am sorry.
If Krystal didn't have the ability to read minds, she would probably be a nicer person. She wouldn't know that half of her high school thought she was a conniving bitch or that they liked her older sister better. But it was whatever, because it was better than lies. Besides, Krystal had never strove for being nice, therefore, she always told the truth. Lying was never said to be nice, either.
And then she meets someone like Victoria, who can stretch and bend like elastic, and she knows someone named Luna who has sonic scream, and she is related to Sulli who can run faster than you with a blink of an eye. But it's only when she meets Amber, a girl who can kill you with one touch, that she realizes she isn't alone.
4. YONGSEOKYU. so much for expanding my couples.anyways, i don't know where this was going or if it even makes sense. have fun.
Is this what it feels like? To be in love?
It's an indistinguishable day in June. The sun is not brighter, nor is the sky any bluer, but the air seems fresh and the world seems happy in the way that it can engulf a person into thinking that everything will be alright. Ignorance is strength, Seohyun had read somewhere. Maybe one of those countless amount of books that she had stored away in her attic when she came to realize that words of love could never be better than the real thing. Yonghwa's black hair flies around loosely in the wind and she reaches out to fix it, almost as if it were instinct. She wonders if she has ever felt like this before: lungs swelling, the inside of her stomach pinching - the endearing emotions that put a person on a high, even if it only is for a little awhile. She remembers comparing it to a dandelion once, on a show they were on. But maybe that was just a dream - because even those white seeds fly away.
And she realizes she has been here before with a different person, a different love entirely. His palms were wider, his smile was less seen. Seohyun squints up at the sky, trying to make out a face, a name, a feeling. It comes, but just as quickly, it leaves. It leaves her cold and sad, but she squeezes Yonghwa's hand to remind her that she has something new. Not necessarily better, but new.
You won't leave me, right? She asks quietly.
No, he says in a wistful manner, Not like he did. Never.
Forever, Seohyun reasons, is simply relative.
/
AND I AM DONE. i am sorry i have taken up about .. twenty minutes of your time. man, i need to start learning how to actually stick to ideas. meh.
I SAW XMEN FIRST CLASS, OMG. james mcavoy .. idek. thank you to his parents who birthed him. yum. and then everyone and everything else was just so fucking awesome, i can't even. my friends said it would suck just because wolverine wasn't in it but i beg to differ. it was, as i said, fucking awesome. and now i want to see the three musketeers bc logan lerman still kind of looks like he is twelve in it and transformers three. LOL, i know shoot me. i gotta be real, i'm so happy that megan fox is out. maybe it's cause i'm not a guy, but i just don't like her or her acting skills - lackthereof, WHATEVER. she's gorgeous, no doubt. but eh, don't fight with me on it. i'm not passionate enough to come up with other reasonable excuses for hating her. the new girl is pretty too - the girl whose name slips my mind, but whatever. i hope she can act.
AND 2PM hands up is prob my track for the summer. it's super western, i'm quite aware. but i'm american and i like it a lot, so don't judge me. even my friends who have NO IDEA WHAT KPOP IS AND DOESN'T KNOW IT EXISTS like it. that's super amazing in my book considering they hate f(x) and whatnot, whatever.
other than that i think i am pretty drama-rama free. i mean, i've pretty much successfully avoided hanging out with friends due to my antisocialness. except that's not true, but, i've been hanging ut with my old friends (i.e. the ones that don't go to my obnoxious ass private school) and it's been good. i've been good. life, for lack of a euphemism, is just fucking good.
back to my first paragraph:
i write nonsense and i think everyone knows it. things for couples that have no basis, and i'm just trying to expand from my usual couples like seokyu, yungseo, sunsun, haesica even - and therefore i go for crack like jongsun (LOL, wtf) jonghyun/sunny, jonghyun/sojin, sojin/the world, and anyone else there is. i've also really wanted to try and write more beast, secret, t-ara, AFTER SCHOOL AND MBLAQ, bghslb.
also, congrats junhyung and hara. i hope this inspires other idols to date publicly. (like jooyeon and g.o for instance /shot.)
1. this is just sojin and jonghyun, because i really like them. and this was supposed to be one of those random, slice of life pieces and instead it turned into this:
Jonghyun, due to a lack of a euphemism and necessity for one, is a loner. He always has been and most likely always will be - with the exception of the acoustic guitar slung around his frail chest and hung loosely on his back. But that was all he needed, honestly. Friends came and go and languages would change but music was universal. Therefore, since Jonghyun played music, he played universal. It sounds better when he just puts it in the terms of he played the universe - because he did, in that weird, metaphorical sense.
He thinks this for a long time: the accessories called words, the attention whores called people, and all in all, hand in hand, it was boring.
and that's the jonghyun part because i don't know how sojin got into this, but she does eventually in this little bit:
Sojin looks at him with slight disdain, her eyes looking into the soul, or his lack thereof one, but she still can't seem to see or read anything into it. If he's trying to ask her out on a date beneath all that constant stammering and weird hand motions, he is failing. Instead, she reads some kind of insult to her intellectual capacity, which isn't the case. She'll just pretend it is.
"I'm not stupid."
"What!? I never said you were."
"But I can tell, the way you look at everyone in our sociology class. You're not judgmental, only factual. I get that. You think that girls who need to act cute for a living is stupid - I get that too. But it is a living and it makes money and sometimes, girls actually just are cute and they can't help it. You're pretentious."
"What!?" Blasphemy. "I am not pretentious! I am the simplest guy out there - you don't even try and act cute. You're majoring in mechanical engineering for God's sake."
"Oh, so I'm not cute?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then what are you trying to say Jonghyun? You're horrible with words, or maybe they're just horrible with you. I don't know, you're better off being quiet - "
"Will you go out with me?"
Sojin stares before she realizes she isn't blinking. So she does so, her mouth opening to form a two letter word. Instead, it forms a three -
"Why?"
and that's the end of that. i don't know. sojin to me is really dry and hates acting cute but she does it anyways. she's super mature as seen from bouquet but when she's a dork, she's a dork. and i always thought jonghyun would like older women, since he probably doesn't "baby" girls a lot. i don't know if that makes sense, but to me it does. he likes a girl who would take care of herself. sojin doesn't talk a lot, but when she does she's really straightforward too. i think they'd have nice dynamics. then again, my interpretation of sojin could be totally wrong so .. yeah. awkward.
2. blahblahblahblah, this is g.o and jooyeon after school gen. because i obviously miss my otp and i want other people to write them. please. also, BEKAH, Y R U LEAVING!? /sob. no, seriously, why? after school isn't going to be the same without bekah, the badass hawaiin rapper, and a person with curves. i mean, really. but i guess it makes sense because one of the members had to graduate eventually and i think bekah kind of wanted to leave - or, well, i would understand why she would want to. but i want her to stay, but it's not like she'd listen to me. uggghehgjsahge. also, LOL at the fact that app. jooyeon got put into the sexy sub group. i mean, come on. i love her .. but .. lmfao <3
JOOYEON AND BEKAH WERE ROOMMATES IN PLAYGURLZ. but, jooyeon app doesn't even live in the dorm, but for fic purposes, let's pretend she does.
"Who am I going to play wii with now?" Jooyeon asks suddenly in the silence. Bekah is packing away her stuff into each and every box and suddenly, the room feels bigger. Lonelier, almost. Bekah casts a glance over her shoulder with a smile, bright and wide, but doesn't really give a reply. Jooyeon knows that Bekah has wanted to go home for awhile. She checked youtube once and recent searches consisted of hula dancing and shit like that. She's always known. Bekah shoves things into her boxes without care and Jooyeon can only afford to watch. She's awkward and scared and sad above all things because she knows nothing could make her stay.
She stands up from the huge teddy bear on the floor and hugs the girl from behind.
She's not as big as everyone says she is - fuck all those comments about Bekah being fat online because they're not true. Instead, Jooyeon just feels this tiny girl who stops packing and lets out a shudder of tears because she's so happy to be leaving that it hurts.
"I'll send you stuff from America, okay?" Bekah says with a lame attempt at smiling against, wiping away her running eyeliner. Jooyeon's eyes are dry but her lip is quivering.
"It's not like I could read it if it was in english, anyways," Jooyeon laments with a sheepish smile. She gets it, she really does. Things are wearing down thin for the original members: she's a folding screen now a days. And no matter how much she loves Uee, Nana, Raina, Eyoung, and Lizzy - it just isn't the same, and it probably never will be. After School was only a chapter for Bekah, Jooyeon reasons, the girl is onto what she really wanted in the first place. She'll be happy.
"Don't stop rapping, okay? Or singing, because even your voice is better than mine," Jooyeon nudges her. Bekah nods and just seals off the last box with tape.
"Hey, are you okay?" Byunghee asks over the phone. Jooyeon can barely hear him over her own heavy breathing and tears, the palm of her hand placed over her phone just so that he cannot hear her. But he can, he can hear all of it, and his voice echoes through the speaker again.
"Jooyeon, please - talk to me. Do you need me to come over?"
She only shakes her head in a no, as if he can hear her. She places her forearm over her eyes and just keeps the phone lying on the pillow beside her.
"Jooyeon -" Disconnect.
angst angst angst.
3. super power au nonsense. i have ALWAYS wanted to try something to this dynamic, but i never have and i wouldn't even know who i would write it with, you know? but watching x-men only kind of inspired me, and i didn't know who to choose. therefore, i only wrote like .. seven sentences. lmfao, i have failed. i am sorry.
If Krystal didn't have the ability to read minds, she would probably be a nicer person. She wouldn't know that half of her high school thought she was a conniving bitch or that they liked her older sister better. But it was whatever, because it was better than lies. Besides, Krystal had never strove for being nice, therefore, she always told the truth. Lying was never said to be nice, either.
And then she meets someone like Victoria, who can stretch and bend like elastic, and she knows someone named Luna who has sonic scream, and she is related to Sulli who can run faster than you with a blink of an eye. But it's only when she meets Amber, a girl who can kill you with one touch, that she realizes she isn't alone.
4. YONGSEOKYU. so much for expanding my couples.anyways, i don't know where this was going or if it even makes sense. have fun.
Is this what it feels like? To be in love?
It's an indistinguishable day in June. The sun is not brighter, nor is the sky any bluer, but the air seems fresh and the world seems happy in the way that it can engulf a person into thinking that everything will be alright. Ignorance is strength, Seohyun had read somewhere. Maybe one of those countless amount of books that she had stored away in her attic when she came to realize that words of love could never be better than the real thing. Yonghwa's black hair flies around loosely in the wind and she reaches out to fix it, almost as if it were instinct. She wonders if she has ever felt like this before: lungs swelling, the inside of her stomach pinching - the endearing emotions that put a person on a high, even if it only is for a little awhile. She remembers comparing it to a dandelion once, on a show they were on. But maybe that was just a dream - because even those white seeds fly away.
And she realizes she has been here before with a different person, a different love entirely. His palms were wider, his smile was less seen. Seohyun squints up at the sky, trying to make out a face, a name, a feeling. It comes, but just as quickly, it leaves. It leaves her cold and sad, but she squeezes Yonghwa's hand to remind her that she has something new. Not necessarily better, but new.
You won't leave me, right? She asks quietly.
No, he says in a wistful manner, Not like he did. Never.
Forever, Seohyun reasons, is simply relative.
/
AND I AM DONE. i am sorry i have taken up about .. twenty minutes of your time. man, i need to start learning how to actually stick to ideas. meh.