Bruce Wayne's Room at the Arms, Sunday afternoon

[willbethenight]

Things were going well. Sure, Bruce's goddamned twin, Batman, the District Attorney of Fandom, shut down his caffeine supply chain and he lost a couple of his best caffeine customers to tragic accidents. But for the mere price of several orphans, Bruce opened up some new caffeine supplies. Better stuff than he had been dealing in before. And he was

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[amthenight]

POW!

"You've gone too far this time, brother!" Batman declared. "You can't become Governor! I won't let you!"

[willbethenight]

"Batman!" Bruce said after the punch knocked him onto the bed. "How did you get in here? My guards!"

[amthenight]

"Are outside," Batman said, jumping onto Bruce to grapple with him in a way where nobody threw punches unless they really had to because fight choreography was difficult. "Meanwhile, I was in here the whole time." Punch.

[willbethenight]

"In my room?" Bruce asked, grabbing onto Batman's shoulders and shaking him generally.

[amthenight]

"No!" Punch. "Well, actually, yes, but I was being more specific. I was in here." That time, Batman didn't punch. He just poked Bruce in the forehead with one finger. "You still don't get it?"

[willbethenight]

"Get what?" Bruce asked. "What are you talking about?"

[amthenight]

"I didn't understand until after I got the call about the bakery robbery this morning," Batman said. "Thinking about all the crime I've been unable to prevent here in Fandom, I comforted myself with my nervous habit of stroking my wonderful mustache."

[willbethenight]

"It's a great mustache. I've never been able to grow one and I've always hated you for it," Bruce said.

[amthenight]

"I know. Which is why it surprised me to find that I HAD NO MUSTACHE. Just bare lip, my brother," Batman said. He reached up to his lip and RIPPED the mustache off. "It's fake."

[willbethenight]

"What?" Bruce asked. "What does that mean?"

[amthenight]

"And my cowl?" Batman asked. "Look at your bedsheet."

[willbethenight]

"It's... black that shows some blue in the light," Bruce said.

[amthenight]

"When did I first appear, Bruce? When did I arrive in Fandom?" Batman demanded.

[willbethenight]

"Shortly after I recovered from the massive brain trauma that caused my amnesia all those years ago," Bruce gasped. "Which means..."

[amthenight]

"Which means I'm not your greatest enemy. You are," Batman said, letting go of Bruce and standing up to pace around the room while he monologued. "All this time, I've been the good part of you that you were unwilling to let out. But once you suffered that massive brain trauma, you couldn't stop me. While you were setting up your drug and orphan empire, I was going to law school. While you were breaking away from the mobs to go out on your own, I was prosecuting them. And while you were limiting the amount of evil you could bring into the world, I would have been willing to outweigh your evil with the good I can do. But I realize now that it's a losing proposition. Especially if you become governor."

[willbethenight]

"But what does this mean? For my life?" Bruce asked, sitting up and hunching over to process all of it.