random thoughts
Sometimes I’m convinced I’m slightly bipolar, especially lately, because I’m so confident and happy sometimes and other times, well I guess I wouldn’t say I’m severely depressed or anything, but I’m just confused on what I want or what is makes me happy or sad.
I feel so mature lately. I mean my job is going well, I’m making money, I’m going over to coworker’s homes for lunch; I just feel like I have control and to outside people I look very happy and together. And I really think it’s not just looks when it comes to my happiness and togetherness; at least at the moment. But I guess I’m confused to what’s next or what I want to do later. I guess everyone goes through this what is my purpose of my life contemplating, and I’m certainly not taking it overboard. I mean living in this moment and what I am doing is fun, and most of the time I’m like oh just go with it - and when I do, I’m not unhappy, not in the least. I guess I’m just wondering what I honestly want.
And there’s this new exciting thing in my life, and I’m just perplexed to how to interpret it all, or where it’s all going. Surely it could be nothing, but it doesn’t feel like nothing, and I don’t know if I have ever felt this way this early. It’s very different than anything before. Again, I can’t explain it. Regardless, it can’t be a bad thing. Whatever happens, happens. Life is unpredictable, and I ought to, and definitely starting to be grateful for all great, fun, stuff in my life and I realizing how lucky I am. I’m confused about a lot of things right now, but what I know is that being more confident and realizing that I am worthwhile, etc. has changed a lot of my perspectives and my mood. I deserve to feel this way, and it is truly a good, good thing. So that’s cool.
These entries are often cryptic, but not cause I am purposely doing it that way, but it’s because lately, I have little ability to describe what’s be going on lately or how I feel. I guess that’s normal. I had a long, interesting weekend, and unfortunately tomorrow is Monday, so I ought to rest. Later, all.
I feel so mature lately. I mean my job is going well, I’m making money, I’m going over to coworker’s homes for lunch; I just feel like I have control and to outside people I look very happy and together. And I really think it’s not just looks when it comes to my happiness and togetherness; at least at the moment. But I guess I’m confused to what’s next or what I want to do later. I guess everyone goes through this what is my purpose of my life contemplating, and I’m certainly not taking it overboard. I mean living in this moment and what I am doing is fun, and most of the time I’m like oh just go with it - and when I do, I’m not unhappy, not in the least. I guess I’m just wondering what I honestly want.
And there’s this new exciting thing in my life, and I’m just perplexed to how to interpret it all, or where it’s all going. Surely it could be nothing, but it doesn’t feel like nothing, and I don’t know if I have ever felt this way this early. It’s very different than anything before. Again, I can’t explain it. Regardless, it can’t be a bad thing. Whatever happens, happens. Life is unpredictable, and I ought to, and definitely starting to be grateful for all great, fun, stuff in my life and I realizing how lucky I am. I’m confused about a lot of things right now, but what I know is that being more confident and realizing that I am worthwhile, etc. has changed a lot of my perspectives and my mood. I deserve to feel this way, and it is truly a good, good thing. So that’s cool.
These entries are often cryptic, but not cause I am purposely doing it that way, but it’s because lately, I have little ability to describe what’s be going on lately or how I feel. I guess that’s normal. I had a long, interesting weekend, and unfortunately tomorrow is Monday, so I ought to rest. Later, all.