(no subject)
It would seem that I'm quite anxious. I don't know why. I sort of feel like the whole world is going and I'm standing still. It might have something to do with the season. I feel so trapped... The only think keeping me sane is knowing that I will see Rufus in less than 10 hours. I didn't wake up this morning to workout. That's not like me.
I'm fasting for 3 days. I just feel so toxic at the moment. I've been having stomach problems (most likely due to my anxiety and depression.) I feel like every time I eat I feel sick for hours. I want to just clean the toxins out of my system and start eating healthy.
I know this kind of defeats the purpose, but I'm allowing myself tea. It has caffeine; I don't think I could live without that AND food. I probably could, but I wouldn't want to have to work at the same time.
I'm looking forward to having a day off tomorrow. I know it's a random day, but it makes up for having to work on MLK day.
I have a ton of shit to do today....Make the schedule, order the stuff for Chinese New year, Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras...call the mom's club to set up a date...take minutes for the resident life meeting...then type them out because Marilyn doesn't like it when I type during the meeting even though my computer is RIGHT there...try to find a craft to do on Friday...set up bowling and pray that someone else doesn't fall...and then make an attempt to fly out of there by 5 pm. I guess I could get a lot more done in a day if I didn't constantly have to entertain them all the time...I NEVER have a minute to myself!
Next week should start some serious delving into my quite limited budget. Another good thing about this job is that I'm learning how to deal with money. I've started applying it to my life as well...the "every penny counts" method is quite economical and really forces one to think about each small thing.
Last night I had a dream that I had a different house, a different boyfriend, a different family, a different job...a different life entirely and I didn't understand what had happened to my old life. I was so upset because I thought it was real. They told me I had some sort of accident and that nothing had changed, it must have been my perception of it. It freaked me out. I started thinking that I was in the wrong body like those transsexual people...only not a different sex, I was still a girl. It was like one of those movies where someone forgets who they are. This was worse though because I remembered who I was and it wasn't who I really am...does that make sense?
Then I had a dream that I was gang raped by a bunch of vampires that looked like frat boys in the back of a moving van. They had pulled into some guy's driveway...the guy had no idea we were there, but his dog got too close and one of the vampires ate him. I was hopeful that the dog was going to get help until I noticed that it was in pieces on the driveway...that was a helpless feeling.
Lovely head I have...eh?
I'm fasting for 3 days. I just feel so toxic at the moment. I've been having stomach problems (most likely due to my anxiety and depression.) I feel like every time I eat I feel sick for hours. I want to just clean the toxins out of my system and start eating healthy.
I know this kind of defeats the purpose, but I'm allowing myself tea. It has caffeine; I don't think I could live without that AND food. I probably could, but I wouldn't want to have to work at the same time.
I'm looking forward to having a day off tomorrow. I know it's a random day, but it makes up for having to work on MLK day.
I have a ton of shit to do today....Make the schedule, order the stuff for Chinese New year, Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras...call the mom's club to set up a date...take minutes for the resident life meeting...then type them out because Marilyn doesn't like it when I type during the meeting even though my computer is RIGHT there...try to find a craft to do on Friday...set up bowling and pray that someone else doesn't fall...and then make an attempt to fly out of there by 5 pm. I guess I could get a lot more done in a day if I didn't constantly have to entertain them all the time...I NEVER have a minute to myself!
Next week should start some serious delving into my quite limited budget. Another good thing about this job is that I'm learning how to deal with money. I've started applying it to my life as well...the "every penny counts" method is quite economical and really forces one to think about each small thing.
Last night I had a dream that I had a different house, a different boyfriend, a different family, a different job...a different life entirely and I didn't understand what had happened to my old life. I was so upset because I thought it was real. They told me I had some sort of accident and that nothing had changed, it must have been my perception of it. It freaked me out. I started thinking that I was in the wrong body like those transsexual people...only not a different sex, I was still a girl. It was like one of those movies where someone forgets who they are. This was worse though because I remembered who I was and it wasn't who I really am...does that make sense?
Then I had a dream that I was gang raped by a bunch of vampires that looked like frat boys in the back of a moving van. They had pulled into some guy's driveway...the guy had no idea we were there, but his dog got too close and one of the vampires ate him. I was hopeful that the dog was going to get help until I noticed that it was in pieces on the driveway...that was a helpless feeling.
Lovely head I have...eh?