Motive: But He Chose Her
But He Chose Her
Pairings: Zack Addy / Jack Hodgins (one-sided), Jack Hodgins / Angela Montenegro (Bones)
Series: Motive
Rating: M
Summary: After all they’ve been through, he chose her.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Bones, because if I did, it would be kick ass.
Warning: This contains implied slash, alcoholism, depression, and murder. You have been warned.
Author’s Note: The first story in the Motive series, which is told from Zack’s point of view. It’s pretty depressing. Also, the male he refers to is Hodgins and the female is Angela.
*
I heard her giggling in the storage closet with him, the smash of a test tube falling off the shelf to the ground, his voice calling her name.
It was so hard for me to try to concentrate on the bones in front of me while the love of my life was having sexual relations with her.
She knew how I felt about him.
She was the first to know.
She supported us when I was with him.
She knew I loved him.
Dr. Sweets and I have been having regular sessions about the pain this was causing.
I was depressed.
I sought comfort in bottles and bottles of liquor, which was not logical in the slightest, and I knew it.
I haven’t driven to work with him for months.
I’d rather ride the bus than suffer through the car ride with him, trying to hold back tears.
Working early in the mornings or late into the night was my best bet to get my work done.
They’d leave before the rest of us and come in the next day hours late, always with messy hair and goofy smiles that made me feel like I was getting stabbed in the heart over and over again.
My free time was normally spent in the morgue, the break room, the bathroom, an empty lab, any place I could be alone to just sit it out and cry.
Agent Booth found me in this state on more than one occasion, and sometimes would let me take a sip from the tiny flask he hid from Dr. Brennan.
Most nights I reminisce on better times.
When I was his little Zacky.
When we would spend our nights together.
When he said he loved me too.
Now, he says he loves her.
I always start to cry when I hear him say that.
I almost feel like dying.
It’s irrational, I know, but it feels like I can’t breathe without him.
If Dr. Brennan says he and I have to perform an experiment together, we never have as much fun as we used to when I was still just a grad student here.
He tends not to look me in the eyes anymore.
I guess eye contact was reserved for current lovers, not the best friend who’s still in love.
Naomi’s called me for one-night-stands lately, but I always politely decline.
He was the one.
Before I came to work at the Jeffersonian, I was as heterosexual as Agent Booth, or so I thought.
I feel sick when I see them together, like I could just throw up right there on the floor.
Dr. Saroyan would send me home early some days or offer me a ride home if it was really late.
Some days, I’d sleep on a lab table if the bus routes were done for the night, and Dr. Brennan would hand me a cup of coffee to wake me the next morning.
I’d kill to have things the way they used to be.
I’d kill for him.
I did kill for him.
The death of that lobbyist was my doing, logical or not.
I worked for the Master now.
That’s why I had to switch the chemicals.
I knew it would cause an explosion.
And I risked it all to save him.
All because I loved him, and I always would love him.
But he chose her.