Is there a correlation between sexuality/sexual orientation/sexual preference and your fic writing habits? Many discussions of "why I slash" suggest that there is
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I suspect that any time you start attempting to create categories for gender and sexuality, you're opening up a can of worms.
I'm bisexual and I'm not that crazy about being lumped in with omnisexual or pansexual. There's a whole lot of men and women out there that I am not attracted too and have absolutely no interested in romantically. Omni- and pan- seem to imply all or everyone. The fact that I am bi and no, would rather not fuck everyone I see can sometimes be a hard thing to get across, along with the fact that I am bi and monogamous.
Furthermore, pansexual or omnisexual always strikes me as terms that describe loving or being attracted to people regardless of gender. What attracts to each gender is different. I have some things I find attractive in men and a completely different things that I find attractive in women.
I think most people who identify as "omnisexual" or "pansexual" don't mean that they have no standards (or even that they're non-monogamous), but rather that they find "bi" problematic for whatever reason (personally, I often use the term "bisexual" for myself for ease and clarity -- and am a very picky monogamous person, fwiw -- but I dislike the implication that my attractions are split exactly 50/50, and I also recognize as problematic the implication that there are only two sexes to which to be attracted . . . thus eliding people who do see themselves as fitting into the gender binary
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so it's interesting to me to hear a different understanding of that statement.
As it is with me. I haven't heard the other two terms very often, but whenever I have, I have usually heard it in terms of "will f*ck everything that moves." I have never heard anyone that self identifies by either of those terms. Perhaps that is much of my aversion. I generally don't tell many people of my sexual preference unless they are close nowadays because I'm married and people generally react in complete confusion or go "Oh, so you and your husband enjoy threesomes?" *headdesk* And it is hard at times to explain how I love my husband, will hopefully be with him to the end of our lives, but I am still bi. It is frustrating because most people seem to understand that you can be in a monogamous straight relationship, but your are still straight.
Yes, that's mainly where I've heard it used, too. For instance if you're a female and you're attracted to females but only to female transsexuals, does that make you a lesbian, or bi (or just awesome)? I'm not an expert or anything, but I think the sort of "omni" designation comes in generally for folks who are also dealing with various aspects of gender identity in themselves or their partners, and something like "bi" just doesn't cover it.
I think the only time I've heard "omnisexual" used in a will-fuck-anything way is in fandom circles in connection to Jack Harkness on Torchwood, and although it's used there to get across the point that Jack will have sex with anything whether it's male or female or completely alien, I think it's also inclusive of the idea that in his 51st-century life, all those labels don't even apply. (But also I think a lot of fandom hasn't given much thought to the many facets of gender identity.)
See, and Jack Harkness is the only time I've heard the term omnisexual. I've heard pansexual before, but only applied to/used by people that don't believe in monogamous relationships (which is fine as far as I'm concerned, but isn't me).
I'm glad I spoke up, as I am learning a lot from this conversation.
I don't think I'd ever heard the term pansexual before this conversation. But I'm not exactly a nexus of interesting discussion on gender identity, either. ;D
I was curious whether these terms appeared in the dictionary, and although the dictionary isn't really where you'd go for cutting-edge gender identity research, I was interested to see that they list pansexual and omnisexual basically as synonyms, both meaning "expressing or involving sexuality in many different forms or with a variety of sexual outlets." (For pansexual, a couple of the other dictionaries on dictionary.com list it as "a person who participates in [or is open to] sexual activities of many kinds." So while that would cover the lack of monogamous relationships, it also seems like it'd cover people who are just open-minded about that, whether they participate in it or not. Maybe.)
Anyway. Pointless, but interesting. These gender discussions are always lively ones, eh? :)
I'm a librarian and about to teach a library session for a class on Sex & Sexuality. I literally have about 6 dictionaries/encyclopedias in my office on the subject. I'm about to run and teach a (different) class but I'll look those terms up when I get back.
These gender discussions are always lively ones, eh? :)
Cool, I'd be really interested to hear what you find.
I suppose the tricky thing is, no matter what kind of categorizations you use, by the very nature of categorization you're pigeon-holing people. And when nobody can even agree on what a particular category name implies in terms of behavior or orientation or whatever else, then it's a real mess. But we can't not categorize. We're human beings and it's like our favorite hobby as a species. :D
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Urban Dictionary is a slightly better place to look for definitions of these sort, but like any user-generated area, it can also get some terms horribly wrong. They do a much better job explaining pansexuality than dictionary.com, though.
I tend to be a bit leery of major dictionary definitions for sexuality, anyways. For instance, thesaurus.com lists inverted as a synonym for gay, and I know many people take offense to that -- they also include intersexual, hermaphroditic, and androgynous as synonyms for bisexual, and an bi person can tell you how wrong that is.
Wikipedia also does a bit of a more reliable job on explaining such a convulted term as one used for sexual identity. Here is it's listing for pansexual.
I'm a monogomous pansexual, and I can guarentee you that being pansexual has about as much to do with monogomy as bisexuality does -- essentially, it doesn't. We're just as likely to fall anywhere on the spectrum of polyamory as heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, omnisexuals, and asexuals (etc).
It's just that many people who are pansexual feel that the term bisexual is limiting romantic options to people who fit into the stereotypical gender binary, whereas pansexuals are attracted to people reguardless of gender.
For the future, among pansexuals it's just as offensive to say we have no standards (would fuck anyone) as it is for bisexuals. We have standards, they just don't typically have to do with where someone falls on the gender spectrum.
If you'd like to research the issue some more, the community i_am_pansexual is gold. They have several member definitions that are just brilliant, as well as links to several other good sources of information.
Or, in my case, attraction to people who are male, people who are female, people who are trans, and people who are genderqueer. "Bi"sexual is about duality, and gender is much more than that.
I am a self-identifying pansexual, and while I'm certainly poly-curious, I would rather not fuck everything that moves. :) The way I use it, being pansexual is about being attracted to someone regardless of where they fall on the gender spectrum -- male, female, trans, everything in between and beyond. It's not about being "loose," or whatever you'd call it.
I do apologize for the lumping. As people replied below, I was definitely thinking of people I know who identify as omni- or pansexual because they are (or theoretically might be!) attracted to people of genders other than male or female. The slashes between those terms should be read as "or"s. I didn't mean to imply that they are synonymous.
I'm glad I got the conversation I got out of it, as I am starting to understand why people identify as pansexual or omnisexual a bit better. A lot of the reasons people seem to use those terms is to avoid some of the problems I come up against when I identify myself as bisexual. It has been, in short, an education.
Also, I understand that crating categories can almost always be problematic, but needed for polling.
I'm bisexual and I'm not that crazy about being lumped in with omnisexual or pansexual. There's a whole lot of men and women out there that I am not attracted too and have absolutely no interested in romantically. Omni- and pan- seem to imply all or everyone. The fact that I am bi and no, would rather not fuck everyone I see can sometimes be a hard thing to get across, along with the fact that I am bi and monogamous.
Furthermore, pansexual or omnisexual always strikes me as terms that describe loving or being attracted to people regardless of gender. What attracts to each gender is different. I have some things I find attractive in men and a completely different things that I find attractive in women.
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As it is with me. I haven't heard the other two terms very often, but whenever I have, I have usually heard it in terms of "will f*ck everything that moves." I have never heard anyone that self identifies by either of those terms. Perhaps that is much of my aversion. I generally don't tell many people of my sexual preference unless they are close nowadays because I'm married and people generally react in complete confusion or go "Oh, so you and your husband enjoy threesomes?" *headdesk* And it is hard at times to explain how I love my husband, will hopefully be with him to the end of our lives, but I am still bi. It is frustrating because most people seem to understand that you can be in a monogamous straight relationship, but your are still straight.
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I think the only time I've heard "omnisexual" used in a will-fuck-anything way is in fandom circles in connection to Jack Harkness on Torchwood, and although it's used there to get across the point that Jack will have sex with anything whether it's male or female or completely alien, I think it's also inclusive of the idea that in his 51st-century life, all those labels don't even apply. (But also I think a lot of fandom hasn't given much thought to the many facets of gender identity.)
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I'm glad I spoke up, as I am learning a lot from this conversation.
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I was curious whether these terms appeared in the dictionary, and although the dictionary isn't really where you'd go for cutting-edge gender identity research, I was interested to see that they list pansexual and omnisexual basically as synonyms, both meaning "expressing or involving sexuality in many different forms or with a variety of sexual outlets." (For pansexual, a couple of the other dictionaries on dictionary.com list it as "a person who participates in [or is open to] sexual activities of many kinds." So while that would cover the lack of monogamous relationships, it also seems like it'd cover people who are just open-minded about that, whether they participate in it or not. Maybe.)
Anyway. Pointless, but interesting. These gender discussions are always lively ones, eh? :)
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These gender discussions are always lively ones, eh? :)
They certainly are!
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I suppose the tricky thing is, no matter what kind of categorizations you use, by the very nature of categorization you're pigeon-holing people. And when nobody can even agree on what a particular category name implies in terms of behavior or orientation or whatever else, then it's a real mess. But we can't not categorize. We're human beings and it's like our favorite hobby as a species. :D ( ... )
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I tend to be a bit leery of major dictionary definitions for sexuality, anyways. For instance, thesaurus.com lists inverted as a synonym for gay, and I know many people take offense to that -- they also include intersexual, hermaphroditic, and androgynous as synonyms for bisexual, and an bi person can tell you how wrong that is.
Wikipedia also does a bit of a more reliable job on explaining such a convulted term as one used for sexual identity. Here is it's listing for pansexual.
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It's just that many people who are pansexual feel that the term bisexual is limiting romantic options to people who fit into the stereotypical gender binary, whereas pansexuals are attracted to people reguardless of gender.
For the future, among pansexuals it's just as offensive to say we have no standards (would fuck anyone) as it is for bisexuals. We have standards, they just don't typically have to do with where someone falls on the gender spectrum.
If you'd like to research the issue some more, the community i_am_pansexual is gold. They have several member definitions that are just brilliant, as well as links to several other good sources of information.
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Also, I understand that crating categories can almost always be problematic, but needed for polling.
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