(no subject)
Things haven't gone so well, I think.
I haven't done much with my loves in months. I hate that. When I first got Charlotte, I would take her out every day, change her clothes and put her to bed every night. Childish? Fucked up? Yeah, it is. But it was soothing, and there was something so deep about the way I felt, looking at her. Like looking into the past, at a younger version of myself, and taking care of her the way I never was. Then I moved and started working, and time got short. No time for little things like that. I changed her faceup dramatically, and even though she's more beautiful now than she's ever been, it's hard to feel the same now. She's older, reclusive, cold. Still me. Her birthday was on October 15th. A year with me. I didn't even do anything with her then, and I wish I had. Maybe she doesn't know or feel anything about it, but I do.
I can't seem to bond well with Aegis. When he was first here, still just a head, I shaved his cheeks and painted his face and put his eyes in, and he came alive. I looked at him, and seemed to hear his voice, answering my question. It scared me. I put him away. I'm not delusional enough to think they actually talk. I know it was the voice of my subconscious, telling me things I didn't want to hear.
When his body came in, it was so fun. I made him pants, carried him around everywhere, just had fun with him. Then the novelty wore off, and he's been kind of pushed aside. I thought about selling him when I thought I was going to have to come up with money fast to pay my rent, but fortunately that didn't happen. I've changed his faceup about three times, and each time he gets softer, younger. Not like that strong, wise voice I heard. I'm still working on him. Maybe I'll get him just right, and get that back, and maybe I won't push it away if it happens again.
We'll see.
Before and after.
Aegis' first faceup.
Current face.
From a photoshoot that never got uploaded.
I haven't done much with my loves in months. I hate that. When I first got Charlotte, I would take her out every day, change her clothes and put her to bed every night. Childish? Fucked up? Yeah, it is. But it was soothing, and there was something so deep about the way I felt, looking at her. Like looking into the past, at a younger version of myself, and taking care of her the way I never was. Then I moved and started working, and time got short. No time for little things like that. I changed her faceup dramatically, and even though she's more beautiful now than she's ever been, it's hard to feel the same now. She's older, reclusive, cold. Still me. Her birthday was on October 15th. A year with me. I didn't even do anything with her then, and I wish I had. Maybe she doesn't know or feel anything about it, but I do.
I can't seem to bond well with Aegis. When he was first here, still just a head, I shaved his cheeks and painted his face and put his eyes in, and he came alive. I looked at him, and seemed to hear his voice, answering my question. It scared me. I put him away. I'm not delusional enough to think they actually talk. I know it was the voice of my subconscious, telling me things I didn't want to hear.
When his body came in, it was so fun. I made him pants, carried him around everywhere, just had fun with him. Then the novelty wore off, and he's been kind of pushed aside. I thought about selling him when I thought I was going to have to come up with money fast to pay my rent, but fortunately that didn't happen. I've changed his faceup about three times, and each time he gets softer, younger. Not like that strong, wise voice I heard. I'm still working on him. Maybe I'll get him just right, and get that back, and maybe I won't push it away if it happens again.
We'll see.
Before and after.
Aegis' first faceup.
Current face.
From a photoshoot that never got uploaded.