Email to Xander
To: misterwfan@hotmail.com
From: bitterwfan@gmail.com
Subject: Hi hi hi!!!!!
Hey Xander!
I'm settling into my new school which, much like Buffy, you assume is a college. I've already made a date to go visit the library with a girl named Hermione. No, not THAT kind of date, doofus. A going to see books and partake of learning and possibly find out if the library here is also located on top of a Hellmouth kind of a date. Apparently you need to get a pass to do that.
I don't actually know if this place is on a Hellmouth but one of the cute boys students here doesn't know what a TV or a vending machine is. Another one of the cute boys students says he fights monsters almost every week. And ANOTHER one of the cute boys students says his mom was killed by a demon so now he hunts them down. Plus! PLUS!! There's a cute boy student who totally agrees that tuna are up to something and I know you mocked me for saying that they knew how to follow people but the earth is mostly water and THEY COULD FIND A WAY!!!
Also apparently boys and girls are allowed to room together here and that's just sick and wrong.
Do you think if Oz and I had lived together he wouldn't have cheated on me?
Off to go do learny things and try to track a library pass down. Bye!
Willow
PS: Are you gay?
***
To: bitterwfan@gmail.com
From: misterwfan@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Hi hi hi!!!!!
Not know TV? Not know vending machines?? THAT is the sick and the wrong. Co-ed rooming type situations, OTOH, sound like fun for the whole family. Though not actually the whole family because we are not living in Arkensas. But if they'd put that on the brochures for UC of SunnyD I may have actually tried opening books to find out what those strange symbols inside were for. I believe your people call them "words."
Also Oz was the doofus and everything he did was not your fault. Yeah, I know you didn't type it, but I am possessed of the magical powers of the BFF. I see all. I know all. I dispense of the sage wisdom and wise nods of understanding about the doofocity of men everywhere.
> PS: Are you gay?
Oh yeah. Gayer than a gay thing that gays a lot. Know what I'm doing right now? Having sex with Spike.
Xander.
***
To: misterwfan@hotmail.com
From: bitterwfan@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Hi hi hi!!!!!
> Know what I'm doing right now? Having sex with Spike.
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!