The Sweetness of Death by the Obsidian Knife
Ok wow I don't really know where the subject came for. Well I do, it's the title of an Ash song, but I don't know what song, or why it came into my head just now. *goes and looks up lyrics for it to see if they mean anything*
The sun rise, the tides will ebb and flow
The days will come and the days will go
I live only for what's ahead of me
Life is short is all that I know
The sun will rise tomorrow
Of all things that is certain
Though nothing in my life is certain anymore
Well that does seem to apply, although the song is mostly about someone having their heart ripped out, which is not what happened to me. It was more like having my heart removed surgically under anesthetic for health reasons, and finding out that however it is taken out, it still leaves quite a wound. I know it's better for us both (Reed and me) to not be tied to someone 200 miles away whose life is getting busier and who has their own emotional needs that can't be met purely over the telephone... but he was my whole life for two years, and now I haven't talked to him for over 72 hours. That hasn't happened since October 31, 2003. I feel wonderful, liberated, free and wild. I also feel lost, confused, unprotected and alone. Everything in my life is associated with him. Just look at my userpic, roses he sent me for our 1 year anniversary. I like all the roses too much to take them down (from my screen saver, the dried ones on my jewelry box, any of them) but I've tried to mostly put everything about him on a shelf (literally) so that I can focus on myself and what I need rather than breaking down every time I turn around and see something of his prominently displayed in my room. Well oh well. I just figured my lj needed a little love, and this is something I can talk about for days without finding any sort of amelioration. I'm not sure I should have used that there, but if any of you can call me on it... I welcome that.
Life IS Beautiful. Love as thou wilt, my friends. I love you.
The sun rise, the tides will ebb and flow
The days will come and the days will go
I live only for what's ahead of me
Life is short is all that I know
The sun will rise tomorrow
Of all things that is certain
Though nothing in my life is certain anymore
Well that does seem to apply, although the song is mostly about someone having their heart ripped out, which is not what happened to me. It was more like having my heart removed surgically under anesthetic for health reasons, and finding out that however it is taken out, it still leaves quite a wound. I know it's better for us both (Reed and me) to not be tied to someone 200 miles away whose life is getting busier and who has their own emotional needs that can't be met purely over the telephone... but he was my whole life for two years, and now I haven't talked to him for over 72 hours. That hasn't happened since October 31, 2003. I feel wonderful, liberated, free and wild. I also feel lost, confused, unprotected and alone. Everything in my life is associated with him. Just look at my userpic, roses he sent me for our 1 year anniversary. I like all the roses too much to take them down (from my screen saver, the dried ones on my jewelry box, any of them) but I've tried to mostly put everything about him on a shelf (literally) so that I can focus on myself and what I need rather than breaking down every time I turn around and see something of his prominently displayed in my room. Well oh well. I just figured my lj needed a little love, and this is something I can talk about for days without finding any sort of amelioration. I'm not sure I should have used that there, but if any of you can call me on it... I welcome that.
Life IS Beautiful. Love as thou wilt, my friends. I love you.