(no subject)
Here I am 23, living downtown with my loving husband in a small apartment with the best view in town. I'm working at a sandwich shop that is barely surviving. They want to make me manager, but I already am and I already make more than the manager that is departing. I suppose this upcoming title means I get blamed. I'm thinking about going back to school VERY soon. For what? I dont know. I'm researching that at the moment.
My mom passed away a year ago thursday. Sometimes I wish I could ask her for advice on things like that or how to keep up with dishes and laundry and cleaning all at the same time. Or just hug and kiss her and tell her how much I love her and miss her and that she was so much to all of us.
My dad is caught up in a romance with an exgirlfriend from highschool, she was an exchange student from sweden. They are already engaged. Marta seems like a nice woman, not my mother but she told us she wasnt trying to be and never could be. I'm glad she understands.
Laura is angry and lonely, she doesnt get along with any of us much anymore. There's just too much of an open opinion for her to handle openly with ease I suppose. I want her to learn to be at peace with her life and move on to bigger and better things that she can take credit for.
Grace is attending school for violin at Harrison. She is blossoming into a beautiful creative loving woman except when it comes to Laura. I'm so afraid she is going to drive Laura to the end with her disagreement with her disagreements. If that makes any sense. Grace and I have become alot closer lately. Mostly because she doesnt know how to handle life at home with the people already there.
Emma is still Emma, but with a little less structure. She is so pretty. She is still so mysterious.
Visiting back home is warm and inviting, but I just want to scream sometimes. "Turn the TV off while eating!" "Ask Dad how his day was at work!" "Share your lives with each other!" "Listen to each other like you care!" "Help clean up after meals!" "Put some clothes on Emma and make her eat with the family!" "Put trash in the bin!" "Love this home because the love that built it and the memories that were made in it!" "What would mom think!?"
She would cry.
I feel guilty for not being there.
I began this entry not thinking that it would have this emotion behind it. I've felt content with life besides all the above. I was going to write about what danny is up to and what we are planning for this weekend and how the gangster geese outside no longer sqwak at me like they do everyone else who walk by. I was even going to write about why I refer to them as the Lake Morton Mafia. This must be why I knew I needed to start blogging again. Bottling these feelings are no good. Saying it out loud just invites further complaining. I said it once. No more. Now I act.
Now.. On to the Lake Morton Mafia.
well maybe later
My mom passed away a year ago thursday. Sometimes I wish I could ask her for advice on things like that or how to keep up with dishes and laundry and cleaning all at the same time. Or just hug and kiss her and tell her how much I love her and miss her and that she was so much to all of us.
My dad is caught up in a romance with an exgirlfriend from highschool, she was an exchange student from sweden. They are already engaged. Marta seems like a nice woman, not my mother but she told us she wasnt trying to be and never could be. I'm glad she understands.
Laura is angry and lonely, she doesnt get along with any of us much anymore. There's just too much of an open opinion for her to handle openly with ease I suppose. I want her to learn to be at peace with her life and move on to bigger and better things that she can take credit for.
Grace is attending school for violin at Harrison. She is blossoming into a beautiful creative loving woman except when it comes to Laura. I'm so afraid she is going to drive Laura to the end with her disagreement with her disagreements. If that makes any sense. Grace and I have become alot closer lately. Mostly because she doesnt know how to handle life at home with the people already there.
Emma is still Emma, but with a little less structure. She is so pretty. She is still so mysterious.
Visiting back home is warm and inviting, but I just want to scream sometimes. "Turn the TV off while eating!" "Ask Dad how his day was at work!" "Share your lives with each other!" "Listen to each other like you care!" "Help clean up after meals!" "Put some clothes on Emma and make her eat with the family!" "Put trash in the bin!" "Love this home because the love that built it and the memories that were made in it!" "What would mom think!?"
She would cry.
I feel guilty for not being there.
I began this entry not thinking that it would have this emotion behind it. I've felt content with life besides all the above. I was going to write about what danny is up to and what we are planning for this weekend and how the gangster geese outside no longer sqwak at me like they do everyone else who walk by. I was even going to write about why I refer to them as the Lake Morton Mafia. This must be why I knew I needed to start blogging again. Bottling these feelings are no good. Saying it out loud just invites further complaining. I said it once. No more. Now I act.
Now.. On to the Lake Morton Mafia.
well maybe later