*is emo*
So I'm sat here trying to write SOMETHING for my Ten/Rose fic Suddenly I See and I just feel so... awkward. Out of place. Self-conscious. Wrong.
I started it a little over a year ago, in the middle of series 2, because I loved Ten and Rose so very much. I never wrote it out of some shipper agenda, because I was never a shipper, I wrote it because my fingers and my brain were literally tingling to go further and deeper than the show could with their friendship, relationship, bond, whatever you'd call it, plus I wanted to write a really confusing mystery story too. I'm still in love with the mystery part of it, totally and utterly, but the Ten/Rose part? Not so much...
I just cannot help it! Before series 3 started, before the Rosefen attacked Martha and proved themselves to be obnoxious little idiots, I had NO problem writing a Ten/Rose story. But now, given my opinions on some Ten/Rose shippers and the Rosefen... I don't WANT to write for them anymore. I wish they hadn't alienated previous Rose fans so much that even someone who wasn't really a Ten/Rose shipper who might have enjoyed the story wouldn't read it now, specifically because it's Ten/Rose. I mean, that's how I feel and I'M the one writing a Ten/Rose story.
Besides that, when people see Ten/Rose listed as the pairing, they may think I'm one of THEM. Those crazy Rosefen gals, STILL harping on about Rose and Ten/Rose even now, whereas, I'm just a writer trying to finish a story that I love. My God, I don't want to be seen as one of the Rosefen. Ever.
I'm so anti-Rosefen, that I've had fans of the story who'd friended this journal actually de-friend me in the last few weeks because of my opinions on fandom's attitude to Rose and my opinions on Martha and Ten. I think they came here looking for someone like them and found someone very NOT like them, despite the story I've been writing.
I feel very out of place. Like I'm half in one part of fandom (the Rosefen side), half in the other (the sane side), and trying desperately to see the good in the Rosefen side. I'm trying very hard not to rebel against finishing this story just to spite them, because I know so many Rosefen are reading it. And I also know how many normal fans are reading, people who just enjoy a good, long romp of a story, that's not too romantic or shippy either, and I want to finish it for them - and myself.
I'm just so frustrated. I hate this stupid hate that's overtaken fandom! I want to like Rose and Ten/Rose and not be automatically viewed as one of the Rosefen... I want to like Martha and Ten/Martha and not be seen as a Rose-hater... I want to finish this story and not cringe every time I have to write Rose in a good light. Rose Tyler is great character with human flaws... but it's her fan's flaws that are stopping me right now and I'm feeling really emo for myself and the story.
I started it a little over a year ago, in the middle of series 2, because I loved Ten and Rose so very much. I never wrote it out of some shipper agenda, because I was never a shipper, I wrote it because my fingers and my brain were literally tingling to go further and deeper than the show could with their friendship, relationship, bond, whatever you'd call it, plus I wanted to write a really confusing mystery story too. I'm still in love with the mystery part of it, totally and utterly, but the Ten/Rose part? Not so much...
I just cannot help it! Before series 3 started, before the Rosefen attacked Martha and proved themselves to be obnoxious little idiots, I had NO problem writing a Ten/Rose story. But now, given my opinions on some Ten/Rose shippers and the Rosefen... I don't WANT to write for them anymore. I wish they hadn't alienated previous Rose fans so much that even someone who wasn't really a Ten/Rose shipper who might have enjoyed the story wouldn't read it now, specifically because it's Ten/Rose. I mean, that's how I feel and I'M the one writing a Ten/Rose story.
Besides that, when people see Ten/Rose listed as the pairing, they may think I'm one of THEM. Those crazy Rosefen gals, STILL harping on about Rose and Ten/Rose even now, whereas, I'm just a writer trying to finish a story that I love. My God, I don't want to be seen as one of the Rosefen. Ever.
I'm so anti-Rosefen, that I've had fans of the story who'd friended this journal actually de-friend me in the last few weeks because of my opinions on fandom's attitude to Rose and my opinions on Martha and Ten. I think they came here looking for someone like them and found someone very NOT like them, despite the story I've been writing.
I feel very out of place. Like I'm half in one part of fandom (the Rosefen side), half in the other (the sane side), and trying desperately to see the good in the Rosefen side. I'm trying very hard not to rebel against finishing this story just to spite them, because I know so many Rosefen are reading it. And I also know how many normal fans are reading, people who just enjoy a good, long romp of a story, that's not too romantic or shippy either, and I want to finish it for them - and myself.
I'm just so frustrated. I hate this stupid hate that's overtaken fandom! I want to like Rose and Ten/Rose and not be automatically viewed as one of the Rosefen... I want to like Martha and Ten/Martha and not be seen as a Rose-hater... I want to finish this story and not cringe every time I have to write Rose in a good light. Rose Tyler is great character with human flaws... but it's her fan's flaws that are stopping me right now and I'm feeling really emo for myself and the story.