Cruel Tricks for Stupid Solicitors
An entry in sixty-forty's journal reminded of this silly scene from my life and I think it makes for an amusing tale. I hope you enjoy it, you sick people you.
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Way back, last spring or so, my workplace was still in a shit-hole of a building in Englewood. Like most office buildings, there was a "No Soliciting" sign on the door to discourage solicitors. There was also a "Beware of Dog" sign next to it because the boss would often bring in his boxer (rocko), and we wanted to warn strangers who were supposed to be there (like UPS and FedEx people) about the possibility of encountering said dog.
So, one afternoon, I was sitting at my desk when I get some crack-thin guy hawking cheap lithographs at my office door. Now, my office door is close to the front door, but not so close as a front desk/receptionist position would be. So he's going through his spiel with me looking at him with a "What are you doing here?" kind of look when I cut him off and say:
Me: Didn't you see the No Soliciting sign outside?
Crack Dude: *sheepish look* Well I kinda-
Me: Why would I buy fine art from someone who goes dooor to door and can't read?
CD: Well, you see-
Me: And did you notice the Beware of Dog sign on the door, too? He weighs about 50lbs.
CD: (Finally getting his bearings) *grins* Well, I weigh about 150, so I outweigh him by about a hundred pounds. I think those are pretty good odds.
Me: (hearing Rocko, come down the hall)You do? Well, let me know how that works out for you.
Rocko starts barking and charges him from down the hall. Crack Dude runs for the border. I was surprised he didn't soil himself.
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Way back, last spring or so, my workplace was still in a shit-hole of a building in Englewood. Like most office buildings, there was a "No Soliciting" sign on the door to discourage solicitors. There was also a "Beware of Dog" sign next to it because the boss would often bring in his boxer (rocko), and we wanted to warn strangers who were supposed to be there (like UPS and FedEx people) about the possibility of encountering said dog.
So, one afternoon, I was sitting at my desk when I get some crack-thin guy hawking cheap lithographs at my office door. Now, my office door is close to the front door, but not so close as a front desk/receptionist position would be. So he's going through his spiel with me looking at him with a "What are you doing here?" kind of look when I cut him off and say:
Me: Didn't you see the No Soliciting sign outside?
Crack Dude: *sheepish look* Well I kinda-
Me: Why would I buy fine art from someone who goes dooor to door and can't read?
CD: Well, you see-
Me: And did you notice the Beware of Dog sign on the door, too? He weighs about 50lbs.
CD: (Finally getting his bearings) *grins* Well, I weigh about 150, so I outweigh him by about a hundred pounds. I think those are pretty good odds.
Me: (hearing Rocko, come down the hall)You do? Well, let me know how that works out for you.
Rocko starts barking and charges him from down the hall. Crack Dude runs for the border. I was surprised he didn't soil himself.