fuck school. it feels so good.

[willylumplump]

I had sex with school today. I put my big hard dick in the front door of the undergrad library and slammed it closed so, so, so many times. the door actually closed on my penis because I slammed it so hard that my penis bent to the pressure. but holy shit! as if that was not good enough, the door fucking locked. man. I mean, listen: I thought I could get away with this door sex thing because I would do it fast and nobody would be looking. but when the door locked with my penis stuck in it, I realized I was in deep shit. and then, as if god hated me (I think he does), the fire alarm went off in the building. and nobody was in it, so nobody left, so nobody opened the door. instead, there was an actual fire. but I was later to find out that the fire department didn't hear the alarm go off because nobody was listening. so I was standing there trying to pull myself away from the door, surrounded by a giant burning building. after about ten minutes of tugging and crying, I could feel the flames start to lick my penis. I came. and thank god I did, because it put the entire fire out. so I have some burns on my dick but thats normal when I have sex anyway. thank god nothing about that story ended up being weird.

ok enough crack.

I took a test today. I hope I failed. I have one tomorrow then I'm done. thank god. my friend is getting married in a few days. I think I'll buy him an espresso machine or a loaf of bread. yeah, I also think its strange that I would buy him bread, but everyone always talks about how sliced bread is so great but I have yet to try it. I hear wheat is good. but again I don't know anything about that shit. I usually just put ham and mustard on a piece of paper and thats my sandwich. I'll have to sneak a piece of this thing called "bread."

am I fucking insane?