Oct 11, 2010 14:46
The Beast is clawing away at me, just under the skin. And this restlessness is so much harder to ignore. Screaming, snarling, roaring at me. The urge to get out, flee, run, hide, run, run, don't look back, get away, push people away, runrunrunrunrun. And where the need to move, fight, MOVE is hard to ignore, this is 10, 20 times worse. The urge to run away from everything, everyone who's close to me, everyone who knows me. And it hurts to ignore it. Because it would be so easy to just walk out and disappear. And there's a normal part of me that wants to. To just move, go, escape, leave and not come back, just me, my laptop, and a few other things. It would be so easy, and part of me wants to. I want to listen to the urge to be anywhere but here, and just leave all the worries about school and stuff behind. I want to not care about getting through college, and it's so hard to resist.
restless,
college,
twitchy,
ramble,
freaked-out