McKay fangirlism
I have replaced "The Jesus Seminar" with "McKay" in my user interests. And Oh. My. God. How many McKay communities are there? Answer: there are two. And this show has been around for how long? Which just goes to show, he's a ridiculously wonderful character.
So I'm actually writing Atlantis fic tonight. I know, shocking, in't it? I blame Meg.
Boyland
Fandom: Pop! There goes my SG Atlantis cherry
Pairing: McKay/fandom! OTP! OMGtheirloveissolemon.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Not really. Just for "Rising," I suppose.
Notes: Quick! Before we get canon to the contrary! sage_theory made me do it.
Summary: RE learns the joys of the exclamation point! Porn is mentioned! Someone might be gay! Guess who it is! Despite the heading, this isn't actually crap!fic!
"I wish we'd thought to bring porn," said Sheppard, for perhaps the fifth time that evening.
"Speak for yourself," said McKay, pressing his hands to his temples.
"That book you brought does not count as porn."
"It's a very important book," mumbled McKay.
"It's work. Work is not porn. Work is work. Porn is fun. And ne'er the twain shall meet in this fair city."
"Don't be a prick," said McKay. "Principles of Molecular Wormhole Physics is a very important book. Besides, the woman who wrote it, quite a babe."
"Okay, here we go again. The great and epic romance between Samantha Carter and Rodney McKay, the many obstacles that thwarted their love, the..."
"Hey, it's okay," said Ford quietly. "We've all got survival mechanisms, right?"
"Yes, but in order for my fragile male ego to survive, I'd like porn. Which McKay didn't bring, and since not all of us can jerk off to the curvaceous equations of Major Carter, I feel I have bitching rights."
"That's not the only porn I brought, anyhow," muttered McKay, idly fiddling with the temperature controls. The room was suddenly freezing cold.
"Fix that, please? Thanks. And I thought I heard you mention porn?"
"That's it, mates. I'm going to bed. If I hear the word 'porn' one more time, I'll spend tomorrow night with Dr. Weir."
"'Night, Carson," said McKay, and Ford and Sheppard chorused their goodnights.
"Porn?" said Sheppard, not really hopeful, but obviously thinking it was worth a shot.
"You wouldn't like it," said McKay.
"No, really, I'm kind of at the point where I can't be picky. Do you think the Athosians...?"
Ford laughed. McKay didn't. He'd heard this one before.
"I wish we'd thought to bring some porn," said Sheppard. Six times.
"Okay, okay. I brought porn. There's probably not enough pussy in it to please your homophobic male easily-harmed ego. But you can look if you want."
"You brought gay porn?"
"Yeah," said McKay, feeling another insult rising to his tongue, possibly involving the word caveman--no, australopithecine, that sounded much better. But at the same time he felt the strong urge to vomit, so he closed his mouth and said nothing.
"To a distant galaxy?"
"You're extra-sharp today. Must be something in the food."
"You brought gay porn... to another galaxy... and didn't bring normal porn... oh God."
McKay looked down at his hands, dammit. He wanted to look Sheppard in the eye and say, "Yes, I did." But he didn't say it.
"So, uh, yeah," said Sheppard, and that actually helped.
"Yes, exactly," said McKay.
"So, um, do you like women at all?"
"Haven't I told you that I was this close to...?"
"Yeah, but you might have been lying."
"Good point. Um, I wasn't. I like women. Men too."
"Me?"
"My God, could you be more of a cliché?"
"Look, I'm sorry."
"Sorry you're a military elitist homophobic uneducated functionally illiterate...?"
"Whoa, man, defensive much?" Ford said, looking up from his lap.
"I just happen to think that I should be free to express my sexuality in ways that are pleasing to myself without..."
"No one attacked you, you know. And I apologize. Can we please drop it now?"
"Yes, I think that would be best."
They all stared at their laps for awhile. McKay ran through the periodic table in his head, and found the results strangely calming and vaguely erotic. It was nice to find a low-key sensuality in your work, especially when you weren't likely to actually get any anytime soon.
"So, since you like girls and all, why didn't you bring straight porn to share with your good buddies?"
"I suspected that in the extremely unlikely circumstance that I find someone worth sleeping with in this galaxy, she'll most likely be female, as all the men around here are something like you. So to satisfy my more manly leanings, I turn to the wonder of Boyland."
"I think I might just have been insulted," said Sheppard, looking like a desperate man without a life preserver. "And, uh, by boys "
McKay twitched. "No, I do not mean pedophilia. I mean boys. Sweet, delectable, well-hung, of age, and so on and so forth. I'm going to bed, where I might well jerk off to my gay porn before I go to sleep."
"Good night, McKay." He left, taking the light-switch with him.
"We should turn in too, huh, Major?"
"Yeah...you know what, Ford?"
"No, sir. What?"
"I wish someone other than McKay had thought to bring some porn on this trip."
So I'm actually writing Atlantis fic tonight. I know, shocking, in't it? I blame Meg.
Boyland
Fandom: Pop! There goes my SG Atlantis cherry
Pairing: McKay/fandom! OTP! OMGtheirloveissolemon.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Not really. Just for "Rising," I suppose.
Notes: Quick! Before we get canon to the contrary! sage_theory made me do it.
Summary: RE learns the joys of the exclamation point! Porn is mentioned! Someone might be gay! Guess who it is! Despite the heading, this isn't actually crap!fic!
"I wish we'd thought to bring porn," said Sheppard, for perhaps the fifth time that evening.
"Speak for yourself," said McKay, pressing his hands to his temples.
"That book you brought does not count as porn."
"It's a very important book," mumbled McKay.
"It's work. Work is not porn. Work is work. Porn is fun. And ne'er the twain shall meet in this fair city."
"Don't be a prick," said McKay. "Principles of Molecular Wormhole Physics is a very important book. Besides, the woman who wrote it, quite a babe."
"Okay, here we go again. The great and epic romance between Samantha Carter and Rodney McKay, the many obstacles that thwarted their love, the..."
"Hey, it's okay," said Ford quietly. "We've all got survival mechanisms, right?"
"Yes, but in order for my fragile male ego to survive, I'd like porn. Which McKay didn't bring, and since not all of us can jerk off to the curvaceous equations of Major Carter, I feel I have bitching rights."
"That's not the only porn I brought, anyhow," muttered McKay, idly fiddling with the temperature controls. The room was suddenly freezing cold.
"Fix that, please? Thanks. And I thought I heard you mention porn?"
"That's it, mates. I'm going to bed. If I hear the word 'porn' one more time, I'll spend tomorrow night with Dr. Weir."
"'Night, Carson," said McKay, and Ford and Sheppard chorused their goodnights.
"Porn?" said Sheppard, not really hopeful, but obviously thinking it was worth a shot.
"You wouldn't like it," said McKay.
"No, really, I'm kind of at the point where I can't be picky. Do you think the Athosians...?"
Ford laughed. McKay didn't. He'd heard this one before.
"I wish we'd thought to bring some porn," said Sheppard. Six times.
"Okay, okay. I brought porn. There's probably not enough pussy in it to please your homophobic male easily-harmed ego. But you can look if you want."
"You brought gay porn?"
"Yeah," said McKay, feeling another insult rising to his tongue, possibly involving the word caveman--no, australopithecine, that sounded much better. But at the same time he felt the strong urge to vomit, so he closed his mouth and said nothing.
"To a distant galaxy?"
"You're extra-sharp today. Must be something in the food."
"You brought gay porn... to another galaxy... and didn't bring normal porn... oh God."
McKay looked down at his hands, dammit. He wanted to look Sheppard in the eye and say, "Yes, I did." But he didn't say it.
"So, uh, yeah," said Sheppard, and that actually helped.
"Yes, exactly," said McKay.
"So, um, do you like women at all?"
"Haven't I told you that I was this close to...?"
"Yeah, but you might have been lying."
"Good point. Um, I wasn't. I like women. Men too."
"Me?"
"My God, could you be more of a cliché?"
"Look, I'm sorry."
"Sorry you're a military elitist homophobic uneducated functionally illiterate...?"
"Whoa, man, defensive much?" Ford said, looking up from his lap.
"I just happen to think that I should be free to express my sexuality in ways that are pleasing to myself without..."
"No one attacked you, you know. And I apologize. Can we please drop it now?"
"Yes, I think that would be best."
They all stared at their laps for awhile. McKay ran through the periodic table in his head, and found the results strangely calming and vaguely erotic. It was nice to find a low-key sensuality in your work, especially when you weren't likely to actually get any anytime soon.
"So, since you like girls and all, why didn't you bring straight porn to share with your good buddies?"
"I suspected that in the extremely unlikely circumstance that I find someone worth sleeping with in this galaxy, she'll most likely be female, as all the men around here are something like you. So to satisfy my more manly leanings, I turn to the wonder of Boyland."
"I think I might just have been insulted," said Sheppard, looking like a desperate man without a life preserver. "And, uh, by boys "
McKay twitched. "No, I do not mean pedophilia. I mean boys. Sweet, delectable, well-hung, of age, and so on and so forth. I'm going to bed, where I might well jerk off to my gay porn before I go to sleep."
"Good night, McKay." He left, taking the light-switch with him.
"We should turn in too, huh, Major?"
"Yeah...you know what, Ford?"
"No, sir. What?"
"I wish someone other than McKay had thought to bring some porn on this trip."