So far past tired.....
....that i've now gone manic.
This is never good for me. It makes me jittery, it makes me not eat, it makes me a wreck really. Tonight hasn't been great work wise, at times considered screaming at the SHO/Reg. but i made it through. Earlier i was ready to fall asleep on the sofa, then i went too far, spent the time i haven't been on the wards manicly cleaning the mess. Really pleased with my effort, but i know it isn't good.
I know i have to come back and do this again in 14 hours, but at the same time i'm not sleepy so i don't want to go home and go to bed. I want to go for a run or something. Don't worry, i'm not insane, even though this is dorchester i'm still not going to go running on my own at 3 am. Plus my joints are killing me, knees and elbows espc. But i don't know what to do.
The other big problem is that working nights is not condusive to healthy eating. I woke up at 2pm, dozed for another hour, breakfast at about 3pm, another meal about 4:30, then nothing except the chocolates i've stolen on the wards. But i'm not really hungry now, even though i know i need another meal. Nights just really screw you over.
But at least no more nights until over new year. I can cope with that, i get christmas day off. Only one night left now. I guess i better go, otherwise i'll never leave......