Lovers
Ok, that last entry was kinda weird and off-topic because I didn't really know what I had in mind when I started to write it. This one, however, will be FUN. The topic: what makes a good lover. WARNING: social conservatives should not read further, or else agree to keep all comments to themselves :cP
We've all heard the debate about whether good lovers are born or made. I think there are certainly people who are born good at it- a simple matter of having the right personality. But everybody has the potential for it. What I mean about 'the right personality' is a certain amount of sensitivity. Not in the sense of being a nice person, because some complete asses can be great lovers, but in the sense of paying attention to the other person's desires.
In other words, being IN THE MOMENT. You can't let your mind wander to whatever else happened in your day or what work you have in the morning. Nothing should feel rushed, and everything should feel intense. Your entire focus and intent should be on your partner and what makes them feel good. They say it should be about communication, but it's more than that. You have to be turned on by their pleasures. And the best thing is that when you meet another person who functions along the same lines, it establishes a rapport and a give-and-take that just crescendoes into something spectacular.
If you want practice at this kind of mental state, try giving massages. Give them until you like giving them. Because a massage requires you to relax a person, to figure out what muscles like to be pressed how much and the physicality of the situation. It's all about getting people to their comfort zone. When physical concentration becomes second-nature to you, all sorts of things start happening. People claim you have a 'magic touch' that heals soreness. You become confident in your own actions and what you can do with your hands. And when you're with your partner, you start discovering the often-missed sensitive places like the underside of wrists and legs that can make them shiver with pleasure.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a good lover is not entirely about experience. Granted, more experiences definitely give you a greater 'bag of tricks' to choose from, so to speak, which can certainly bring some excitement and pleasant surprises in. But the key factor, the most important thing, is treating the moment as eternal. When nothing else matters but your partner, the whole world falls away. And then they discover the amazing things you can do.
We've all heard the debate about whether good lovers are born or made. I think there are certainly people who are born good at it- a simple matter of having the right personality. But everybody has the potential for it. What I mean about 'the right personality' is a certain amount of sensitivity. Not in the sense of being a nice person, because some complete asses can be great lovers, but in the sense of paying attention to the other person's desires.
In other words, being IN THE MOMENT. You can't let your mind wander to whatever else happened in your day or what work you have in the morning. Nothing should feel rushed, and everything should feel intense. Your entire focus and intent should be on your partner and what makes them feel good. They say it should be about communication, but it's more than that. You have to be turned on by their pleasures. And the best thing is that when you meet another person who functions along the same lines, it establishes a rapport and a give-and-take that just crescendoes into something spectacular.
If you want practice at this kind of mental state, try giving massages. Give them until you like giving them. Because a massage requires you to relax a person, to figure out what muscles like to be pressed how much and the physicality of the situation. It's all about getting people to their comfort zone. When physical concentration becomes second-nature to you, all sorts of things start happening. People claim you have a 'magic touch' that heals soreness. You become confident in your own actions and what you can do with your hands. And when you're with your partner, you start discovering the often-missed sensitive places like the underside of wrists and legs that can make them shiver with pleasure.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a good lover is not entirely about experience. Granted, more experiences definitely give you a greater 'bag of tricks' to choose from, so to speak, which can certainly bring some excitement and pleasant surprises in. But the key factor, the most important thing, is treating the moment as eternal. When nothing else matters but your partner, the whole world falls away. And then they discover the amazing things you can do.