Dan & Reena's wedding
I just spent about 48 hours at the Normandy Farms hotel outside of Philly, at my friends’ Dan and Reena’s wedding. I had a really great time for a lot of reasons, not least that there was a mini Haverford-Bryn Mawr reunion among the guests, and I saw several people I have not seen in 2, 5, 10 years. Of course some of them now have spouses and children. It amused me a lot to discover how little we had all changed in most ways -- even though many of our rougher edges had smoothed out over the years, our basic mannerisms were still the same. This was actually pleasant most of the time.
Reena and Dan made the wedding a whole weekend event, not just a service-reception, and the various activities were all things that were fun, significant, or important to one or both of them. That was an excellent call. I think most of us wanted more time. I met at least a half-dozen people who I would love to see again. We had yoga, games, dancing, guitars & singing, roasting & toasting, several meals, all before the actual ceremony. It makes so much sense for a wedding (if you’re going to bother with it) to be an bringing together of communities and families, taking the time to do that properly, instead of just a few hours when you hardly get to see anyone. And they also avoided there being tons of pressure for the ceremony to be perfect, because by the time ceremony arrived we were all having a good time and were part of the union that was being formed. (I remember the same being true at Foxy and Rachel’s wedding five years ago.)
In the ceremony itself, there was a neat emphasis in the blessings on the continuing individuality of each person: this marriage is about commitment of two people to each other, not two people becoming one. I found that to be very refreshing, since usually what I hear in at weddings is all this stuff about the ultimate bond being formed between two people. There can be so much pressure for a marriage to be the only relationship you’ll ever need, the rock-solid basis for a family (and, by extension, all of society), the salvation of both partners. Pretty impossible for any relationship to live up to that. Much more realistic to realistic to emphasize the individuals and the commitment they make to each other.
Reena and Dan made the wedding a whole weekend event, not just a service-reception, and the various activities were all things that were fun, significant, or important to one or both of them. That was an excellent call. I think most of us wanted more time. I met at least a half-dozen people who I would love to see again. We had yoga, games, dancing, guitars & singing, roasting & toasting, several meals, all before the actual ceremony. It makes so much sense for a wedding (if you’re going to bother with it) to be an bringing together of communities and families, taking the time to do that properly, instead of just a few hours when you hardly get to see anyone. And they also avoided there being tons of pressure for the ceremony to be perfect, because by the time ceremony arrived we were all having a good time and were part of the union that was being formed. (I remember the same being true at Foxy and Rachel’s wedding five years ago.)
In the ceremony itself, there was a neat emphasis in the blessings on the continuing individuality of each person: this marriage is about commitment of two people to each other, not two people becoming one. I found that to be very refreshing, since usually what I hear in at weddings is all this stuff about the ultimate bond being formed between two people. There can be so much pressure for a marriage to be the only relationship you’ll ever need, the rock-solid basis for a family (and, by extension, all of society), the salvation of both partners. Pretty impossible for any relationship to live up to that. Much more realistic to realistic to emphasize the individuals and the commitment they make to each other.