May Ball
Was meant to be the best nite of the year last nite.
Turned out to be the worst of my life tbh. I hated every minute i was there.
I felt ugly, fat and unloved. Not that i was wanting attention. Oh no, cos i'm not that fucking pretentious people (u should all know that :P)
It was the fact that i was wearing a dress that tbh, is too big for me, despite the fact i made it when i was about 15. It was in lilac colour, which i liked at the time, but not really 'me' now. And it looked like it was meant to be worn as a bridesmids dress.
Felt fat cos i've just been eating too much recently.
And unloved because a certain someone couldn't be arsed to accompany me. Well, to give him the benefit of the doubt, he's done this all before, but still. Everywhere i looked there were couples. Go fucking figure how that left me feeling. Fucking rejected.
It finished at 3 this morning, but i couldn't sleep, so just went to sit outside & watched the staff clearing up outside and the sun rising - was a great 'after-math' picture. like a bomb had gone off and everyones ghost was lingering. random bits of paper and stuff floating around. Disgusting really, but etherial in another way.
Very dejected.
Turned out to be the worst of my life tbh. I hated every minute i was there.
I felt ugly, fat and unloved. Not that i was wanting attention. Oh no, cos i'm not that fucking pretentious people (u should all know that :P)
It was the fact that i was wearing a dress that tbh, is too big for me, despite the fact i made it when i was about 15. It was in lilac colour, which i liked at the time, but not really 'me' now. And it looked like it was meant to be worn as a bridesmids dress.
Felt fat cos i've just been eating too much recently.
And unloved because a certain someone couldn't be arsed to accompany me. Well, to give him the benefit of the doubt, he's done this all before, but still. Everywhere i looked there were couples. Go fucking figure how that left me feeling. Fucking rejected.
It finished at 3 this morning, but i couldn't sleep, so just went to sit outside & watched the staff clearing up outside and the sun rising - was a great 'after-math' picture. like a bomb had gone off and everyones ghost was lingering. random bits of paper and stuff floating around. Disgusting really, but etherial in another way.
Very dejected.