And The Rain Fell Like Tears
And The Rain Fell Like Tears
Pairings: Zack Addy / Jack Hodgins (one-sided), Jack Hodgins / Angela Montenegro (Bones)
Rating: PG - PG-13 (maybe?)
Summary: Zack uses his time in the loony bin to think about the people he cares about, especially Hodgins.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones, because if I did, I would’ve killed off Angela by now and Hodgins would be doing Zack in the loony bin as we speak.
Warning: Pretty much the only things this contains are Ange M. hate and a depressed Zacky. You have been warned.
Author’s Notes: Told from Zack’s point of view and was thought up when I was watching Bones while it was raining out and a little depressed myself. Lord Henry and Dorian are from The Picture of Dorian Gray by the amazing Oscar Wilde, an inspiration to all writers, even after his death over one hundred years ago. Enjoy.
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When you’re locked up in the loony bin, you have lots of time to think.
Some people use that time to find the meaning of life.
Others use it to come up with an escape plan of any kind.
I use it to think about the people I care about.
My family in Michigan was always on my mind.
After all, they are my flesh and blood.
I thought about my other family often too, my friends and co-workers at the Jeffersonian.
I missed Dr. Brennan’s mentoring views.
My banters with Agent Booth.
Dr. Saroyan’s praise and insights.
The arguments with Angela over case details.
But most of all, I missed Hodgins.
He was my best friend.
I won’t even be around for his wedding to Angela once her husband signs the divorce paperwork.
The funny thing was that I was almost…glad.
Glad they couldn’t marry.
It was a terribly rude and harsh thing to think about one’s best friend, I know, but it was true none the less.
Dr. Sweets says that maybe if I work through these issues, I could be sane again.
Maybe it was just the insanity talking.
After all, I am in the loony bin.
I just don’t know though.
Even before all this happened, I always had a thing for Hodgins.
He always looked really cute to me, cuter than Angela or Dr. Brennan or Dr. Saroyan or all three of them combined.
Or Naomi from Paleontology, for that matter.
I hid my feeling for him for all these years, if only so I could assure our friendship would be a “caprice,” much like the friendship of Lord Henry and Dorian in that fateful book I read as a child.
Then who was I?
Was I the corrupted or the corrupter?
Hodgins, light of my life, could neither be the one to corrupt me, nor the one to become corrupted.
True, his will was strong, but he could not corrupt.
Though he has caused me great pain.
His love for Angela caused my heart to ache in despair.
I should be happy for him, as a best friend should, but I can not be.
I almost wish she would just fall back in love with her husband and leave Hodgins with me, like the way it used to be before they got together.
When I was still a grad student in the lab, Hodgins and I would experiment on fake bodies made of Spam, and afterwards, he’d drive me home so I could spend the night dreaming of what his skin would feel like against my own.
When he was with Angela, half the nights I would have to take the bus home, and every time I’d lay my head down on my pillow, I would cry over the fact that he wasn’t mine.
He’d never be mine.
The loony bin doesn’t have too many windows.
Luckily, my room does, though the small window is barred and just above eye level.
Lying on my back, I stared outside from the safety of my thin mattress.
Thick, black clouds decorated the gray skies as thunder rang out through the air.
And the rain fell like tears.
My tears.
And I knew Hodgins would never, ever be mine.