4 years. 2 weeks. 10 weeks.
In the past month...
JET is still on hold (I'm an alternate until Oct.)
I turned town 2 offers for the original offer (NINTENDO!)
I've lost a bit more weight. I'm about 223-225 now. Wanna try to get under 220 for graduation.
Love life has been turned upside down, but I'm not complaining... I'm better for it.
I need to find housing for Chicago for 10 weeks.
I didn't meet my savings goal (oh well...)
I've gotten a lot more music.
I'm excited, scared, curious, but mainly excited.
Campaigns is almost over. Tuesday is d-day, I want to win more than I'm willing to admit.
A human being (a single one) made a really really big impact on the world.
I've grown so much, yet I'm still much the same. I think "maturity" is only realizing exactly who you are and why. For some reason people think you have to "grow up" to be mature... and I don't think that I'm every going to do that. I'm Benny... and I'm still a fucking kid. I think it's because I'm an eternal optimist. I'm an idealist. Look, I don't want that to ever end. Youth is idealism. It is reality untainted by reality. It is joy... and I am joyful.
I still haven't watched those movies I was supposed to. How long is the flight to Chicago. I bought a PSP, because I said to myself I can make mistakes because I'm young. But I'll be young forever... so I suppose I'll be making mistakes forever.
I don't get it. I'm doing things that I love, why do I get rewarded for that? Can it be exceptional if it is par for the course for yourself? If your norm is everyone elses hardwork... what is your hardwork? What could you accomplish with that?
My car needs gas, and once again I find myself in a fucked financial position. I wonder what it'll be like when I have a real job. $35k a year could not dissuade me from a dream. I don't have to hope that I made the right decisions, because I know that I did.
NINTENDO. NINTENDO. NINTENDO. Unbelievable. Holy crap. I won't believe it until I'm looking at it and immersed in it. I hope the little kid inside doesn't skew my skills in anyway. I hope I don't love the client I'm working for so much that I fuck up in some way. It's going to take both confidence and humility.
It scares me that the Japanese-dream may be slowly dying. Its completely out of my hands at this point, but I wonder how I could fit a year or two of Japan in my life somehow. Is this something for the hands of God to weave? I suppose I still believe that it's possible, although God's hands have merged with fates winds for me.
I should call Jen. And Sarah. But I want something else. I should Megan. But I want someone else. Am I too picky? Is time eroding away at me like water on a rock? I think I'm beginning to give, but I haven't yet. Geoff's certainly not helping, but then again look what he has had on his plate. Bastard. ;)
I'm not scared, but I am scared. It's a good feeling.
I bought Pokemon today. I'm 22. I have to giggle a little at that.
What am I going to do with myself after Tuesday? Get back to work, that's what. Resume needs to be updated and tweaked. Housing needs to be figured out. Finances have to be figured out. Holy crap, I'll have my own apartment. A whole new city with all new people. I'm going to need to find a friend or 10. I kind of hope I get an offer there, that's certainly the goal. Should Japan be on my mind?
Desk shift is coming up soon. I'm going to play Pokemon. Fuck you for judging me. :)
JET is still on hold (I'm an alternate until Oct.)
I turned town 2 offers for the original offer (NINTENDO!)
I've lost a bit more weight. I'm about 223-225 now. Wanna try to get under 220 for graduation.
Love life has been turned upside down, but I'm not complaining... I'm better for it.
I need to find housing for Chicago for 10 weeks.
I didn't meet my savings goal (oh well...)
I've gotten a lot more music.
I'm excited, scared, curious, but mainly excited.
Campaigns is almost over. Tuesday is d-day, I want to win more than I'm willing to admit.
A human being (a single one) made a really really big impact on the world.
I've grown so much, yet I'm still much the same. I think "maturity" is only realizing exactly who you are and why. For some reason people think you have to "grow up" to be mature... and I don't think that I'm every going to do that. I'm Benny... and I'm still a fucking kid. I think it's because I'm an eternal optimist. I'm an idealist. Look, I don't want that to ever end. Youth is idealism. It is reality untainted by reality. It is joy... and I am joyful.
I still haven't watched those movies I was supposed to. How long is the flight to Chicago. I bought a PSP, because I said to myself I can make mistakes because I'm young. But I'll be young forever... so I suppose I'll be making mistakes forever.
I don't get it. I'm doing things that I love, why do I get rewarded for that? Can it be exceptional if it is par for the course for yourself? If your norm is everyone elses hardwork... what is your hardwork? What could you accomplish with that?
My car needs gas, and once again I find myself in a fucked financial position. I wonder what it'll be like when I have a real job. $35k a year could not dissuade me from a dream. I don't have to hope that I made the right decisions, because I know that I did.
NINTENDO. NINTENDO. NINTENDO. Unbelievable. Holy crap. I won't believe it until I'm looking at it and immersed in it. I hope the little kid inside doesn't skew my skills in anyway. I hope I don't love the client I'm working for so much that I fuck up in some way. It's going to take both confidence and humility.
It scares me that the Japanese-dream may be slowly dying. Its completely out of my hands at this point, but I wonder how I could fit a year or two of Japan in my life somehow. Is this something for the hands of God to weave? I suppose I still believe that it's possible, although God's hands have merged with fates winds for me.
I should call Jen. And Sarah. But I want something else. I should Megan. But I want someone else. Am I too picky? Is time eroding away at me like water on a rock? I think I'm beginning to give, but I haven't yet. Geoff's certainly not helping, but then again look what he has had on his plate. Bastard. ;)
I'm not scared, but I am scared. It's a good feeling.
I bought Pokemon today. I'm 22. I have to giggle a little at that.
What am I going to do with myself after Tuesday? Get back to work, that's what. Resume needs to be updated and tweaked. Housing needs to be figured out. Finances have to be figured out. Holy crap, I'll have my own apartment. A whole new city with all new people. I'm going to need to find a friend or 10. I kind of hope I get an offer there, that's certainly the goal. Should Japan be on my mind?
Desk shift is coming up soon. I'm going to play Pokemon. Fuck you for judging me. :)