Bad evening

[whogeek]

Found out that my dog, who we thought was going to make it through surgery/treatment for cancer ok, got really, really, really bad this weekend.  They're putting her down tonight.  I'm going to go take a shower, and possibly cry myself to sleep.

Comments

[jetpack_angel]

*holds arms out for a hug*

[whogeek]

**clings**

[jetpack_angel]

Remember her good days, and be happy that her suffering is finally coming to and end, and it will come in sleep. *hugs tightly*

[whogeek]

Yeah. I just... I wish I could see her one last time. You know?

[jetpack_angel]

I know. But if you could, then you would see her at her worst, and it would color your memories. Remember how happy she greeted you and what her fur felt like under your fingers, and hold the image of her best health in your mind. Focus on that: she's not going to hurt anymore, ever. No more vet visits, or baths, or getting yelled at for sniffing at the trash can. She'll just be a happy little ball of carpet in God's armchair, and He'll just sigh and give her a belly rub before taking the couch.

How old was she? What breed? What was her favorite squeaky toy? Did she have any personality quirks? Did she like to wake you up with her slobber-flinger in your ear?

[whogeek]

Yeah, I know. I still wish I could have been there. Made her last few days a little better. Done something for her.

She was... would have been 11 in February. She was a brittany, but kind of a quirk of the breed, too much feathering in all the wrong places. Her favorite toy was this little dinosaur squeaky toy we called Dino. She liked to chase squirrels around the yard, and she would jump up, 10 feet sometimes, to try and go after them. And yeah, she would lick my face to get me up in the mornings. She was so much to me.

[jetpack_angel]

What else? Tell me about her. Tell me her stories.

'My' dog Rocky lives with my mom and stepdad down in Arkansas. We got him when I was in the seventh grade, and I lived with him up until they moved away not long after senior year. Mom joked that he was 'defective' because he had a 'broken' ear (an ear that had a fold so it stayed half-flopped even when pricked). He's a Feist, long-legged and surprisingly barrel-chested for a squirrel dog, and can be mistaken for a very large Chihuahua for those who don't know any better. But he's got these neat little swirls in his fur on his neck, chest, and especially his butt, and when he's got his 'trapdoor' closed you can see the Cingular Wireless logo. Mom had wanted to get the sleepy puppy, but noooooo, we got the hyperactive spaz who chewed up all four legs of my mom's wooden piano bench, a few slippers, books, cassette tapes, he ate hole on both sides of the couch so you could see all the way through it, and one time he ate an entire box of Valentine chocolates and didn't so much as hiccup

[whogeek]

Oh, let's see

[jetpack_angel]

Sounds like that dumb puppy (fire ants? seriously? I take it she didn't make it to the 'learning experience' stage of that experiment) grew into a wise dog. I laugh at her being determined enough to jump the fence the first time, and then smart enough to sit right outside it the second time and get the humans to do her dirty work. That's just awesome. And aww, going to find Nutmeg

[whogeek]

Well, she liked to push the boundary, so she would run the battery down(or the fence itself would be out/cut somewhere), and then she would forget once she was on the other side of the fence that it wasn't working. But yeah, she wasn't actually a dumb dog, as much as we sometimes said she was. A little ridiculous and sometimes kinda stupid, but definitely not dumb.

Yeah, the crazy-face with the wide eyes and the open mouth and the ears all pulled back. Tess always wants to sit with/on her people when she goes on car rides.

With Tess, she learned that the linoleum was very slippery, and not good for traction. And the times she's been introduced to puppies she gave us the "why are you letting this thing in our space?" wounded look

[jetpack_angel]

Heh. Your tale of the electric fence reminds me of a vid I saw with a Golden retriever who was confounded by a door that probably used to have one of those big thick glass panes in it, except this time there was no glass. The only obstacle to him getting through the doorway barely reached his little doggy ankles, but no matter how much his owners would call, he would just whine and paw the floor and spin around and bark until his owner opened the door for him.

That's good. Glad to hear it. Sleep good.

[jetpack_angel]

I'm not trying to make it worse. I'm just saying, "hold onto the good times." Remember them fondly. Remember how she made you a better person, and what she taught you. Cry, kick, scream, throw things, experience your grief, and then remember that happiness exists.

[whogeek]

Yeah, I know. And I appreciate it. I put some pictures of her in, so.... **wobbly smile**