exo ; some hearts blow in the wind like falling leaves
some hearts blow in the wind like falling leaves
sehun/kai | pg | 866 words | for lindeyyy
forever isn't a word you can make promises with.
if he closes his eyes he can still feel the ghost of how it used to be - fingertips burning patterns in his skin, arms that made him feel safe and warm, lips sealing promises of i love you’s.
sometimes he’s afraid to open his eyes, worried that all memories will be replaced by reality. other days he’s afraid to close his eyes, worried that the memories are getting altered by the cruel reality.
yesterday he would’ve wanted to go back to how things used to be. tomorrow he will only focus on the future and he will fulfill the promise of living his life to the fullest. today he spends crying in bed, mourning over the past and worried about the future.
{
“i promise you forever.” sehun said it once, on a cold day in the middle of november. their noses where runny, the cold wind bringing tears to their eyes, yet sehun had told jongin to come outside, because autumn is so much better than summer.
jongin answered with a “don’t make promises you can’t keep”, pretending his heart didn’t beat that much faster and that the flush on his cheeks was purely because of the cold. sehun had pouted, then pulled him closer for a kiss and repeated the words against his lips.
}
fifty-eight days aren’t enough to get over heartbreak. even if it technically wasn’t heartbreak, but merely a break, an hiatus with a promise of return, but to jongin it feels like heartbreak nonetheless.
it’s april and it’s still too cold and it reminds him all too much of autumn and empty promises and nowadays he can’t even close his eyes without memories mocking him inside his head, without tears threatening to spill out or screams trying to claw their way out of his body.
he’s angry and mad and frustrated, but most of all he’s disappointed because he had known, they had both known that sehun made a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep - forever isn't a word you can make promises with.
{
“love scares me sometimes.” jongin hadn’t meant to say it, but it still escaped his mouth nonetheless. sehun had wrapped his arms tighter around jongin, pushing and pulling until every inch of their body was pressed together.
“are you scared of us?”
turning and tossing the words around in his head, jongin debated the question. all answers he came up with scared him - you can grow tired of me. maybe we’re just not meant to be. what if we wake up one day and we’re not in love anymore? - so he lied.
“no, i’m not scared of us. you promised me forever, remember?”
}
there are days where he catches a glimpse of sehun. the city they live in is big, but apparently not big enough. on these days he likes to pretend that he’s moved, that oh sehun are just two words inside his head that managed to collide accidentally.
he doesn’t like to dwell on these days, because then he won’t be able to pretend he didn’t look at sehun at all, he didn’t see how the imaginary-sehun inside is head doesn’t even come close to the perfectness of real-sehun. he doesn’t dwell on these days, because he’s afraid he’ll turn around and walk into the little café and plead sehun to come back.
instead, he goes to bed early, hides underneath his sheets and pretends it doesn’t hurt.
{
he has lost count of the days and weeks and months, because after the first two years it didn’t matter anymore (that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know the word break was mentioned two-thousand-five-hundred and fifty-five days ago). things have changed - his hair, his job, his house - but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a box hidden in his closet filled with memories and once upon a time’s.
“stop reminiscing,” sehun says, wrapping his arms around jongin. “you’re burning the toast.”
jongin leans back against the warm body behind him and smiles, squirming away as sehun presses teasing kisses against his neck. “you should still be in bed. and stop distracting me or you won’t get any anniversary breakfast at all.”
sehun hums in reply, slowly stepping away from him as he pulls at the waistband of jongin’s boxers. “hurry up, the bed is cold without you,” he murmurs as he saunters back to the bedroom.
}
some days jongin wakes up and he feels like he’s dreaming. he will look at sehun while he’s sleeping, he memorizes every curve and dent and he will trace stubble with his fingertips or play connect the dots with sehun’s moles, or he will press his lips against sehun’s, whisper good morning’s and i love you’s and don’t ever leave me’s.
in reply he gets good morning’s and i love you too’s and i won’t, i promise’s, but more often than not he will get shut up’s and i’m trying to sleep’s in return.
jongin doesn’t believe in forever and thinks promises that involve forever are empty and useless and insincere. but on days like these, where he feels like he’s dreaming, he can’t help but murmur it to himself.
“forever. i want to stay like this forever.”
a/n: probably not exactly what you expected with the given prompt, but i hope you'll like it nonetheless. this is sort of meant as my apology too (you know what i'm talking about).
+
my request post will stay open for a while (because i need distractions from uni and writing is a great distraction), so request if you want!
sehun/kai | pg | 866 words | for lindeyyy
forever isn't a word you can make promises with.
if he closes his eyes he can still feel the ghost of how it used to be - fingertips burning patterns in his skin, arms that made him feel safe and warm, lips sealing promises of i love you’s.
sometimes he’s afraid to open his eyes, worried that all memories will be replaced by reality. other days he’s afraid to close his eyes, worried that the memories are getting altered by the cruel reality.
yesterday he would’ve wanted to go back to how things used to be. tomorrow he will only focus on the future and he will fulfill the promise of living his life to the fullest. today he spends crying in bed, mourning over the past and worried about the future.
{
“i promise you forever.” sehun said it once, on a cold day in the middle of november. their noses where runny, the cold wind bringing tears to their eyes, yet sehun had told jongin to come outside, because autumn is so much better than summer.
jongin answered with a “don’t make promises you can’t keep”, pretending his heart didn’t beat that much faster and that the flush on his cheeks was purely because of the cold. sehun had pouted, then pulled him closer for a kiss and repeated the words against his lips.
}
fifty-eight days aren’t enough to get over heartbreak. even if it technically wasn’t heartbreak, but merely a break, an hiatus with a promise of return, but to jongin it feels like heartbreak nonetheless.
it’s april and it’s still too cold and it reminds him all too much of autumn and empty promises and nowadays he can’t even close his eyes without memories mocking him inside his head, without tears threatening to spill out or screams trying to claw their way out of his body.
he’s angry and mad and frustrated, but most of all he’s disappointed because he had known, they had both known that sehun made a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep - forever isn't a word you can make promises with.
{
“love scares me sometimes.” jongin hadn’t meant to say it, but it still escaped his mouth nonetheless. sehun had wrapped his arms tighter around jongin, pushing and pulling until every inch of their body was pressed together.
“are you scared of us?”
turning and tossing the words around in his head, jongin debated the question. all answers he came up with scared him - you can grow tired of me. maybe we’re just not meant to be. what if we wake up one day and we’re not in love anymore? - so he lied.
“no, i’m not scared of us. you promised me forever, remember?”
}
there are days where he catches a glimpse of sehun. the city they live in is big, but apparently not big enough. on these days he likes to pretend that he’s moved, that oh sehun are just two words inside his head that managed to collide accidentally.
he doesn’t like to dwell on these days, because then he won’t be able to pretend he didn’t look at sehun at all, he didn’t see how the imaginary-sehun inside is head doesn’t even come close to the perfectness of real-sehun. he doesn’t dwell on these days, because he’s afraid he’ll turn around and walk into the little café and plead sehun to come back.
instead, he goes to bed early, hides underneath his sheets and pretends it doesn’t hurt.
{
he has lost count of the days and weeks and months, because after the first two years it didn’t matter anymore (that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know the word break was mentioned two-thousand-five-hundred and fifty-five days ago). things have changed - his hair, his job, his house - but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a box hidden in his closet filled with memories and once upon a time’s.
“stop reminiscing,” sehun says, wrapping his arms around jongin. “you’re burning the toast.”
jongin leans back against the warm body behind him and smiles, squirming away as sehun presses teasing kisses against his neck. “you should still be in bed. and stop distracting me or you won’t get any anniversary breakfast at all.”
sehun hums in reply, slowly stepping away from him as he pulls at the waistband of jongin’s boxers. “hurry up, the bed is cold without you,” he murmurs as he saunters back to the bedroom.
}
some days jongin wakes up and he feels like he’s dreaming. he will look at sehun while he’s sleeping, he memorizes every curve and dent and he will trace stubble with his fingertips or play connect the dots with sehun’s moles, or he will press his lips against sehun’s, whisper good morning’s and i love you’s and don’t ever leave me’s.
in reply he gets good morning’s and i love you too’s and i won’t, i promise’s, but more often than not he will get shut up’s and i’m trying to sleep’s in return.
jongin doesn’t believe in forever and thinks promises that involve forever are empty and useless and insincere. but on days like these, where he feels like he’s dreaming, he can’t help but murmur it to himself.
“forever. i want to stay like this forever.”
a/n: probably not exactly what you expected with the given prompt, but i hope you'll like it nonetheless. this is sort of meant as my apology too (you know what i'm talking about).
+
my request post will stay open for a while (because i need distractions from uni and writing is a great distraction), so request if you want!