032 [Video]
[Castiel looks quite a bit more normal now than he did the last time he made a post himself, steadfastly pretending the last post and the accompanying event never occurred. He's inside the Temple, and there's a window behind him; it's dark outside, but the snowfall is still visible through the glass.]It has been snowing for the past three days. Is
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How did you not know that?
[Someone is still mourning. Like most angels, grief turns him into a bitch.]
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I have been distracted. Your answers are noted.
[And there's a clearly unspoken 'do you have anything else to say?']
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[Lucifer never misses an opportunity to escalate things.]
By running off and killing your vessel's brain cells with some Hunter?
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You seem to have only selective issues about when I drink, and it was well warranted on that occasion.
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[He doesn't even want to argue with nerd angel. Castiel doesn't fight the way Lucifer enjoys; this is like slamming his hand in a door repeatedly, more than anything. So he compromises with himself and just forges on ahead with what is really bothering him.]
When are we getting out of here, Castiel? What's the point now? Dean's not going to remember any of this, and neither is Michael. I know you're dying to see him again but when he sees you he's going to shoot you between the eyes.
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[He ignores the first point, speaking about Dean foremost, because the hunter is the most important part of this entire thing. And he's thought about this, and it hurts.]
If it ends up being that he does not remember me, but has a chance for happiness, then so be it.
[And Sam too, and everyone else. There are ways it might work to keep Sam and Dean's memory, to pull them out of the timeline and then back in upon changing it, but it's so complicated and if he can only accomplish the easier, then he will do it.]
There is still a point, if we still care more about those we would be affecting than ourselves.
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[No. Forget it. He's aware they're in roughly the same position: they're damned and Dean and Michael face certain death or torture. It's not even about themselves but about saving their 'most important person' for lack of a better term.
And they can't even do that now. At least Lucifer can't.]
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This makes our plans more complicated. It does not make them impossible.
[They can finagle timelines, they can use other worlds. Castiel has many plans laid out in his mind, some vastly more realistic than others, but he refuses to accept failure because what awaits them all if they don't succeed is far worse than the effort of attempting.]
Giving up so quickly is foolish when the consequences are such as they are.
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You want to call it 'complicated'. We now have to open a door to our world, pull Michael from it, give me time to work on him, give you time to stop yourself and make peace with Dean. Then I have to open a door to Rhode's world, and seal it all off before it becomes unstable.
And I know this will strain a bit but be honest with me, you aren't out to help me do any of it. All you care about is getting home to Dean. If I do get trapped with Michael, that's really just icing for you, isn't it?
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He hasn't told any of his siblings but Gabriel that as far as he knew he did have a future when he planned this to begin with, and he could have been selfish. And he hasn't told anyone but Rei what he saw during the event in the end of October, what he knows somehow is truly his fate if nothing is done.
After these last two weeks, he is done playing nicely or carefully, and his voice hardens coldly when he speaks again, all angel despite his lack of grace.]Cease speaking to me as though I owe you. I could have done this alone, or with only Gabriel, but I am attempting to do the right thing the right way. That includes allowing you a chance just as it does for Anna, for Gabriel, for Michael and Raphael and all of our other siblings. Likewise for Dean, Sam, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, and countless ( ... )
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Castiel, especially, worries Lucifer. Castiel lies to everyone, without exception. He's not human and yet he's not really an angel either. Even so, perhaps deluded by the bond he has with Rhode and wishes to have with his brothers, he's come to care for Castiel.
But thinking of a life without Michael when he knows now they could have peace reminds him why he was so desperate that he began a war in the first place.]
Show me honesty. Show me loyalty, Castiel, and maybe you'll earn respect. Treat me like a partner if you can't see me as a brother, instead of treating me like a hazard or a toolAnd ( ... )
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But he'd slowly begun to do so, with Gabriel first, and though he still didn't understand his brother most of the time he'd come to love him. With Lucifer, it had been a much more tumultuous process, and it had been only within the past few months that Castiel had really begun to see his brother as an individual, instead of chesspiece.
He's beginning to wonder if it had been a mistake.]
I don't owe you loyalty. You have shown me none.
[It's not what he means to say, but as far as he can see, it's true. He's been turning a blind eye, to an almost ridiculous extent, to what Lucifer has done, his hand in the things that have happened.]
I extended an offer and took a risk because I am looking at you as more ( ... )
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[All things he hadn't set out to say, but they're said now, hanging in an abrupt and almost too-vulnerable silence.]
We need to stop hoarding secrets, Castiel, or one of us is going to fail. Or worse. I'm as guilty of it as you are. I admit it.
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He has no favorites.
[He knows the stories, he knows his own history, and he knows the parallels between the two of them. But he's also sure of this; if they were favorites, then their siblings deserve even more pity.]
If He did, one of us would have met a fate other than death or endless suffering.
[His tone goes cold again, however, at the next statements.]
I have told you everything pertinent to this plan, and to our attempts to leave here. That is all that any of us must do. As I told you before, the idea that we will keep no secrets is nonsensical.
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And if all you expect is a need to know basis, you're going to get yourself killed. You can't be so arrogant that you think you can find every angle of this situation, or notice every opportunity.
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[It's almost strange now how easy it is to speak of their Father in such a way. It's become so simple to do something he would have never dare before, but that's how many things are for him now.]
I have told you everything I know that is relevant so far, and am still in the planning stages as of now. I am not being arrogant; I am the most successful in these endeavours, and you have yet to provide anything useful yourself. If you would like to complain about not considering everything, then actually help me do so.
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