If It Makes You Happy...

[wishiwasanocean]

I have a new philosophy about life. Well, it mostly pertains to extra-curricular activities and time management. Here it is: if it doesn't make me happy, it isn't worth it. It's pretty obvious, but I need to remind myself to actually follow it. After all, not everything can be fun, right? You have to work hard to feel satisfied, and there are always gonna be stressful things to encounter, even with things you do enjoy. But what I need to realize is that I have more flexibility than I think. I need to have high-quality experience/activities in order to get a good teaching job. The problem is, there are way too many choices for me to accomplish this. It can be stressful for me to decide which is the best or most convenient. The plethora of choices is actually a blessing, because that means I never have to settle. There is no need for me to do things that I don't enjoy. Ever. I can pick and choose the little things I want to do for every big thing I want to do. If I can't do something I want without doing something I don't want, I can decide whether it is worth it, and either way, I'm right. No resume-building activity is so crucial that if I don't do it or don't complete it that it will have a significant effect on my future. I can try out every single option available to me, if I want. Nothing really needs too much of a commitment, so I shouldn't be obligated to do something that doesn't make me excited. I want to make sure that I do try things, because it is really easy to come up with excuses to not do something. I would much rather try something and hate it than never try it at all. I may be avoiding the anxiety of the first situation, but the second situation could give me longer-lasting anxiety. It might be really hard to decide whether I like something or not, whether its pros outweigh its cons. That is okay. I can keep going until I'm sure I hate it. That is certainly better than doing something I hate without even recognizing my option to quit. Considering whether I like something or not puts me way ahead of the game in terms of happiness, so I don't have to try to be perfect about my decisions. It is easy to choose based on narrow-minded logic and rules; it is more difficult to choose based on emotions, they are more complex and dynamic. I don't much to worry about when deciding whether to quit something. If I wanted to quit it in the first place, I probably don't want to bother starting back up again. Circular logic, I know, but it works. All of this work is leading to my happiness anyway, right? In fact, what in my life does not lead to my happiness? Everything I do in terms of work, leisure, and relationships should make me happy. And if it doesn't, it's time to change it.

So, I'm going to keep up with Harry Potter Club and see if I like it. The focus is not as literature central as I would like, and I'm not sure about the social dynamics of the club. I might decide I don't want to be Secretary anymore, or not be in the club at all. I want to keep up with Creative Writing Club, I'm pretty sure, but I can pick and choose responsibilities. I'm not obligated to do anything, it's not mine or anyone else's top priority, and everybody understands that. I want to try tutoring at Job Corps, probably stop after a month. I don't need to do it the whole semester. I'm going to try to be an EOP tutor, I might get in, I might not, and I'm sure I can decide how many hours a week I can tutor. I will continue going to diversity events and DPEP, and show up to ALS dept/club things, but no commitment is necessary. I also have 6 classes and maybe a mini this semester, so we'll just have to see how it all turns out.