Life
I can’t believe where I was to where I am is so vastly different. I have come a long way from the lost little punk rock girl to a woman with two amazing kids, a stable career, as of April I will have a college degree, I have an amazing husband, I am a home owner and soon I am about to start my own side business. I am the product of abuse; molest/date rape, addict parents, one functioning the other in and out of prison and not in my life because he chose to keep me safe. I resented him for years, but now that I am a grown woman and have children of my own, amazing step kids and a life, I get it. I know in my heart had my father known the bullshit I was experiencing, he would have put an end to it, he would have sent me to his family and they were amazing. Knowing that somehow has helped me to get over all of the trauma as well as cut out the drama. When Adam passed it was like a whole new perspective just came over me. Suddenly, I found this new desire for life and things turned around. I won’t lie though, I have been struggling with major depression issues and while I lost 100lbs I have gained 30 back. This is because primarily for the last year I have been on shut down mode. I stopped going to the gym, stopped eating right. Stopped caring. My career path was beating my ass daily and wearing me down. Now I am in a good paying, stable job. Although, not as challenging, but I am in the process of opening a consulting business for medical practices on the side. I know me this will help. I have a friend who has an amazing real estate office and he has offered to rent me office space there for $150.00 a month. I think if I continue to challenge myself, if I continue to push myself things will be okay for me. I have learned in this stage of depression that idle hands can truly be the death of me. Because believe you me, even with my home, career, kids and life, I would not have minded not waking up most of the last couple of years. I am turning this around and handling my life the way I handle my career. I am so thankful for Adam. So thankful for my husband. So thankful.