map of the united states
California is moving increasingly further away from me, as if the country itself is expanding its riverbanks and fault lines and I wonder if the Grand Canyon, too, is getting deeper and wider and more red with dirt to give room. I used to justify the distance: if I call once a week, I’ve never left; if I check the weather daily, our 20 degrees will become a comfortable 74, with 10% chance of precipitation. But what if it snows while I’m shopping for bathing suits? And if my mother calls to tell me there was an earthquake, should I tell myself I just slept through it? I once believed that it would never feel as far as it did every time I boarded a plane heading east. After two months, 11 days, I discover that distance is felt in many ways. The mountain ranges increase in size. The great lakes stretch out their fingers and the west coast creeps further into the Pacific; soon San Francisco will be flooded.