Some thoughts...
Apparently Kennedy's staying in a Motel or something somewhere, after having gone out patrolling and being found by Giles and Angel in the graveyard. Buffy says she's okay. I'm really relieved. I knew she had left the house, but I guess I figured she'd have sense enough to at least stay off slayer duties while she was still weak and under the thrall. Sometimes I forget how rash she can be...
Movie, icecream and some much needed talking with Buffy tonight...
I know she got upset with me for my excuses, and I know that she and Oz think I'm full of shit for doing what they see as some sort of Willow-180 or something...but I just can't bring myself to try to explain the main reasons I'm doing this. They'd probably understand them better...but right now, I just don't want to talk about them.
Lots of things going through my head right now. Haven't been dealing so well with the whole Kennedy being a slayer thing. I mean, yeah, Buffy's my best friend and SHE'S a slayer...heck, she's THE Slayer...but, it's different. She's my best friend - I'm not dating her...and Buffy's not new to it, and she doesn't make a habit of jumping the gun and doing crazy dangerous things like seeking slayer-killing Knights and trying to kill them, until she's got all her info down, ya know?
And also...there's Tara. And the Kennedy being a slayer thing ties into that a bit too. I mean...Tara died while just standing there. Kennedy's going out and looking for trouble, finding it, and lately taking on a lot more than she can handle...
But there's more than that where Tara's concerned. Yeah, I know. Dealt, turned into her killer, Kennedy brought me out of it and all that happy stuff. But not. I mean...it was better. I had stopped thinking about her so much, and I did move on...
But since we've moved to Cleveland...it's all back...like, I'm thinking about her more than should be the normal amount of thinkage. And starting in with the missing her so much it hurts thing again.
I wonder if it has something to do with some evil bad memory demon or something creeping around in the Hellmouth. I kinda hope it's a demon or something that can be fixed.
Cuz if it's just me...then does that mean I've been stringing Kennedy along all this time?
No. That's not it. I really love her...I do...
I just can't love her like this...
Movie, icecream and some much needed talking with Buffy tonight...
I know she got upset with me for my excuses, and I know that she and Oz think I'm full of shit for doing what they see as some sort of Willow-180 or something...but I just can't bring myself to try to explain the main reasons I'm doing this. They'd probably understand them better...but right now, I just don't want to talk about them.
Lots of things going through my head right now. Haven't been dealing so well with the whole Kennedy being a slayer thing. I mean, yeah, Buffy's my best friend and SHE'S a slayer...heck, she's THE Slayer...but, it's different. She's my best friend - I'm not dating her...and Buffy's not new to it, and she doesn't make a habit of jumping the gun and doing crazy dangerous things like seeking slayer-killing Knights and trying to kill them, until she's got all her info down, ya know?
And also...there's Tara. And the Kennedy being a slayer thing ties into that a bit too. I mean...Tara died while just standing there. Kennedy's going out and looking for trouble, finding it, and lately taking on a lot more than she can handle...
But there's more than that where Tara's concerned. Yeah, I know. Dealt, turned into her killer, Kennedy brought me out of it and all that happy stuff. But not. I mean...it was better. I had stopped thinking about her so much, and I did move on...
But since we've moved to Cleveland...it's all back...like, I'm thinking about her more than should be the normal amount of thinkage. And starting in with the missing her so much it hurts thing again.
I wonder if it has something to do with some evil bad memory demon or something creeping around in the Hellmouth. I kinda hope it's a demon or something that can be fixed.
Cuz if it's just me...then does that mean I've been stringing Kennedy along all this time?
No. That's not it. I really love her...I do...
I just can't love her like this...