drama and melodrama
this weekend i used music as a bludgeon for the first time. i pulled on my headphones and turned the music up so loud i couldn't think. because sometimes your mind just needs to be stopped. it was so nice, to sink into the Garden State soundtrack (my new drug) and shut off everything else. The Shins are amazing. Caring really is Creepy.
high school is such an emotional time. i think partly that's because it's so hard to think past high school, so everything seems so much more important. freshman year, you can't imagine ever leaving high school. four years seems like a long time. but it's not, really... it's not that long at all. it seems like a lot of the time that there's just not enough time in life. and i realize that i still have a lot of time left, but... there's so much that i want to do now and start now. but i have to wait till i become an adult, until i turn 18 or 21 or get through college etc etc etc. it's hard to focus on what i'm doing right now when i'm full of plans. or at least it has been... as i get further into college applications it gets harder and harder to think that far in the future. so much will be determined by these decisions, it seems like everything else is on hold for a while.
and sleep gets more and more important the less i get. time to remedy that situation.
high school is such an emotional time. i think partly that's because it's so hard to think past high school, so everything seems so much more important. freshman year, you can't imagine ever leaving high school. four years seems like a long time. but it's not, really... it's not that long at all. it seems like a lot of the time that there's just not enough time in life. and i realize that i still have a lot of time left, but... there's so much that i want to do now and start now. but i have to wait till i become an adult, until i turn 18 or 21 or get through college etc etc etc. it's hard to focus on what i'm doing right now when i'm full of plans. or at least it has been... as i get further into college applications it gets harder and harder to think that far in the future. so much will be determined by these decisions, it seems like everything else is on hold for a while.
and sleep gets more and more important the less i get. time to remedy that situation.