Not a day goes by when I don't compromise your love for the cold love of the world
Thought about takin' Angel's Viper with me but I didn't care. It wasn't going anywhere, just gonna sit right in the driveway. Unless Spike came home and decided to go for a rip or worse yet decided to spring Fred loose. Truth was I wasn't really thinkin' too clearly, just marched past the car and down the road towards Wolfram and Hart. It wasn't a long walk, in fact I'd made it so often since I'd started shackin' up with Fred that I didn't even have to think about it.
I knew I was on autopilot even before I walked into the building. Wasn't thinkin'. Honestly, it was better this way. I didn't wanna stop and think about it. Stopping too much, thinkin' too much was what got me into this mess to begin with. I hadn't bothered to stop and think about what lettin' that son of a bitch live could do to the rest of us. It was worth it, I could take it if it meant that Angel could still stick around. Could take it until he went after Fred, til he ruined the one good thing I had in my life.
If I stopped and thought about it I might lay down, roll over and show my belly, play dead, give up. I had one last thing I needed to do before I gave into that particular instinct. Couldn't let him get away with this, not anymore. He'd gone too far, pushed me too hard. Wasn't this what he wanted? To push me over the edge. We'd see just how just much he liked it when I was done with him.
It was the middle of the night but Wolfram and Hart wasn't your average law firm. I thought for sure that there'd be people millin' around but I didn't see anybody as I unlocked the door to my office. Throwin' my keys on the desk I walked into the bathroom and grimaced when I caught sight of my own reflection in the mirror. It wasn't the bruises that was causing the reaction, it was the knowing who put them there. No. It wasn't her, never her. Not anymore. She wasn't coming back.
I turned away quickly, unwilling to spend any more time dwelling on it until the job was done. When it was over I could let myself wallow as much as I wanted to.
Who was I kidding? When this was finished, so was I.
It wasn't just about Fred either. Who the fuck even knew if Connor was still alive at this point. I figured he was probably dead or close to it, otherwise he'd be hot on my heels right about now. If he was dead, it was more reason to kill Angel. If he was about to be dead, killing Angel would probably save him.
Instead of cleaning myself up like I'd planned to do I grabbed the stake in my desk drawer and walked swiftly out of my office, closin' the door behind me. Into the elevator and up to my apartment without a second thought. In through the door, not even a glance in Darla's direction before I was standing right in front of him and I could see his eyes pulled to the stake clenched tightly in my hand.
I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. Fucking hate you.
I knew I was on autopilot even before I walked into the building. Wasn't thinkin'. Honestly, it was better this way. I didn't wanna stop and think about it. Stopping too much, thinkin' too much was what got me into this mess to begin with. I hadn't bothered to stop and think about what lettin' that son of a bitch live could do to the rest of us. It was worth it, I could take it if it meant that Angel could still stick around. Could take it until he went after Fred, til he ruined the one good thing I had in my life.
If I stopped and thought about it I might lay down, roll over and show my belly, play dead, give up. I had one last thing I needed to do before I gave into that particular instinct. Couldn't let him get away with this, not anymore. He'd gone too far, pushed me too hard. Wasn't this what he wanted? To push me over the edge. We'd see just how just much he liked it when I was done with him.
It was the middle of the night but Wolfram and Hart wasn't your average law firm. I thought for sure that there'd be people millin' around but I didn't see anybody as I unlocked the door to my office. Throwin' my keys on the desk I walked into the bathroom and grimaced when I caught sight of my own reflection in the mirror. It wasn't the bruises that was causing the reaction, it was the knowing who put them there. No. It wasn't her, never her. Not anymore. She wasn't coming back.
I turned away quickly, unwilling to spend any more time dwelling on it until the job was done. When it was over I could let myself wallow as much as I wanted to.
Who was I kidding? When this was finished, so was I.
It wasn't just about Fred either. Who the fuck even knew if Connor was still alive at this point. I figured he was probably dead or close to it, otherwise he'd be hot on my heels right about now. If he was dead, it was more reason to kill Angel. If he was about to be dead, killing Angel would probably save him.
Instead of cleaning myself up like I'd planned to do I grabbed the stake in my desk drawer and walked swiftly out of my office, closin' the door behind me. Into the elevator and up to my apartment without a second thought. In through the door, not even a glance in Darla's direction before I was standing right in front of him and I could see his eyes pulled to the stake clenched tightly in my hand.
I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. Fucking hate you.