Freedom, freedom, freedom! OI!
Happy Freedom Day!
I suppose I should update about the last two days.
Let's see, on Monday I went over to Grandma's to help clean. I helped move furniture so we could pull up the carpeting, threw out a lot of stuff, and went through the last of the stuff. Ben and I were going through some stuff outside by the trashcans so we can throw them out and talked a bit out there. I have super sensitive skin and if the sun is strong enough, I can get a burn by only being out a few minutes! Well yeah, I got a burn. Not a bad one, you can't see the burn, but I can feel it even today.
Well the realtor lady came by to talk to my aunt so Ben and I headed out front to sit (me in the shade, him in the sun to get his tan heh). We just talked for about 40 minutes out there on various things. I told him about a health concern I have going on and how the doctors can't see me until the second week of August. He was pissed about that, but I'll be going in tomorrow to urgent care (you show up and wait for a turn basically). I need this looked at, it's alarming me. I'll post about it after I go I guess.
After awhile we got back to work and my uncle's sister Helen came by. They were going to go out to eat a bit later but for now we still cleaned and organized. My Grandmother had no AC in the house and the hookup ones that were on the windows were taken down. So all we had for a source of coolness were open windows and there wasn't a breeze, so it didn't do any good. It was so horribly humid in that house! I was dripping, it was gross hehe. After we all finished for the day I washed my face and joined Ben on the couch. He said "You look exhausted!" and let me use him as my pillow. I was worried I'd make him hot since my face was actually giving off massive heat (I put my hand an inch over my face and felt the heat!). He was alright so I cuddled up with him, it was nice.
Then they had to go out to dinner with Helen so I headed over to my mom's work to pick her up. I was so flipping exhausted, sore (still sore actually), and kinda down so we headed to Islands so I could have some comfort food and a mai tai. I needed it so badly. I've cut back on alcohol (not a heavy drinker, it's because of the empty calories and because it's fattening), and I've cut down on red meat and fries. Well I needed it then so I got myself a burger and the wonderful Island fries.
Oh, that morning I was actually planning on not going. I woke up feeling really crappy, cried in bed. At the last minute I changed my mind but I felt wretched. Probably the reason I did end up going was because I knew I could talk to Ben about what was happening. I did and he listened. Part of it was I felt like nobody loved me. I knew that wasn't true but still, I felt that way. Ben completely debunked that notion.
Alright, so yesterday. Yesterday I stayed home while mom went to work. They were going to shopping and I had to see my therapist (old one) for a goodbye session so I couldn't go with them. Ben wanted me to but they ended up having to finish up in the house and only got to like...four stores.
Well Mom and I went to see Steve. He didn't guilt me but I felt guilty anyway. I might go back to him if a new therapist doesn't work out, I don't know. We'll see. I have my appointment with the new on at the end of July...wait, I just realized my appointment is on Dan's birthday! Heh, complete random moment there.
After that we headed to Barnes & Noble which was just re-opened. They closed it because they were constructing a new movie theater over there. The theater and the book store is open now, I missed B&W!!! If I wanted to go to B&N I'd have to go to Hollywood or Santa Monica, so I settled for the Borders in Westwood. I'm so happy B&N is open now, I love that place!
Picked up a few books and then we headed to Grandma's. The relator was coming back so we met my family there. I was in the den reading a new book and didn't hear them come in. I got kinda hugged from behind, awkward kinda since I was sitting down. Oh well, he joined me on the couch and we used each other as pillows that time since we were so drained.
After all that was taken care of we headed to Factors (realtor). I was suddenly hit with that crappy feeling and it took everything for me not to burst into tears right there in the restaurant. I had soup and a bagel, so tasty. Mom asked why I didn't order more and I said I wasn't that hungry. She persisted and I started crying a little. Nobody could tell (I think). After I finished I went around the booth and sat down next to mom, so I was across from Ben. I just couldn't bring myself to be a part of the conversation and was using my hair to shield my face since I was crying a little. Somebody asked me something and I answered really softly and mom said "oh, she's getting emotional right now". Not in a mean way, just stating the fact. I was a bit embarrassed. Ben got up and went to sit down next to me. Usually, he'd pull me to him and he'd cuddle with me but we were in public so he just put his arm around me and rubbed my back. After a few minutes my aunt made him move so she could do the same thing. Ben took my hand from across the table, so I still had physical contact with him. I felt a bit better so I started playing with his hand, hehe. He has soft hands for a guy and I told him so. His hand was very limp, it amused me how limp his arm was so I told him he was pliable. For some reason that cracked him and his mother up. *shrugs*
He then started stroking the back of my hand, saying I had such soft hands. I was watching him do that for a few minutes and asked "why are you petting me? I don't mind but..um, why?". He dropped my hand like it burned him xD
I grabbed his back, didn't want that to become awkward hehe.
After that we all headed outside to go our separate directions but we took a couple of photos. I find that even if you take a photo looking down on me, if somebody in the photo isn't the person to take the photo, I look either bad or not the best. My uncle took the photos and he's a tall guy so I thought it'd be alright. The photos aren't bad but I still prefer the last batch. Well, we'll take more tomorrow so I'll have better ones! I'll still post them though. It's funny Ben and I wore the exact same outfit as last time and didn't know it! We met up and saw each other, Green Shirt Twins again! xD
Today they're in Malibu visiting friends up there and hanging out at the beach and whatever. Because of the hideous traffic, they'll stay the night and come back tomorrow. We'll get together sometime tomorrow before their flight and then I'll see them probably on the 10th (depends on how fast we drive up haha).
And Sunday is the US premiere *bounce*. I think I might have to camp out, some fans camped out in London. We'll drive by the night before and see what it looks like. What should I take to get signed!? I'm taking both cameras, a book (for the wait), a bottle of water, etc. I'm going to meet some people I've friended here on LJ but never met (wendymalfoy for example). It'll be nice.
Dan will be on Leno the next day but we have to leave so I can't try to get myself a ticket. I'll watch it that night. Then I'll watch him on Conan up in Eugene.
Alright, pictures!
Ben loves this photo so I'll be printing him a copy
Spencer: OMGWTFBBQ!??!?
My brother saw this photo and asked if I ever considered a nose job...O.o
I like my nose, it's small and perky and cute so hell no to his question. I wasn't upset, I was just kinda weirded out hehe
We look like we're related by blood! We're all adopted and we like to joke that we actually are related by blood. We aren't, but whatever. They're still my family!
Haha, the red eye tool was being horrible so I couldn't get the demon out of Dayna ;p
My uncle gave us no warning, hence my expression. Ben gets in front of a camera and it's all smiles so no worries for him! My hair isn't so shiny because I washed my hair that day. I need a few days for the natural oils to come back, so tomorrow's photos will have my shiny shiny hair that I love so much (like the Spencer shots).
Much better photos of us to come tomorrow night :3 I also took photos of Grandma's house for memories since it's most likely going to be torn down when it's bought. That makes me so sad :(
So I noticed that whenever Ben is down here, I really crave the physical affection he gives me. I get along with my mother but we don't cuddle and my brother? Pfft! I don't have any friends my age here in L.A., my two best friends live out of state (Arizona and Oregon). I used to hate physical affection but now I'm like a starving man when it comes to it and I really soak it up when Ben gets down here. My aunt will hug me too sometimes but it's usually if I'm upset or a goodbye hug, which is alright. I'm just glad Ben and I are so close where I don't have to feel strange hugging him. My brother still thinks it's weird. Whatever :P
I suppose I should update about the last two days.
Let's see, on Monday I went over to Grandma's to help clean. I helped move furniture so we could pull up the carpeting, threw out a lot of stuff, and went through the last of the stuff. Ben and I were going through some stuff outside by the trashcans so we can throw them out and talked a bit out there. I have super sensitive skin and if the sun is strong enough, I can get a burn by only being out a few minutes! Well yeah, I got a burn. Not a bad one, you can't see the burn, but I can feel it even today.
Well the realtor lady came by to talk to my aunt so Ben and I headed out front to sit (me in the shade, him in the sun to get his tan heh). We just talked for about 40 minutes out there on various things. I told him about a health concern I have going on and how the doctors can't see me until the second week of August. He was pissed about that, but I'll be going in tomorrow to urgent care (you show up and wait for a turn basically). I need this looked at, it's alarming me. I'll post about it after I go I guess.
After awhile we got back to work and my uncle's sister Helen came by. They were going to go out to eat a bit later but for now we still cleaned and organized. My Grandmother had no AC in the house and the hookup ones that were on the windows were taken down. So all we had for a source of coolness were open windows and there wasn't a breeze, so it didn't do any good. It was so horribly humid in that house! I was dripping, it was gross hehe. After we all finished for the day I washed my face and joined Ben on the couch. He said "You look exhausted!" and let me use him as my pillow. I was worried I'd make him hot since my face was actually giving off massive heat (I put my hand an inch over my face and felt the heat!). He was alright so I cuddled up with him, it was nice.
Then they had to go out to dinner with Helen so I headed over to my mom's work to pick her up. I was so flipping exhausted, sore (still sore actually), and kinda down so we headed to Islands so I could have some comfort food and a mai tai. I needed it so badly. I've cut back on alcohol (not a heavy drinker, it's because of the empty calories and because it's fattening), and I've cut down on red meat and fries. Well I needed it then so I got myself a burger and the wonderful Island fries.
Oh, that morning I was actually planning on not going. I woke up feeling really crappy, cried in bed. At the last minute I changed my mind but I felt wretched. Probably the reason I did end up going was because I knew I could talk to Ben about what was happening. I did and he listened. Part of it was I felt like nobody loved me. I knew that wasn't true but still, I felt that way. Ben completely debunked that notion.
Alright, so yesterday. Yesterday I stayed home while mom went to work. They were going to shopping and I had to see my therapist (old one) for a goodbye session so I couldn't go with them. Ben wanted me to but they ended up having to finish up in the house and only got to like...four stores.
Well Mom and I went to see Steve. He didn't guilt me but I felt guilty anyway. I might go back to him if a new therapist doesn't work out, I don't know. We'll see. I have my appointment with the new on at the end of July...wait, I just realized my appointment is on Dan's birthday! Heh, complete random moment there.
After that we headed to Barnes & Noble which was just re-opened. They closed it because they were constructing a new movie theater over there. The theater and the book store is open now, I missed B&W!!! If I wanted to go to B&N I'd have to go to Hollywood or Santa Monica, so I settled for the Borders in Westwood. I'm so happy B&N is open now, I love that place!
Picked up a few books and then we headed to Grandma's. The relator was coming back so we met my family there. I was in the den reading a new book and didn't hear them come in. I got kinda hugged from behind, awkward kinda since I was sitting down. Oh well, he joined me on the couch and we used each other as pillows that time since we were so drained.
After all that was taken care of we headed to Factors (realtor). I was suddenly hit with that crappy feeling and it took everything for me not to burst into tears right there in the restaurant. I had soup and a bagel, so tasty. Mom asked why I didn't order more and I said I wasn't that hungry. She persisted and I started crying a little. Nobody could tell (I think). After I finished I went around the booth and sat down next to mom, so I was across from Ben. I just couldn't bring myself to be a part of the conversation and was using my hair to shield my face since I was crying a little. Somebody asked me something and I answered really softly and mom said "oh, she's getting emotional right now". Not in a mean way, just stating the fact. I was a bit embarrassed. Ben got up and went to sit down next to me. Usually, he'd pull me to him and he'd cuddle with me but we were in public so he just put his arm around me and rubbed my back. After a few minutes my aunt made him move so she could do the same thing. Ben took my hand from across the table, so I still had physical contact with him. I felt a bit better so I started playing with his hand, hehe. He has soft hands for a guy and I told him so. His hand was very limp, it amused me how limp his arm was so I told him he was pliable. For some reason that cracked him and his mother up. *shrugs*
He then started stroking the back of my hand, saying I had such soft hands. I was watching him do that for a few minutes and asked "why are you petting me? I don't mind but..um, why?". He dropped my hand like it burned him xD
I grabbed his back, didn't want that to become awkward hehe.
After that we all headed outside to go our separate directions but we took a couple of photos. I find that even if you take a photo looking down on me, if somebody in the photo isn't the person to take the photo, I look either bad or not the best. My uncle took the photos and he's a tall guy so I thought it'd be alright. The photos aren't bad but I still prefer the last batch. Well, we'll take more tomorrow so I'll have better ones! I'll still post them though. It's funny Ben and I wore the exact same outfit as last time and didn't know it! We met up and saw each other, Green Shirt Twins again! xD
Today they're in Malibu visiting friends up there and hanging out at the beach and whatever. Because of the hideous traffic, they'll stay the night and come back tomorrow. We'll get together sometime tomorrow before their flight and then I'll see them probably on the 10th (depends on how fast we drive up haha).
And Sunday is the US premiere *bounce*. I think I might have to camp out, some fans camped out in London. We'll drive by the night before and see what it looks like. What should I take to get signed!? I'm taking both cameras, a book (for the wait), a bottle of water, etc. I'm going to meet some people I've friended here on LJ but never met (wendymalfoy for example). It'll be nice.
Dan will be on Leno the next day but we have to leave so I can't try to get myself a ticket. I'll watch it that night. Then I'll watch him on Conan up in Eugene.
Alright, pictures!
Ben loves this photo so I'll be printing him a copy
Spencer: OMGWTFBBQ!??!?
My brother saw this photo and asked if I ever considered a nose job...O.o
I like my nose, it's small and perky and cute so hell no to his question. I wasn't upset, I was just kinda weirded out hehe
We look like we're related by blood! We're all adopted and we like to joke that we actually are related by blood. We aren't, but whatever. They're still my family!
Haha, the red eye tool was being horrible so I couldn't get the demon out of Dayna ;p
My uncle gave us no warning, hence my expression. Ben gets in front of a camera and it's all smiles so no worries for him! My hair isn't so shiny because I washed my hair that day. I need a few days for the natural oils to come back, so tomorrow's photos will have my shiny shiny hair that I love so much (like the Spencer shots).
Much better photos of us to come tomorrow night :3 I also took photos of Grandma's house for memories since it's most likely going to be torn down when it's bought. That makes me so sad :(
So I noticed that whenever Ben is down here, I really crave the physical affection he gives me. I get along with my mother but we don't cuddle and my brother? Pfft! I don't have any friends my age here in L.A., my two best friends live out of state (Arizona and Oregon). I used to hate physical affection but now I'm like a starving man when it comes to it and I really soak it up when Ben gets down here. My aunt will hug me too sometimes but it's usually if I'm upset or a goodbye hug, which is alright. I'm just glad Ben and I are so close where I don't have to feel strange hugging him. My brother still thinks it's weird. Whatever :P