Falk I have a big JAR ON MY DeSK!

[wiltsybodies]

Mike Wee is a fuck nut heheehee. The lucky bastard just got a new Line 6 amp and a crazy effects pedal thingy that has like a zillion effects on it. Now I gotta go out and buy new gear or am gonna sound like shit

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[oreo_cow]

It was after this point that I came up with a great idea. I will admit that it is the sickest thing I have ever done, but I do not regret it. If you ever meet this guy, you will actually thank me. He is the dirt of all dirt, and the only person to blame is himself. I was thinking that I was probably going to stretch this story a little bit, to make him sound even grosser than he is, but that is honestly impossible. This story, written here, without any emotion into my words, doesn't come close to explaining how disgusting this guy is. You can't explain it with words. You have to see for yourself.

Anyway, back to my great idea.

We decided that I was going to wipe my ass with a cigarette and leave it on his doorstep. I decided to do so. I then thought about it, as I was taking a dump, and realized that I shouldn't give him a full cigarette. HE might think that something is up with that. So, I proceeded to smoke half of it, then I put it out in the shitty pissy water in the toilet. I had just finished crapping at this time. I didn't think that was enough. I had this cigarette by the dry side and decided that it would be funny to stick the butt end of it up my nose. Now, it's cold there, so all my boogers were frozen, right up until I went into the warm bathroom. In other words, I had some damn runny boogers going on. Those boogers made it to the butt end of the cigarette. I basically blew my nose on the cigarette.

Now, this is the gross part. After this, I decided that it would be funny to do some more to this cigarette. I hadn't wiped my ass yet, so I did so, then pressed the butt of the cigarette on a nice piece of shit that was caked to the toilet paper. There were little shits hanging off the end of the cigarette! It was soooo gross!!!!!

I finished my duties and decided to show my fellow workers what I had done to this now sickly dirty and disease infested cigarette... no, I don't have any diseases. Anyway, they said it was fucking sick, so, I threw it on the dudes porch. Benson didn't like the idea of it being so close to his house, so he kicked it off onto the sidewalk. I wasn't too happy about that, considering the time it took me to create this cigarette of doom.

I then worked as the cigarette wallowed in its on crapulence on the sidewalk. After about half an hour, we noticed the guy, and his family, leave his apartment building. After they weren't in sight anymore, I ran over to where the cigarette was to find.... NOTHING!! THE FUCKING DUDE SMOKES MY BOOGERY, SHITTY AND PISS/SHIT WATERED DOWN CIGARETTE!!! HOW FUCKING SICK IS THAT!!!

Now, normally I would feel so horrible about doing something like this to anyone, but this guy is an exception. He isn't even human to me. He is the dirt that evolution should have taken care of years ago, but has somehow made it through to taunt normal people and give scientists something to ponder about the way humans were created. He is such a disgusting mess. I honestly wish I did more shitty things to that cigarette, literally.

Anyway, that's my story. I hope you like it.

[wiltsybodies]

Man... I am actually disturbed by what you did. I don't think that anyone, no matter how horrible they might look or smell deserves something like that. What pops into my head is the Iraq prisoner scandal. I hope this story is a joke...