Frozen
I got to my breaking point with work again yesterday. If I had more than what little I do in the bank to get me through the next week I likely would've quit via phone and been done with it. Instead I decided for the more practical approach and spent hours pouring through job ads in the local paper and online, saving 3 administrative-related positions out - two of them in legal settings.
I updated & printed my resume this morning and typed out a cover letter to one attorney but I haven't printed it yet. My old supervisor from downstairs said she'd give me a recommendation and talk about my work no problem so that theoretically I could use her as my reference here, get hired elsewhere and then just up and quit - leaving assholes #1 & #2 to deal with the aftermath.
Yet...I haven't put the resume & letter into a pdf and emailed it to that lawyer yet - suddenly I feel frozen mid-step :(
I've never quit a job before (unless you count the 2 shift stint at the craft store that I did just for the hell of it a while back - I just wanted the discount and had the spare time then), and it feels much against my character to do something that really would be awful to them. However, they haven't been holding up their end of our bargain relating to my agreeing to stay here...and despite my pleas things aren't changing and no amount of my effort seems to be furthering us toward those ends.
While fiscally keeping this job makes sense - a lot of sense (provided that they actually hold up to our agreement), I just don't know if emotionally and spiritually I can continue putting myself through this for another 6 months. How big of a toll will this have in the end? Yet again I'm back to money vs. happiness/health.
*sigh*
This job might pay almost as well - plus no 120 mile commute twice a week - and it's 20-30 hrs a week so I could, in theory, have time to have a massage business and not totally burn out. I should just apply and see what happens - only issue would be if he contacted my boss (despite writing clearly on my resume and in my cover letter to call the other woman instead.)
Action won't happen unless I take some - from there I've got to trust that spirit will work things out just as they're supposed to. Maybe I just need to ask by action.
I updated & printed my resume this morning and typed out a cover letter to one attorney but I haven't printed it yet. My old supervisor from downstairs said she'd give me a recommendation and talk about my work no problem so that theoretically I could use her as my reference here, get hired elsewhere and then just up and quit - leaving assholes #1 & #2 to deal with the aftermath.
Yet...I haven't put the resume & letter into a pdf and emailed it to that lawyer yet - suddenly I feel frozen mid-step :(
I've never quit a job before (unless you count the 2 shift stint at the craft store that I did just for the hell of it a while back - I just wanted the discount and had the spare time then), and it feels much against my character to do something that really would be awful to them. However, they haven't been holding up their end of our bargain relating to my agreeing to stay here...and despite my pleas things aren't changing and no amount of my effort seems to be furthering us toward those ends.
While fiscally keeping this job makes sense - a lot of sense (provided that they actually hold up to our agreement), I just don't know if emotionally and spiritually I can continue putting myself through this for another 6 months. How big of a toll will this have in the end? Yet again I'm back to money vs. happiness/health.
*sigh*
This job might pay almost as well - plus no 120 mile commute twice a week - and it's 20-30 hrs a week so I could, in theory, have time to have a massage business and not totally burn out. I should just apply and see what happens - only issue would be if he contacted my boss (despite writing clearly on my resume and in my cover letter to call the other woman instead.)
Action won't happen unless I take some - from there I've got to trust that spirit will work things out just as they're supposed to. Maybe I just need to ask by action.