Vday: send me spinning closer
send me spinning closer | au | bandom | pg | Jon/Spencer (title from 'Crazy for You' covered by Adele)
Spencer has only taken three jobs this month, compared to his usual standard practice of accepting 3-5 jobs a week, this pace indicates a sedentary lifestyle he has not allowed himself to indulge in for years. The apartment he’s subletting barely contains enough room for his one bag of tools and the light wardrobe he brought along, but he hadn’t secured this location for its posh environment, instead it served its purpose as a central location that wouldn’t bring too much attention to a new tenant that wouldn’t be living there for too long; that had been two weeks ago. Except he’d managed to send in a payment for the next two weeks, converting the spartan arrangements into a quaint headquarters, and giving vague answers to any questions from headquarters asking him when he was going to depart from his current arrangement.
His job is not in jeopardy . He’s dedicated too much of his life achieving the level of success he wields at such an early age to be careless with it, but--
Sometimes he allows himself to follow a chain of what if. What if the accident never happened, what if someone else had adopted him, what if he hadn’t pushed himself so hard to prove himself that he swallowed down any doubt about the direction he was pursuing in life? What if he hadn’t interrupted Jon before he could invite him over to his place? What if he actually were the person Jon thought he was?
Only in the early streams of morning, when the possibility of physically seeing Jon is impossible, does Spencer allow himself the indulgence of the hypothetical. He knows how pointless it is but he persists just to tap down on any impulses he may have when he gets his morning cup of coffee and scone, or when he drops by for lunch for a surprise sandwich, or on the nights he happens to swing by before Jon closes shop and they walk together before they part ways at their apartment doors.
(‘I’m so fucked,’ he says one night he dodges another inquiry from Greta about possibly taking a job that requires him to leave his current place. It bothers him less than he likes.)
The twenty-fifth day of his stay, Brendon calls him on the line only the two of them know about, the one they answer no matter what else was going on around them.
‘What if I could stay?’ he says.
Spencer has only taken three jobs this month, compared to his usual standard practice of accepting 3-5 jobs a week, this pace indicates a sedentary lifestyle he has not allowed himself to indulge in for years. The apartment he’s subletting barely contains enough room for his one bag of tools and the light wardrobe he brought along, but he hadn’t secured this location for its posh environment, instead it served its purpose as a central location that wouldn’t bring too much attention to a new tenant that wouldn’t be living there for too long; that had been two weeks ago. Except he’d managed to send in a payment for the next two weeks, converting the spartan arrangements into a quaint headquarters, and giving vague answers to any questions from headquarters asking him when he was going to depart from his current arrangement.
His job is not in jeopardy . He’s dedicated too much of his life achieving the level of success he wields at such an early age to be careless with it, but--
Sometimes he allows himself to follow a chain of what if. What if the accident never happened, what if someone else had adopted him, what if he hadn’t pushed himself so hard to prove himself that he swallowed down any doubt about the direction he was pursuing in life? What if he hadn’t interrupted Jon before he could invite him over to his place? What if he actually were the person Jon thought he was?
Only in the early streams of morning, when the possibility of physically seeing Jon is impossible, does Spencer allow himself the indulgence of the hypothetical. He knows how pointless it is but he persists just to tap down on any impulses he may have when he gets his morning cup of coffee and scone, or when he drops by for lunch for a surprise sandwich, or on the nights he happens to swing by before Jon closes shop and they walk together before they part ways at their apartment doors.
(‘I’m so fucked,’ he says one night he dodges another inquiry from Greta about possibly taking a job that requires him to leave his current place. It bothers him less than he likes.)
The twenty-fifth day of his stay, Brendon calls him on the line only the two of them know about, the one they answer no matter what else was going on around them.
‘What if I could stay?’ he says.