Horrible Fucking Day Of Hell
Had a rough day.
First of all, Ive been up since 7am. Thats early for me. Whine whine, bitch moan. I know.
We had a meeting with my grandparents lawyer at 10. Whine whine, bitch moan.
I had to get "dressed up" Whine whine, bitch moan.
then we find out "The Maxted Family Trust" Isnt in my name, or my mothers. No no, its in Joyce pettersons name. I dont like her. shes a busybody. We called her to see if she would reliquish her rights, but she wants a meeting to see about it. WOMAN, YOU ARE DYING OF CANCER. GIVE IT UP. HAND IT OVER. OR ILL KILL YOU. Whine whine, bitch moan.
Then, We go to the hospital. I hate hospitals. I couldnt sit still. I couldnt stay in that damn room. When I think hospital, I think death. Two people I love more than life itself have gone to hospitals and not come back. I never got to say goodbye because It was what...a hospital. Right. So I hate them. After like 4 trips outside to smoke. Or as I told my parents "Get food" we had a meeting with the social worker at the hospital. Whine whine, bitch moan.
What a flighty little bitch she was. She did not make me happy like the lawyer did. He was nice. He helped. This whore of a woman made us wait an hour...HOUR.... extra time to spend in a what? HOSPITAL. So she sums it up, My grandmas getting a test to see how crazy she is. SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER!! YOU"LL SEE!!! Whine whine, bitch moan.
Then we went to my grandmas house. To look for the Trust papers mainly, and make sure shes paying all her bills. Well Im sitting in the corner on the floor in her room looking at the files, and I find. "Divorce", "Maxted Vs. Boyd" and My personal Favorite.."BOYD CHILDREN". Im sitting there skimming them and found some interesting things out. Whine whine, bitch moan.
My grandparents always hated my real dad. I never really knew why. Just assumed because he was a jerk. Aparently they lent him 5k and he never paid it back. They had to take it to court and it turned into this big mess. Then I learned how no one really wanted me and my brother. We bounced around from foster home to foster home, until we ended up here in crystal lake. And thank fucking god for that one. Whine whine, bitch moan.
Then my Mom decided it was time to go home. So I reluctently left the files with plans to go back and read them. and boy did I. I just got home from elk grove. Spent 2 hours READING those files. Reading about my moms Rehab at the age of 17. Reading how she felt so guilty for a car accident, that really wasnt her fault. Read about how she wished she was the one who died instead of her friend debbie. Read about How she was primarily in foster care till 5th grade (LIKE ME!!!) and then finally adopted. I read letters my mom wrote home to my grandparents, and I cried. She had the same emotions that I was feeling for a while. Her handwriting looks so much like mine. Its freaky. Its like, I wrote those letters, I said those words. Im sure I have.
Then I read about how My grandparents had a baby before they adopted my mom, and it was a stillborn. I cried for that. I cried when I read my grandma had a hystorectomy. All these people wanted were kids. And they took a big chance on my mom. and She knew it. She caused alot of problems, but through it all, they loved her. So very much. I cried alot tonight.
Then I got to the file about me and Pat. And all the papers with the Social workers from DCFS. and visits with both of my parents. About how my dad used to abuse us. How I used to be scared to cry. all these things. Pat wouldnt talk, he would just sit by me and hold my hand. I miss pat. I need pat.
No litterally. He needs to know whats going on. Tis' my job to find him, and tell him This is whats going on. and you can have no part of it. Because if there is money, you will squander it away, and I refuse to let you do that. If he refuses to decline (which he will) I have to go to court, and Point out that hes been in jail, he has a child to support. Where as, I have work. and nothing else right now. Im willing to put off school if it means taking care of my gma. I dont WANT too persay, but I will do it because it is the right thing.
Then on the way home my parents told me they were talking. They are thinking of Getting me a condo. Two room, simple. First floor. But the catch is, Id be living with my grandma. But when Shes finally ready to go into a nursing home or something like that, The condo is all mine. To do as I please with it... I have mixed feelings. I want to move out, but am I really ready? am I? I told them We could look into and keep it open, but I wanted to put some serious thought into it. A house of any sort isnt something you can really rush into. Im young, Im stupid. I will somehow manage to screw this up. Just watch.
Im tired, Im cranky. Ive had alot thrown at me. Im learning about my past. Where ive come from. What makes me the way I am. I just want to Go see my friends, then Curl up and sleep in my bed. Yes, That sounds heavenly. You all have a good night. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan.
First of all, Ive been up since 7am. Thats early for me. Whine whine, bitch moan. I know.
We had a meeting with my grandparents lawyer at 10. Whine whine, bitch moan.
I had to get "dressed up" Whine whine, bitch moan.
then we find out "The Maxted Family Trust" Isnt in my name, or my mothers. No no, its in Joyce pettersons name. I dont like her. shes a busybody. We called her to see if she would reliquish her rights, but she wants a meeting to see about it. WOMAN, YOU ARE DYING OF CANCER. GIVE IT UP. HAND IT OVER. OR ILL KILL YOU. Whine whine, bitch moan.
Then, We go to the hospital. I hate hospitals. I couldnt sit still. I couldnt stay in that damn room. When I think hospital, I think death. Two people I love more than life itself have gone to hospitals and not come back. I never got to say goodbye because It was what...a hospital. Right. So I hate them. After like 4 trips outside to smoke. Or as I told my parents "Get food" we had a meeting with the social worker at the hospital. Whine whine, bitch moan.
What a flighty little bitch she was. She did not make me happy like the lawyer did. He was nice. He helped. This whore of a woman made us wait an hour...HOUR.... extra time to spend in a what? HOSPITAL. So she sums it up, My grandmas getting a test to see how crazy she is. SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER!! YOU"LL SEE!!! Whine whine, bitch moan.
Then we went to my grandmas house. To look for the Trust papers mainly, and make sure shes paying all her bills. Well Im sitting in the corner on the floor in her room looking at the files, and I find. "Divorce", "Maxted Vs. Boyd" and My personal Favorite.."BOYD CHILDREN". Im sitting there skimming them and found some interesting things out. Whine whine, bitch moan.
My grandparents always hated my real dad. I never really knew why. Just assumed because he was a jerk. Aparently they lent him 5k and he never paid it back. They had to take it to court and it turned into this big mess. Then I learned how no one really wanted me and my brother. We bounced around from foster home to foster home, until we ended up here in crystal lake. And thank fucking god for that one. Whine whine, bitch moan.
Then my Mom decided it was time to go home. So I reluctently left the files with plans to go back and read them. and boy did I. I just got home from elk grove. Spent 2 hours READING those files. Reading about my moms Rehab at the age of 17. Reading how she felt so guilty for a car accident, that really wasnt her fault. Read about how she wished she was the one who died instead of her friend debbie. Read about How she was primarily in foster care till 5th grade (LIKE ME!!!) and then finally adopted. I read letters my mom wrote home to my grandparents, and I cried. She had the same emotions that I was feeling for a while. Her handwriting looks so much like mine. Its freaky. Its like, I wrote those letters, I said those words. Im sure I have.
Then I read about how My grandparents had a baby before they adopted my mom, and it was a stillborn. I cried for that. I cried when I read my grandma had a hystorectomy. All these people wanted were kids. And they took a big chance on my mom. and She knew it. She caused alot of problems, but through it all, they loved her. So very much. I cried alot tonight.
Then I got to the file about me and Pat. And all the papers with the Social workers from DCFS. and visits with both of my parents. About how my dad used to abuse us. How I used to be scared to cry. all these things. Pat wouldnt talk, he would just sit by me and hold my hand. I miss pat. I need pat.
No litterally. He needs to know whats going on. Tis' my job to find him, and tell him This is whats going on. and you can have no part of it. Because if there is money, you will squander it away, and I refuse to let you do that. If he refuses to decline (which he will) I have to go to court, and Point out that hes been in jail, he has a child to support. Where as, I have work. and nothing else right now. Im willing to put off school if it means taking care of my gma. I dont WANT too persay, but I will do it because it is the right thing.
Then on the way home my parents told me they were talking. They are thinking of Getting me a condo. Two room, simple. First floor. But the catch is, Id be living with my grandma. But when Shes finally ready to go into a nursing home or something like that, The condo is all mine. To do as I please with it... I have mixed feelings. I want to move out, but am I really ready? am I? I told them We could look into and keep it open, but I wanted to put some serious thought into it. A house of any sort isnt something you can really rush into. Im young, Im stupid. I will somehow manage to screw this up. Just watch.
Im tired, Im cranky. Ive had alot thrown at me. Im learning about my past. Where ive come from. What makes me the way I am. I just want to Go see my friends, then Curl up and sleep in my bed. Yes, That sounds heavenly. You all have a good night. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan. Whine whine, bitch moan.