If I only knew...

[wildprophet]

If I could only see back from ahead. If I could only see over my own head. This is all leading me somewhere, and from the look of it now, it's bound to be painful. Whatever decision I make, it will be so difficult. I am not sure how much more I can handle these continuous difficulties of life. I am so very tired. If I stay there will be trouble, and if I go it will be doubled. Which is right? What is the absolute truth of it all? Where is the all encompassing ethical map for life when you need it? Am I meant to be patient, and wait it out? Are we really going somewhere? No words better than these come to my mind to describe how I am feeling right now, than the ones in this song:

A groan of tedium escapes me, stuttering, fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and I'm still right
Here.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.

I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.

Tool - The Patient