Life is the most confusing thing right now ...
I wish this was a perfect world where everything went the way you wanted them to. HAHA what a joke that is .. I swear i thought maybe after moving up here that things would be a little bit better and that i could start over , meet new people and meet new guys and start fresh you know .. Well i fell into the same hole i did at home .I fall for the wrong guy and i get my heart in it and then i cant get out ... I love Toby i know i do i feel it everytime i see him everytime i think about him . It could be the middle of the night and i hear a car go down the road and i jump out of bed to go see if its Toby i swear i have it so bad for him . We went out to dinner tonight , A group of our friends me and him and we had a blast just laughing and talkin and i just feel so right so happy to be with him , but then when im away from him all i wanna do is be with him again !Sean his best friend told me that him and his Girlfriend broke up and so now he is single ...Which i know is true because he told Trent that tonight too.. But somehow that doesnt make me feel any better ! I still see no chance of me and him being together , there has to be a reason he was so distant tonight .. I just wish i could take him and be with him forever and not have to worry about anything .. But there again that would be the perfect world and now everyone is telling me that he only likes me as a friend or onlu sees me as a friend..So what the hell now i feel used ... I dunno what to think but for now im going to go to bed and prolly lay there forever thinking of him and of what i did wrong .. Not get any sleep and then have to get up tomorrow and go to work . So you all wish me luck. Keep me in your prayers i need all i can get right now i think im driving myself crazy over a guy ... Why ? Uh i think i love him ! and its all gonna end up hurting me ... <3 chelle