So here i am
An update from me....fun fun fun.
My leave has been great. At first i really found it difficult to get used to normal sleep patterns, i was doing better then woke up at 5am today and couldn't get back to sleep.
But i'm not ok.
Yesterday, i cooked mexican for the junior doctors. I did a lot of food, spent most of the day preparing and cooking it. But during the day all i ate was a cheese scone. Then when everyone came round, i started on the wine, had 2 wraps, some nachos, and then purged. I made so much food and didn't eat it, i made brownies, yet didn't even try one. And i threw up. Slowly i know i am heading towards bad things again. I can't let that happen. But i tried looking for a support group and stuff and it doesn't seem like there is much available. Today i joined the a gp practice. So hopefully if things get bad i at least have that to turn to. Today, i had some food about 6am, then lunch around midday. I might not have eaten logical things, or eaten enough, but i have eaten, and i will eat again this evening. However its the mess party, i may drink, and then i may vomit. I don't want to and will probably not drink too much to avoid that.
I made a bit of a prat of myself last night. While drunk i said some stuff and i probably shouldn't. Will see tonight have people react to me. Hopefully they'll realise i was just very very drunk. I did then storm off though and walk home on my own. It was horrible, i was having such a bad night (re:above) and so drank to reach oblivion. Not healthy i know. But still. Just hope tonight is better.
And caz, i am still planning on coming to glasgow when i have some money and time and kidnapping you for a couple of days. I am your stalker and there is no escape. Mwahahaha.
My leave has been great. At first i really found it difficult to get used to normal sleep patterns, i was doing better then woke up at 5am today and couldn't get back to sleep.
But i'm not ok.
Yesterday, i cooked mexican for the junior doctors. I did a lot of food, spent most of the day preparing and cooking it. But during the day all i ate was a cheese scone. Then when everyone came round, i started on the wine, had 2 wraps, some nachos, and then purged. I made so much food and didn't eat it, i made brownies, yet didn't even try one. And i threw up. Slowly i know i am heading towards bad things again. I can't let that happen. But i tried looking for a support group and stuff and it doesn't seem like there is much available. Today i joined the a gp practice. So hopefully if things get bad i at least have that to turn to. Today, i had some food about 6am, then lunch around midday. I might not have eaten logical things, or eaten enough, but i have eaten, and i will eat again this evening. However its the mess party, i may drink, and then i may vomit. I don't want to and will probably not drink too much to avoid that.
I made a bit of a prat of myself last night. While drunk i said some stuff and i probably shouldn't. Will see tonight have people react to me. Hopefully they'll realise i was just very very drunk. I did then storm off though and walk home on my own. It was horrible, i was having such a bad night (re:above) and so drank to reach oblivion. Not healthy i know. But still. Just hope tonight is better.
And caz, i am still planning on coming to glasgow when i have some money and time and kidnapping you for a couple of days. I am your stalker and there is no escape. Mwahahaha.