(no subject)
It's funny how we can hold someones opinion of us so high, even though we know that they are liars. Even if we ask the question that we want to ask, we know they are still going to tell us an answer that isn't true.
Why do I insist on having this friendship with you that I hold close to my heart, when it's obvious that you lie. Not necessarily about big things.. just about things that matter to me. I have a feeling you've started using coke again. Not regularly, but dabbling, if you will. Mainly by the people you surround yourself with. I'm in no way mad at you for this. You're your own person and are perfectly capable of your own decisions... but I, being your friend, know what road this led you down before. I only hope this doesn't become a habit. You've also started drinking more frequently.. I'm not here to preach. I just hope you know what you're doing and have everything under control.
But all this isn't what I was referring to in my original statement. It's been a couple weeks since you told me you were hanging out with someone new. Which is great. I'm happy for you. I'm glad that we can be friends and share these kinds of things with each other... but did you happen to remember all the reasons you told me you couldn't date me, only two months earlier? You remember, right? You have no time to put effort into a relationship because of school (which I can completely relate too, although, I always managed to make time for you). You also said how you were planning on moving out of the country once you were done with school next year, so why start something when you know you're leaving. And most importantly, you told me you were still reeling from the sudden departure of your ex, only 8 months earlier, and you had about another 6 months before you felt you would be able to be ready for another relationship (I'll leave the specifics out).
Now, based on what you told me about this new girl, only two days after you said you two were hanging out, it sounds like she's already causing headaches for you. So, what is it? What is the real reason? Why after 6 months was I not "girlfriend material?" Why is this one, whom you've already had problems with, a better match? These questions have been on repeat in my head ever since you told me about her. Obviously the aforementioned reasons ring a bit untrue. It sounds like you pretty much pushed all three aside in a matter of weeks. Why couldn't you have just been honest? As far as I know, nothing has changed, except maybe you have even less free time now because of school, then you did when we were "hanging out." I've debated emailing you about this. Just asking for some clarity, and maybe a little knock to my self esteem. But, I can't imagine what you would tell me would be anything near the truth... and if it is, it's probably something I really shouldn't hear anyway.
It's been almost two weeks since I've last heard from you.. Yet, I still manage to waste time writing about you.
Why do I insist on having this friendship with you that I hold close to my heart, when it's obvious that you lie. Not necessarily about big things.. just about things that matter to me. I have a feeling you've started using coke again. Not regularly, but dabbling, if you will. Mainly by the people you surround yourself with. I'm in no way mad at you for this. You're your own person and are perfectly capable of your own decisions... but I, being your friend, know what road this led you down before. I only hope this doesn't become a habit. You've also started drinking more frequently.. I'm not here to preach. I just hope you know what you're doing and have everything under control.
But all this isn't what I was referring to in my original statement. It's been a couple weeks since you told me you were hanging out with someone new. Which is great. I'm happy for you. I'm glad that we can be friends and share these kinds of things with each other... but did you happen to remember all the reasons you told me you couldn't date me, only two months earlier? You remember, right? You have no time to put effort into a relationship because of school (which I can completely relate too, although, I always managed to make time for you). You also said how you were planning on moving out of the country once you were done with school next year, so why start something when you know you're leaving. And most importantly, you told me you were still reeling from the sudden departure of your ex, only 8 months earlier, and you had about another 6 months before you felt you would be able to be ready for another relationship (I'll leave the specifics out).
Now, based on what you told me about this new girl, only two days after you said you two were hanging out, it sounds like she's already causing headaches for you. So, what is it? What is the real reason? Why after 6 months was I not "girlfriend material?" Why is this one, whom you've already had problems with, a better match? These questions have been on repeat in my head ever since you told me about her. Obviously the aforementioned reasons ring a bit untrue. It sounds like you pretty much pushed all three aside in a matter of weeks. Why couldn't you have just been honest? As far as I know, nothing has changed, except maybe you have even less free time now because of school, then you did when we were "hanging out." I've debated emailing you about this. Just asking for some clarity, and maybe a little knock to my self esteem. But, I can't imagine what you would tell me would be anything near the truth... and if it is, it's probably something I really shouldn't hear anyway.
It's been almost two weeks since I've last heard from you.. Yet, I still manage to waste time writing about you.