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It's Christmas to ones, simple holidays to others. For me it was time to relax, leave the laptop behind and give myself to the pleasure of random writing with my Moleskine and a pen.
Here goes one of those moments, the one I liked the most:
"There's no world around, no world outside: just me and the songs that make me live my memories of happier times, over and over again.
The grey sky and the few raindrops ease the pain that I always carry.
I miss you so much that I'm afraid of breathing, afraid of facing the world in all my weakness, afraid of diluting in what surrounds me, afraid of becoming "greyer" than the sky or as white as the snow.
Friend embrace me and I feel them as family, but they're neither friends as the ones I left behind and that know me better than I know myself, nor the family that cries for me and waits for my return.
Yes, we can't chose our family, but with all the defects they are my family, the ones that loved me first, the ones doing all the sacrifices for me to be happy.
But my friends love me too, they miss me the way I miss them, the way I miss you and the warmth of your skin or the sweet taste of your lips.
This was what I wished for, this was all I wanted: a new beginning, a new life. And I got all I wished for, I got my new beginning, my new life.
I now remember one song by Metallica, King Nothing: "Care for what you wish you may regret it, Care for what you wish you just might get it!"
I guess I got what I wished for and Now maybe I'm regretting it a little bit.
Days go by and I'm more and more used to this new life. Times are when I forget the past, forget parts of my former life, embrace this new one and imagine it as my future. But my future is empty if you're not in it, my future is useless, meaningless if I don't have you to share it with.
Today, Christmas day, I let the wind kiss my hair, or just what's left of it, and it felt so good!
Yeah, I was closed over myself, facing just my belly button, lost in the memories. But that little part of the real world crossed all the barriers and kissed me deep. I think it was you, kissing me from far away and I smiled!...
Now I face the warmth of the subway going towards my little bubble where people respect me, enjoy me and make me forget for few moments how much it hurts."
Here goes one of those moments, the one I liked the most:
"There's no world around, no world outside: just me and the songs that make me live my memories of happier times, over and over again.
The grey sky and the few raindrops ease the pain that I always carry.
I miss you so much that I'm afraid of breathing, afraid of facing the world in all my weakness, afraid of diluting in what surrounds me, afraid of becoming "greyer" than the sky or as white as the snow.
Friend embrace me and I feel them as family, but they're neither friends as the ones I left behind and that know me better than I know myself, nor the family that cries for me and waits for my return.
Yes, we can't chose our family, but with all the defects they are my family, the ones that loved me first, the ones doing all the sacrifices for me to be happy.
But my friends love me too, they miss me the way I miss them, the way I miss you and the warmth of your skin or the sweet taste of your lips.
This was what I wished for, this was all I wanted: a new beginning, a new life. And I got all I wished for, I got my new beginning, my new life.
I now remember one song by Metallica, King Nothing: "Care for what you wish you may regret it, Care for what you wish you just might get it!"
I guess I got what I wished for and Now maybe I'm regretting it a little bit.
Days go by and I'm more and more used to this new life. Times are when I forget the past, forget parts of my former life, embrace this new one and imagine it as my future. But my future is empty if you're not in it, my future is useless, meaningless if I don't have you to share it with.
Today, Christmas day, I let the wind kiss my hair, or just what's left of it, and it felt so good!
Yeah, I was closed over myself, facing just my belly button, lost in the memories. But that little part of the real world crossed all the barriers and kissed me deep. I think it was you, kissing me from far away and I smiled!...
Now I face the warmth of the subway going towards my little bubble where people respect me, enjoy me and make me forget for few moments how much it hurts."