If only
At one point, I had life handed to me on a silver platter. I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted and it was all paid for. Now, I don't have that luxury and I've not had that luxury in some time, but I'm really starting to feel the effects of it right now.
I'd like to graduate next spring or at the end of next summer. The only way to do that is to take 3 classes this summer. I could take them all. They're all offered in Summer A. However, I have a new car payment, high insurance payment, and I would have to pay for those classes and books. The classes would be about $1000 and the books another $300 ish unless I could buy them off a friend, which I would prefer.
So I'm going to be down in the dumps about not getting to take these classes now, even though I technically am registered...because I like theoretical situations. I mean, I want my summer vacation break; however, I need to graduate and soon. I'm so sick of school right now. I'm fed up with being behind what I should be in my life. I want a job, a home, a family. And I know that I want these after I am holding my B.S. in my hands. I don't know if I want to leave Florida, but NYC is looking like a good opportunity as well.
I hate being held back by situations that I've created. And I've created each of these various situations. I'm just wondering if there's hope sometimes, and I guess there always is, but I feel like I'm drowning and I just want air (figuratively and literally...this cold sucks!). I could do this. I could be all that I can be and all of that mumbo jumbo, but I feel like I'm not living up to the expectations that my family had for me in the beginning. I mean, I don't usually care what other people think, but I'm 22 years old and I'm still working on my first B.S. degree. I'll be 23 when I graduate, whether that's next spring, summer, or fall. But it blows my mind that if I do, in fact, graduate in the fall, then people that I went to high school with will be almost finished with their masters degrees. I'll only have my B.S. and maybe a job, somewhere. That angers me because I should be the one with the almost masters degree instead of with the B.S. Grrrrr!
Why do I have to feel so stupid? Am I really as stupid as I feel? I wish I could make sense to myself because I blow my mind. Like 15-16 classes stand between me and my degree: 3 or 4 English classes, 2 comp classes, 6 Ad classes, 1 law class, 3 pertaining-to-ad classes. All I need is 3 of my 6 ad classes this summer so then I could take the next 2 in the fall and the last one in the spring. That's all I need...and then to overfill my schedule with classes next fall and spring...but there's always next summer since I can take classes then so long as it's not my Ad campaign class which isn't offered in the summer, which is why I need the next 3 ad classes in my sequence. I could graduate at the end of summer A. Then I could get some real full-time job that isn't telemarketing and work. And pay off student loans (oh yeah).
If only...
I'd like to graduate next spring or at the end of next summer. The only way to do that is to take 3 classes this summer. I could take them all. They're all offered in Summer A. However, I have a new car payment, high insurance payment, and I would have to pay for those classes and books. The classes would be about $1000 and the books another $300 ish unless I could buy them off a friend, which I would prefer.
So I'm going to be down in the dumps about not getting to take these classes now, even though I technically am registered...because I like theoretical situations. I mean, I want my summer vacation break; however, I need to graduate and soon. I'm so sick of school right now. I'm fed up with being behind what I should be in my life. I want a job, a home, a family. And I know that I want these after I am holding my B.S. in my hands. I don't know if I want to leave Florida, but NYC is looking like a good opportunity as well.
I hate being held back by situations that I've created. And I've created each of these various situations. I'm just wondering if there's hope sometimes, and I guess there always is, but I feel like I'm drowning and I just want air (figuratively and literally...this cold sucks!). I could do this. I could be all that I can be and all of that mumbo jumbo, but I feel like I'm not living up to the expectations that my family had for me in the beginning. I mean, I don't usually care what other people think, but I'm 22 years old and I'm still working on my first B.S. degree. I'll be 23 when I graduate, whether that's next spring, summer, or fall. But it blows my mind that if I do, in fact, graduate in the fall, then people that I went to high school with will be almost finished with their masters degrees. I'll only have my B.S. and maybe a job, somewhere. That angers me because I should be the one with the almost masters degree instead of with the B.S. Grrrrr!
Why do I have to feel so stupid? Am I really as stupid as I feel? I wish I could make sense to myself because I blow my mind. Like 15-16 classes stand between me and my degree: 3 or 4 English classes, 2 comp classes, 6 Ad classes, 1 law class, 3 pertaining-to-ad classes. All I need is 3 of my 6 ad classes this summer so then I could take the next 2 in the fall and the last one in the spring. That's all I need...and then to overfill my schedule with classes next fall and spring...but there's always next summer since I can take classes then so long as it's not my Ad campaign class which isn't offered in the summer, which is why I need the next 3 ad classes in my sequence. I could graduate at the end of summer A. Then I could get some real full-time job that isn't telemarketing and work. And pay off student loans (oh yeah).
If only...