Two quarters and a heart down//and i don't wanna forget how your voice sounds
i feel like total crap..probably because i'm possibly getting sick..i have, yet another, cold sore..and i can't sleep even though when i finally did go to bed last night i passed out immediately (which was around 4 am).
i've been feeling rather emo lately..i hate it..
maybe it has to do with my feelings for AJ and them just wearing me out..who knows..i just know i don't want to feel like this anymore. this crappy feeling may be getting worse. i don't know anymore. i just know i really miss having him..all i did last night was cry. i told him last night that it would be easier for me to never wake up again because then i wouldn't have these feelings for a boy who will never have them for me.
*warning: i'm going to ramble..*
it bothers me that i feel that way.
what happened to me?
what happened to the person who loves life and everything that you can get out of it, that i know myself to be?
does it even matter anymore?..oh, but of course it does.
why do i care so much even though i knew how he was before i dated him?
how can i stop thinking about this?
...
ok i believe i'm done...as usual, its only for now.
i've been feeling rather emo lately..i hate it..
maybe it has to do with my feelings for AJ and them just wearing me out..who knows..i just know i don't want to feel like this anymore. this crappy feeling may be getting worse. i don't know anymore. i just know i really miss having him..all i did last night was cry. i told him last night that it would be easier for me to never wake up again because then i wouldn't have these feelings for a boy who will never have them for me.
*warning: i'm going to ramble..*
it bothers me that i feel that way.
what happened to me?
what happened to the person who loves life and everything that you can get out of it, that i know myself to be?
does it even matter anymore?..oh, but of course it does.
why do i care so much even though i knew how he was before i dated him?
how can i stop thinking about this?
...
ok i believe i'm done...as usual, its only for now.