Fighting; staying sober.
So...Saturday my uncle had a bonfire. It's basically our family reunion. Most of my Moms family was there, as was a lot of friends of the family and such. All in all, over 50 people. Thiemo and I went with my Mom and little brother. We also took the baby. We planned on staying the night.
So...Thiemo drank...I had a mixed drink. We had a good time...but as it got later, he got louder and more bulligerant. He wouldn't take care of the baby at all...he wanted to have my Mom solely take care of her. Feeling bad, as it is her family, I also took care of the baby while he went off to smoke pot with my cousins, brother and some friends.
Before the fireworks, I went up to the house to check on Nora...she was throwing a fit; one of those fits only Daddy can fix. I find him, have to beg him to come up and calm her..He finally does...and twice, he almost dropped her. I took her away, he stormed off (he said he was "playing").
About an hour or two passes...it's almost 11, if not later, Nora is still awake, getting crankier by the minute, as she's been awake for nearly 12 hours. Every time she falls asleep, it's interrupted by screaming kids, yelling teenagers, the TV getting turned up or people TRYING to play guitar. My Mom decides it'd be best to take her home. I agree, go off to find Thiemo.
He's passed out in a trailer. I try to wake him up for over 20 minutes. He kicks at me, throws a sleeping bag at me, and keeps telling me he's getting up. By this point, I am frustrated, I leave to go back to the house...and some of my brothers friends threw a cup of water on him. He wakes up pissed off, knocks the TV off the counter, was throwing stuff inside the trailer, and being a complete douche. He comes out yelling and there is no talking to him. I tell him we are leaving..he starts walking down the highway...wearing all black, at night. On this particular highway, 80 is considered normal. There are so many deaths there it's not remotely funny. My brother tries talking to him. I try...it's no use. My Mom drives after him...he yells. We both beg him to get in the car, he yells louder and throws his hoodie at me. My Mom and I are both crying, scared for our lives and his. He doesn't care. My brother and a cousin I think (I haven't seen some of these people in years) drive after him and manage to get him in the car and bring him home. We are ready to go. We come home...as soon as my Mom leaves, he starts lashing at me.
I got called just about every horrible name you can imagine. He told me he hated being with me, that it was over and he wants me out immediately. We argue, he gets in my face because I wouldn't tell him he was right about the way he was acting. He threatens to punch me. Then, he gets the bright idea to lock himself in the Noras room and tell me he's packing her stuff up and that he's going to take her away. I threaten to call the cops. He comes out and breaks up with me again...then goes on to say I'm an unfit mother and that the state would find him better able to care for her.
I finally lost it. I lost my cool. I lost my quiet, reserved persona that has been in control since I was 17. I yelled at him; I called him an alcoholic and a drug addict. He pushed me, full force. I happened to land on the couch, but my chest was very sore from his hands. He "dared" me to say it again; I did. He came at me again. He dared me to do something about it...and I did. I called the cops.
I've never called the police before...and I was scared for a multitude of reasons. Cops show up, we talk. He agrees to go in his room and sleep it off (I didn't want to press charges). I text a friend with a truck,telling them I need help moving. I call my Mom and tell her I'm moving in tomorrow. He hears this, flips out and starts crying because he doesn't want me to go. He doesn't want to risk losing his daughter. It gets so bad he starts hyperventilating. We stayed up until 3am...we both agreed to quit drinking, even though I don't have a problem. On Sunday, he'll have been sober for a week...I'm pretty sure it's the first week this year.
He doesn't think I love him anymore because I don't show affection like I used to.
I quit being as affectionate because last year, we got in another fight--I was too clingy and affectionate. He didn't want to be hugged and kissed all he time. No matter what I do, it seems to be wrong. I'm kind of in a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation. I don't know what to do anymore. I really think he may be bi polar. He needs to go to a doctor and get this checked. I need to figure out a way to bring it up with out upsetting him. Maybe our next fight? The next time he fucks up, he's getting an ultimatum--go to a doctor, save our relationship/family or be stubborn and lose it all.
In other news, I heard a McCain commercial yesterday on the radio...and I couldn't believe how stupid people are.
They were giving reasons why Obama is bad.
Obama spent tax dollars to make...proposals and propositions.
Isn't that what government officials do? Isn't that what tax dollars are for?
I guess Obama should have been more like Palin...spend tax dollars on a tanning bed for her home. Or use his campaign money for a complete makeover. Yeah...way to go republicans. Obama is bad for doing what he is supposed to.
So...Thiemo drank...I had a mixed drink. We had a good time...but as it got later, he got louder and more bulligerant. He wouldn't take care of the baby at all...he wanted to have my Mom solely take care of her. Feeling bad, as it is her family, I also took care of the baby while he went off to smoke pot with my cousins, brother and some friends.
Before the fireworks, I went up to the house to check on Nora...she was throwing a fit; one of those fits only Daddy can fix. I find him, have to beg him to come up and calm her..He finally does...and twice, he almost dropped her. I took her away, he stormed off (he said he was "playing").
About an hour or two passes...it's almost 11, if not later, Nora is still awake, getting crankier by the minute, as she's been awake for nearly 12 hours. Every time she falls asleep, it's interrupted by screaming kids, yelling teenagers, the TV getting turned up or people TRYING to play guitar. My Mom decides it'd be best to take her home. I agree, go off to find Thiemo.
He's passed out in a trailer. I try to wake him up for over 20 minutes. He kicks at me, throws a sleeping bag at me, and keeps telling me he's getting up. By this point, I am frustrated, I leave to go back to the house...and some of my brothers friends threw a cup of water on him. He wakes up pissed off, knocks the TV off the counter, was throwing stuff inside the trailer, and being a complete douche. He comes out yelling and there is no talking to him. I tell him we are leaving..he starts walking down the highway...wearing all black, at night. On this particular highway, 80 is considered normal. There are so many deaths there it's not remotely funny. My brother tries talking to him. I try...it's no use. My Mom drives after him...he yells. We both beg him to get in the car, he yells louder and throws his hoodie at me. My Mom and I are both crying, scared for our lives and his. He doesn't care. My brother and a cousin I think (I haven't seen some of these people in years) drive after him and manage to get him in the car and bring him home. We are ready to go. We come home...as soon as my Mom leaves, he starts lashing at me.
I got called just about every horrible name you can imagine. He told me he hated being with me, that it was over and he wants me out immediately. We argue, he gets in my face because I wouldn't tell him he was right about the way he was acting. He threatens to punch me. Then, he gets the bright idea to lock himself in the Noras room and tell me he's packing her stuff up and that he's going to take her away. I threaten to call the cops. He comes out and breaks up with me again...then goes on to say I'm an unfit mother and that the state would find him better able to care for her.
I finally lost it. I lost my cool. I lost my quiet, reserved persona that has been in control since I was 17. I yelled at him; I called him an alcoholic and a drug addict. He pushed me, full force. I happened to land on the couch, but my chest was very sore from his hands. He "dared" me to say it again; I did. He came at me again. He dared me to do something about it...and I did. I called the cops.
I've never called the police before...and I was scared for a multitude of reasons. Cops show up, we talk. He agrees to go in his room and sleep it off (I didn't want to press charges). I text a friend with a truck,telling them I need help moving. I call my Mom and tell her I'm moving in tomorrow. He hears this, flips out and starts crying because he doesn't want me to go. He doesn't want to risk losing his daughter. It gets so bad he starts hyperventilating. We stayed up until 3am...we both agreed to quit drinking, even though I don't have a problem. On Sunday, he'll have been sober for a week...I'm pretty sure it's the first week this year.
He doesn't think I love him anymore because I don't show affection like I used to.
I quit being as affectionate because last year, we got in another fight--I was too clingy and affectionate. He didn't want to be hugged and kissed all he time. No matter what I do, it seems to be wrong. I'm kind of in a "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation. I don't know what to do anymore. I really think he may be bi polar. He needs to go to a doctor and get this checked. I need to figure out a way to bring it up with out upsetting him. Maybe our next fight? The next time he fucks up, he's getting an ultimatum--go to a doctor, save our relationship/family or be stubborn and lose it all.
In other news, I heard a McCain commercial yesterday on the radio...and I couldn't believe how stupid people are.
They were giving reasons why Obama is bad.
Obama spent tax dollars to make...proposals and propositions.
Isn't that what government officials do? Isn't that what tax dollars are for?
I guess Obama should have been more like Palin...spend tax dollars on a tanning bed for her home. Or use his campaign money for a complete makeover. Yeah...way to go republicans. Obama is bad for doing what he is supposed to.