Rage Is Not a Four Letter Word
We've more or less agreed to talk again once we know for sure.
I e-mailed a rather cold and distant letter to him letting him know I'm not terminating anything just to cover for his mistakes. I also made it clear that if he's not up to the task of parenthood I am fine with that. His response is that it's irresponsible to bring a child into this world while no one involved is prepared. May as well play it safe, right? Except that's not what I wanted and I made that clear at lunch. Despite my tired, nervous and fidgety behavior around him (I'm so disgusted I can't look at him) I prevailed. I'm assuming from his demeanor and silence he's frustrated he didn't get his way. Good.
Sprout's interpretation of the issue is that the potential father is "the type of dude who just manipulates people (and especially women) into doing what he wants and is completely egotistical." Surprise, surprise.
I keep thinking I know what I want and then someone makes a good clear argument against this. So I waffle and I feel crushed by reality. Nothing's certain yet but I feel like things are being decided for me. David's mom gave me insight to what a parent who raised an adopted child feels. She also pointed out I'm still young and struggling, but...
Well. I have confidence in myself. At least until someone else tells me I can't.
Oh and the son of a bitch invited me to his birthday thing tomorrow in a SMOKE FILLED BAR.
In other news... uhm, well there really isn't any at this point. I'm exhausted though. I've been at a conference in Alexandria and it was amazing. Like a job fair for the USPTO and possibilities. If he didn't work there I would be all over that bitch. As it is the agency is tainted in my eyes right now.
Good episode but I feel like it hits close to home: http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/video/episodes/?vid=834222#vid=834222
I e-mailed a rather cold and distant letter to him letting him know I'm not terminating anything just to cover for his mistakes. I also made it clear that if he's not up to the task of parenthood I am fine with that. His response is that it's irresponsible to bring a child into this world while no one involved is prepared. May as well play it safe, right? Except that's not what I wanted and I made that clear at lunch. Despite my tired, nervous and fidgety behavior around him (I'm so disgusted I can't look at him) I prevailed. I'm assuming from his demeanor and silence he's frustrated he didn't get his way. Good.
Sprout's interpretation of the issue is that the potential father is "the type of dude who just manipulates people (and especially women) into doing what he wants and is completely egotistical." Surprise, surprise.
I keep thinking I know what I want and then someone makes a good clear argument against this. So I waffle and I feel crushed by reality. Nothing's certain yet but I feel like things are being decided for me. David's mom gave me insight to what a parent who raised an adopted child feels. She also pointed out I'm still young and struggling, but...
Well. I have confidence in myself. At least until someone else tells me I can't.
Oh and the son of a bitch invited me to his birthday thing tomorrow in a SMOKE FILLED BAR.
In other news... uhm, well there really isn't any at this point. I'm exhausted though. I've been at a conference in Alexandria and it was amazing. Like a job fair for the USPTO and possibilities. If he didn't work there I would be all over that bitch. As it is the agency is tainted in my eyes right now.
Good episode but I feel like it hits close to home: http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/video/episodes/?vid=834222#vid=834222