five years an alien/project spectrum finally
As of yesterday, I've been in the UK for five years. I celebrated by getting the most overpriced Mexican food in my life but it was worth it just to eat real corn tortillas in London. Perhaps this subconsciously influenced me to design a stuffed alien for Project Spectrum or maybe it was just the horrible green yarn I had lying around. Either way, here she is with only one arm and no legs (they are tedious fuckers to knit).
And just to get everyone up to speed, here is the last five years of my life in a condensed list.
Apartments lived in: 2
Streets lived on: 1
Jobs (not including freelance): 7
Volunteer jobs: 2
Longest employment: 1 1/2 years
Shortest employment: 1 month (only because I had to give notice, which I gave after a week)
Degrees started: 1 MA
Degrees finished: 0
Zines started: 2
Zines finished: 1 (not one of the above 2)
Countries visited (not including the US): 8
Vacations per year: 4 on Average
Times wallet stolen: 2
Times apartment burgled: 1
Times physically assaulted: 1
Police stand offs on my street: 2 (one of them was the longest in UK history)
Victimless crimes committed by me: Depends, does not paying for public transport count?
Times I was mistaken for a young person at work: 1 (almost 5 years ago)
Times free health care utilized: 6
Pounds gained from a diet not exclusively but primarily of buttery potatoes: 15-20
Grey hairs found: 7 (2 of them this morning)
Professional haircuts: 0
Pets lost: 1
Pets found: 1
Old friends lost: 2
New friends found: 4
New virtual friends found: bundles
Dietary restrictions discarded: 3
New skills learned from scratch: 4
Old skills rediscovered: 2
Old skills intended to be recovered: 1
Friends who've died: 1
Parents who've almost died: 1
Abortions: 1
Important truths withheld: 2
Times the relationship that brought me here almost ended: 1 or 2
Times I swore I would move back to America: 4
Times I decided to stay here: 4
And just to get everyone up to speed, here is the last five years of my life in a condensed list.
Apartments lived in: 2
Streets lived on: 1
Jobs (not including freelance): 7
Volunteer jobs: 2
Longest employment: 1 1/2 years
Shortest employment: 1 month (only because I had to give notice, which I gave after a week)
Degrees started: 1 MA
Degrees finished: 0
Zines started: 2
Zines finished: 1 (not one of the above 2)
Countries visited (not including the US): 8
Vacations per year: 4 on Average
Times wallet stolen: 2
Times apartment burgled: 1
Times physically assaulted: 1
Police stand offs on my street: 2 (one of them was the longest in UK history)
Victimless crimes committed by me: Depends, does not paying for public transport count?
Times I was mistaken for a young person at work: 1 (almost 5 years ago)
Times free health care utilized: 6
Pounds gained from a diet not exclusively but primarily of buttery potatoes: 15-20
Grey hairs found: 7 (2 of them this morning)
Professional haircuts: 0
Pets lost: 1
Pets found: 1
Old friends lost: 2
New friends found: 4
New virtual friends found: bundles
Dietary restrictions discarded: 3
New skills learned from scratch: 4
Old skills rediscovered: 2
Old skills intended to be recovered: 1
Friends who've died: 1
Parents who've almost died: 1
Abortions: 1
Important truths withheld: 2
Times the relationship that brought me here almost ended: 1 or 2
Times I swore I would move back to America: 4
Times I decided to stay here: 4