Prom
yayyyyyyyy for entries.....haha i never use this...im not too sure what to write anymore. school is good i guess. Soph hop = 3 days!!! i think im going? yeah hopefully it'll be fun if i do. Then prom = 3 weeks!!!!! :-D as for a prom date...i'll write about that later...
i dunno im not really as excited as i should be about all of this. i guess im not really expecting that much, i mean its gonna be the same way its always been, i just hope it'll be fun. <3
my ideal date would be my ex, but since that definitly isnt happening.....:-\ i really miss him...i still cant bare to pick up and put away the stuff his friend gave back to me from him...he just haaaaad to give it all back through a friend...*eye roll* omg...yeah i cant even bring myself to look at it. sorry im not going for a pitty party here, its just that on my xanga since he has one, i dont feel like i can write openly about things about him. yes, unfourtunatly he has a gf, but on the upside, i dont know this for sure, but ive heard he doesnt really like her and well...i'll leave the rest to ur imaginations. its back and fourth tho, i talk to one of his best friends and hes was telling him like right after he got back from his gfs house all this stuff like
"i dont really like ____ (his gf) and i miss liz...im not even that pissed anymore it just hurts" or something of that connotation. then again tho, i talked to my friend anna from my old school and her bf is best friends with my ex (thats the kid i talk to a lot) and he told anna he tried talking to my ex and it didnt really work. they both dont like his gf at all and they wanna try to get him to break it off with her since hes not in it for moral reasons supposidly. i dont know. my ex will tell his friend that stuff with him and his gf are good at somet points and then at others he'll be like "i miss liz" or he'll complain about not really liking his gf. i dont know, im so confused. i really dont wanna talk to him because last time i said something to him it had been like two months since i last talked to him and he got all defensive and was like "get out of my life and stop keeping tabs on me! dont critisize me because your upset that im happy and your not!" ouch...and i only said something to him because he was calling me a whore, and i was NOT gonna stand for that. hes still really bitter. i dont know, i just really miss him. how can i miss someone that acts like that tho? well...i know thats not really who he is and the worst part is...i made him act this way...so thats why im afraid to be up front with him and ask him whats going on. i mean, i dont wanna have him get all pissed off at me again and tell me to "get out of his fucken life" and all that, cuz as u can guess, well, that really really hurt. i dont know......ugh...its confusing. therefore, right now im continuing not to talk to him...i just kinda wish that i could hear all this from my ex himself instead of his friends or my friends you know? in the way of how he feels that is, like if he really misses me or not. i can never tell though because he lies to me about how he feels, well ever since we broke up that is, because he has been trying to get me to not like him and move on. i mean ive been trying to move on, i even tried NOT trying, if that makes any sense at all. what it all comes back down to tho, i look at the quotes about stuff like what my profile says
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, wholl lie under the stars & listen to your heartbeat, or stays awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when youre in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, and thinks your just as pretty without makeup. One whos constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one that turns to his friends and says "thats her"
thats exactly how my ex was to me. he treated me so well. ugh...and i just had to fuck it up. sorry, its prolly annoying listening to me ramble on about this, its just....ugh it still really really bugs me, especailly because i miss him so much. i havent ever stopped loving him, even tho hes been acting so....well...haha in the words of briana "like a tool" ever since we broke up. i dont know what i feel anymore. one second i like someone at school, lets face it, im trying to cover up my feelings for my ex and just move on to someone else that i can have a really good and close relationship with, yet when i stop and think about it, i realize thats prolly not gonna happen, it all comes down to, no one is like my ex, and sadly, hes all i really want.
i dunno im not really as excited as i should be about all of this. i guess im not really expecting that much, i mean its gonna be the same way its always been, i just hope it'll be fun. <3
my ideal date would be my ex, but since that definitly isnt happening.....:-\ i really miss him...i still cant bare to pick up and put away the stuff his friend gave back to me from him...he just haaaaad to give it all back through a friend...*eye roll* omg...yeah i cant even bring myself to look at it. sorry im not going for a pitty party here, its just that on my xanga since he has one, i dont feel like i can write openly about things about him. yes, unfourtunatly he has a gf, but on the upside, i dont know this for sure, but ive heard he doesnt really like her and well...i'll leave the rest to ur imaginations. its back and fourth tho, i talk to one of his best friends and hes was telling him like right after he got back from his gfs house all this stuff like
"i dont really like ____ (his gf) and i miss liz...im not even that pissed anymore it just hurts" or something of that connotation. then again tho, i talked to my friend anna from my old school and her bf is best friends with my ex (thats the kid i talk to a lot) and he told anna he tried talking to my ex and it didnt really work. they both dont like his gf at all and they wanna try to get him to break it off with her since hes not in it for moral reasons supposidly. i dont know. my ex will tell his friend that stuff with him and his gf are good at somet points and then at others he'll be like "i miss liz" or he'll complain about not really liking his gf. i dont know, im so confused. i really dont wanna talk to him because last time i said something to him it had been like two months since i last talked to him and he got all defensive and was like "get out of my life and stop keeping tabs on me! dont critisize me because your upset that im happy and your not!" ouch...and i only said something to him because he was calling me a whore, and i was NOT gonna stand for that. hes still really bitter. i dont know, i just really miss him. how can i miss someone that acts like that tho? well...i know thats not really who he is and the worst part is...i made him act this way...so thats why im afraid to be up front with him and ask him whats going on. i mean, i dont wanna have him get all pissed off at me again and tell me to "get out of his fucken life" and all that, cuz as u can guess, well, that really really hurt. i dont know......ugh...its confusing. therefore, right now im continuing not to talk to him...i just kinda wish that i could hear all this from my ex himself instead of his friends or my friends you know? in the way of how he feels that is, like if he really misses me or not. i can never tell though because he lies to me about how he feels, well ever since we broke up that is, because he has been trying to get me to not like him and move on. i mean ive been trying to move on, i even tried NOT trying, if that makes any sense at all. what it all comes back down to tho, i look at the quotes about stuff like what my profile says
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, wholl lie under the stars & listen to your heartbeat, or stays awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when youre in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, and thinks your just as pretty without makeup. One whos constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one that turns to his friends and says "thats her"
thats exactly how my ex was to me. he treated me so well. ugh...and i just had to fuck it up. sorry, its prolly annoying listening to me ramble on about this, its just....ugh it still really really bugs me, especailly because i miss him so much. i havent ever stopped loving him, even tho hes been acting so....well...haha in the words of briana "like a tool" ever since we broke up. i dont know what i feel anymore. one second i like someone at school, lets face it, im trying to cover up my feelings for my ex and just move on to someone else that i can have a really good and close relationship with, yet when i stop and think about it, i realize thats prolly not gonna happen, it all comes down to, no one is like my ex, and sadly, hes all i really want.