TF: Desire
Rating: PG-13
Series: G1
Pairings: Shockwave/Ratchet
Summary: Since the forced sparkbond, things have been strained between Shockwave and Ratchet. But will they ever get what they want?
Warnings: Dark tendencies. And no killing the author!
Disclaimer: As per usual, the good things in life are not mine to have, but belong to someone else... in this case Hasbro, Takara and IDW and anyone else I’ve forgotten…
Authors Notes: For the tf_speedwriting December Advent Calendar - December 24th
Feedback makes friends. Flames dealt with by the masters of paranoia and fire, Red Alert and Inferno.
Prompt: You can’t always get what you want
Time: 55 minutes
Shockwave stared at the monitor focussed on the berth. Ratchet lay there, looking like he was in recharge. But Shockwave could feel that he wasn’t. He was lying there, miserably thinking on his past. Ever since he’d forced the sparkbond on Ratchet, he’d been subject to the mech’s darkest thoughts and fears. He had underestimated how much impact the Autobots had had on his younger lover. He could feel the regret at not seeing his friends again. Regret that he wouldn’t get to discuss experiments with Wheeljack or Perceptor. Regret that he wouldn’t be able to keep an optic on Prowl overworking himself. Regret that he wouldn’t work on Sunstreaker or Sideswipe again. Regret.
“You can’t always get what you want, Ratchet.” Shockwave murmured to himself, fingers stroking across the image of Ratchet on the screen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ratchet turned over listlessly. He couldn’t see the point in doing anything. Since his capture on Earth, and subsequent waking up on Cybertron, his life had gone downhill. The sparkbond Shockwave had forced on him ached, and he couldn’t work out how to make it stop. Once, a long time ago, he would have been overjoyed at sparkbonding to Shockwave. But the war and their subsequent arguments had put paid to that. Ratchet had joined the Autobots and made a new life for himself. Shockwave had stayed with his beloved Decepticons and neither of them had given the other another thought.
Well, that was a lie actually. Ratchet knew he’d spent time thinking about Shockwave, particularly after they’d woken up on Earth. And from the bond, he knew Shockwave had spent plenty of time thinking about him. Thinking and planning. And now Ratchet knew all too well what he’d been planning. Shockwave had spent the years they were in stasis perfecting Megatron’s Robosmasher - the reprogramming machine he’d created to turn mechs into loyal Decepticons. And it had worked back then, Ratchet knew that much. He’d tried to write patches to rewrite the coding damaged by Megatron’s machine, but to no avail. Yet mechs had been able to overcome the programming. But since Shockwave’s improvements… Ratchet was sure that no mech would be able to resist. And of course, Shockwave had gone one step further, creating a machine that could force sparkbonds and seemingly control them. He was evidence of that. As much as he tried to fight against the programming, and the bond, he couldn’t. Not for long. So he’d given up trying. Shockwave could take what he wanted, but he would never get what he really desired.
“Can’t always get what you want.” He muttered to no one in particular, heaving himself off the berth to pace the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As Shockwave keyed in the code to the door, he could hear Ratchet taking his place on the berth. While on any other day, he would have been pleased that his bonded was finally submitting properly, he couldn’t help but feel disgust at himself that it had come to this. Perhaps it was the feelings he was getting from Ratchet across the bond; his emotional lover had never been particularly good at hiding his feelings, and the bond only intensified that. Perhaps it was finally his own processor catching up with what he’d done. He had betrayed everything that a sparkbond was. Meant to be created in love, he had forged one out of fear that he would lose Ratchet once more. He was determined that Ratchet was going to be his. The long years without Ratchet had only solidified that fact. And when he had found out that Ratchet still lived, that fuelled his determination to set his plan before Megatron. And of course, Megatron had been more than happy to allow his loyal sub-commander a little leeway when it came to experimentation.
“Ratchet?” The medic looked up as the door slid open to admit Shockwave. He was sitting on the edge of the berth, looking nervous.
“Shockwave.” He lifted his head enough to lock optics with Shockwave briefly, before lowering his head once more. Shockwave moved to sit on the berth next to him, gun arm resting across Ratchet’s shoulders. He didn’t miss the flinch and shudder and whirring of cooling fans that that simple action evoked. They sat there in quiet for long moments before Shockwave eventually broke the silence.
“I should perhaps apologise.” He said stiffly.
“Apologise?” Ratchet turned towards him, careful not to dislodge Shockwave’s arm.
“I think perhaps I shouldn’t have forced the sparkbond on you.”
“You do, do you?” As if the hint of an apology was enough to make amends for everything Shockwave had done. Ratchet pushed himself off and away from the berth, turning to face Shockwave.
“You think you should perhaps apologise? For desecrating one of the most sacred things we hold dear and turning it into a mockery of what it should be?” His voice was harsh. “You think you should perhaps apologise for kidnapping me and subjecting me to your experiments, all to recapture what you’d lost years ago?”
“I…” Ratchet didn’t let Shockwave finish.
“I should certainly think you should apologise. You forced a sparkbond on me, Shockwave. Forced! And even if I had wanted it, you gave me no choice. It was all about what you wanted!” He paused, pulling out an energy blade he’d managed to find and hide and brandishing it.
“We can’t always have what we want.”